


Precious

by Shwtlee



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Childhood Friends, Alternate Universe - College/University, Astrophysics Major, Best Friends Falling in Love, Coming of Age, Demisexuality, Depression, Devoted Reylo, Devoted a f, Eventual Romance, F/M, Falling In Love, Friends to Lovers, Jealousy can be good sometimes, Mental Health Issues, Rating will change, Rey Kenobi, Star Gazing, You Need A Teacher, and ben has a walk down the memory lane, and they both realize their love for each other isn't just platonic, eventual kiss, it's going to be a long night, more tags would be added, rey reluctantly goes no a date, they take care of each other
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-14
Updated: 2018-04-26
Packaged: 2018-12-02 03:25:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 22
Words: 41,802
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11500794
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shwtlee/pseuds/Shwtlee
Summary: The baby was a tiny thing; Ben had never seen anyone that small. She had soft brown hair and long lashes that almost touched her cheeks. When he saw her, Ben felt this strong urge to run his fingers down her round cheeks. He knew he wasn't supposed to, so he looked behind him and saw the adults were engaged in a deep conversation and took the opportunity. But as soon as he touched her, the baby’s eyes shot open and big green hazel eyes stared right back at him. He was so shocked he tried to pull his hand away, but found he couldn’t because she was holding his index finger in her tiny hand in a strong grip.When the adults found them; Ben was still standing by her crib, softly talking to her, and Rey’s still holding on to his finger, looking at him.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> One of my Modern Au is about to end, so decided to post this one. 
> 
> It's the very first Reylo story I've ever written, and it's based on a lot of my own personal experiences. 
> 
> So hope you like it :)

* * *

 

 

Ben was about to put his laptop down when he heard the bell chime. Confused he thought, _who could it possibly be at this hour?_

 

Then he heard Rey call out, "Can you get that?"

  
Ben opened the door just to be shoved aside by Finn and Jessica, hurrying in with what looked like bags and shoe boxes. They marched into his apartment without even a hello, and went straight to Rey's room down the hall.

 

"Yes, come in", Ben called dryly, rolling his eyes. He heard them shut the door to Rey's room while he walked back to the couch to his assignment, only sparring one last glance at the closed door.

 

* * *

  
Rey was very nervous. This was her first real date. Because going to the prom with your gay best friend, or being conned into a coffee date by a science project partner did _not_ count as real dates. And yes, that's all the experience she had when it came to romance.

 

Well, in her defense she never really felt attracted enough to someone before to pursue any kind of romantic entanglement. So when the most popular guy in their year had asked her out, she’d only said yes to this because of peer pressure and to shut Finn up. When Nate asked her out she was with all her friends. She can't say she wasn't impressed by his level of confidence, in fact it was quite bold and she admired him for that. Especially since he approached her in the middle of a crowded café. She could tell he wasn't used to people saying no to him. And there were people present in that very café who wouldn't even give it a second thought before saying yes to him.

 

  
So yeah, she was 19, a sophomore in college, and going on her first date ever, with one of the most popular guys on the campus. What could possibly go wrong?

 

* * *

 

  
All Ben could hear from the living room was Finn's high pitched squeals and Jessica's giggles. His Rey wasn't talking much. He could tell she was nervous about the big date. Ben didn't like this one bit, because she clearly wasn't comfortable and was only doing this because of peer pressure. He sighed and went back to his assignment.

 

* * *

 

  
"Okay, stop fidgeting, you look amazing" Finn said with an exasperated sigh.

Rey looked down at her dress. It was a navy blue lace and not too revealing, the length reached mid-thigh. She was wearing Jessica's black peek a boo pumps. The heels were uncomfortably high and Rey was worried she might fall down or twist her ankle.

  
"Isn't it great that we have the same shoe-size?" Jessica said excitedly.

  
Finn nodded approvingly. "Yeah or else we would have had to go shoe shopping."

  
Rey smiled sheepishly while thinking, _no!_ She really didn't want to go shopping with them, she promised herself that when she went to buy her prom dress with Finn. _Never again!_

  
"Rey you look gorgeous. Nate won't be able to take his eyes off of you," Jessica chimed in.

  
"The whole restaurant won't be able to take their eyes off of her," Finn supplied.

  
"Okay, all done,” Finn said, flourishing the mascara wand in front of her. Admiring his handy work. Rey looked at the mirror. She did _not_ look like herself, she thought. That made her uncomfortable, and not for the first time tonight.

 

"It's going to be a long night,” she muttered under her breath.

 

“What was that?" Finn asked.

  
Rey tried to smile at her best friend. "I look… different. Thanks for helping me get ready you two, I really would have been lost."

  
"No problem, Peanut." Finn gave her one of his dazzling smiles. Jessica beamed at her and said, "Okay we have to go now. Our movie starts at 7:45, so we have to hurry. Let's go Finn."

  
"You _are_ going to be okay, right Peanut? Sorry we can't stay," Finn said, putting on his jacket as Jess opened the door.

  
"It's fine. Ben is here," Rey said as they walked out of the room.

 

* * *

 

  
Ben heard the door open and he looked up to see that Finn and Jessica were walking out with a very nervous Rey following them.

"What do you think, Ben?" Jessica said, with a weird knowing smile on her face that Ben found disturbing.

Ben looked at Rey, they'd put a lot of makeup on her face, to the point that he could barely see her freckles, it was unsettling. Her hair was down, and she was wearing heels that didn't look comfortable. She looked gorgeous. But then again to Ben, Rey is perfect even in her messy bun and oversized sweatpants.

"You look beautiful, sweetheart." He told her, walking up to her as her friends opened the front door. Rey gave him a side hug, resting her head on his shoulder as she waved them goodbye. Finn made her promise to text him with details when she got back.

Rey let out a long sigh when the door finally closed, burying her face in his chest.

 

"Those shoes don't look comfortable," Ben said pressing his cheek on the crown of her head.

  
"Because they’re not," Rey muttered into his chest.

  
"Aren't you worried about your makeup, sweetheart?" Ben teased. Rey looked up and rolled her eyes at him.

 

Ben let go of her and sat down on the couch, holding up a hand for her. Rey took it and sat down beside him, instantly folding herself into his side, her ear pressed up against his chest. He knew she was listening to his heartbeat, as he felt her slowly relax. Ben wrapped his arms around her and held her close.

  
"Better?" Ben asked, looking down.

 

"Hmm," Rey murmured.

 

"You know, you don't have to do this right? If you want I can get rid of this guy," Ben said.

  
He looks down to see her shut her eyes for a moment. And then she pulls away.

  
"No, I want to do this. It's just a date. I have to do it sooner or later." Ben didn't like that statement. He didn't want Rey to do something just because she felt obliged to do it, because everyone expected her to.

Rey could probably sense what he was thinking, because she put a reassuring hand on his knee, and said "You know no one can make me go if I don’t want to, right?"

  
Ben nodded. Yeah no one can make his little Rey of Sunshine do something she didn't want to do.

 

The buzzer from downstairs rang and Rey pulled away slightly from Ben with a huff.

 

"That must be Nate, I should get going."

 

She got up, tugging at her dress, smoothing it down. Ben followed.

 

He looked down at her, holding her lightly by her arms, "Are you sure you’re going to be okay?" he asked worriedly.

 

"Mmhmm,” she sounded more certain this time, "I’ll be fine." She gave him one of her winning smiles. Ben couldn't help but smile back.

 

"Okay, sweetheart, I will take you up on that. But call me if you need to leave, or if you need me to pick you up, okay?" Ben implored, holding her gaze.

 

Rey nodded, grabbed her purse, walked to the door, then stepped out of their apartment into the hallway leading to the elevator. Ben followed her, standing in the doorway, looking at her retreating form. Something inside of him didn't feel right, he had this strong urge to go after her and pull her back into his embrace.

 

Ben physically shook himself to banish that thought. It's just a date, and Rey is all grown up. She needed to take chances and make her own mistakes. He couldn’t shield her from everything forever. If going on dates and meeting new people were the things normal people do, then by all means she should do them. Ben had never been one of them, and he didn't fully understand the point of these things that regular people do. But if Rey wanted to do them, he would never stop her. He has no right to do so. He walked back inside, shutting the door.

 

* * *

 

Ben was never good at socializing. When he was a young boy, he had a very difficult time connecting with people and making friends. He never had anything in common with them. Ben was, or at least it’s what people liked to call him, a genius. He was at the top of his class since he was a kid and was sent to advanced levels due to his academic achievements. He always had to attend classes with kids older than him, and so making friends was hard. Even though he never could find any shared interest with people his own age either.

 

Not until he met Rey. Ben has known Rey since she was a baby. She was born on a warm summer day. Ben was 5 and half years old and was travelling with his Uncle Luke to see his old mentor and Ben's namesake, Old Ben Kenobi. Old Ben's daughter, Rannelle was pregnant and was due to have her baby that summer.

 

When Rey was born, Ben went to the hospital to see the newborn with his uncle. She would be named Raelynn Kenobi. She was named after some brave pilot, who died fighting during the old wars.

 

Ben, even at that age, was a little skeptical about the name and the morbid situation surrounding it. But then Uncle Luke called her the Ray of Light, just as rare as a sunny, summer day in Stewjon, like the day she was born. Ben couldn't help but liking that explanation better.

 

The baby was a tiny thing; Ben had never seen anyone that small. She had soft brown hair and long lashes that almost touched her cheeks. When he saw her, Ben felt this strong urge to run his fingers down her round cheeks. He knew he wasn't supposed to, so he looked behind him and saw the adults were engaged in a deep conversation and took the opportunity. But as soon as he touched her, the baby’s eyes shot open and big green hazel eyes stared right back at him. He was so shocked he tried to pull his hand away, but found he couldn’t because she was holding his index finger in her tiny hand in a strong grip.

 

When the adults found them; Ben was still standing by her crib, softly talking to her, and Rey’s still holding on to his finger, looking at him.

 

After that, Rey would visit them every summer with her parents and Old Ben. Sometimes Ben would go to Stewjon with his mom or uncle, during Christmas time.

 

Every six month Rey would grow a little more. And ben was always delighted to spend time with his little friend. Once she started talking no one could stop her. Even though she was years younger than him, Ben was never tired of talking to his Rey.

 

Just thinking about those early years made Ben smile. He walked up to the window facing the front of the building. There was a car parked outside and a brown haired boy standing beside it. Rey walked out and that put a smile on the boy's face. Ben couldn’t see her reaction because her back was turned to him.

 

The boy opened the passenger side door for her. She gave him a brief hug and slid inside the car. The boy, Nate, was grinning broadly now as he makes his way to the other side of the car before sliding in.

 

They drove off and Ben was left still staring at the spot the car was just in moments ago. Once more he was gripped by that same hollow feeling he felt when Rey was walking away from him. He decided he can’t go back to his assignment now, he should just hit the gym and get some of the excess energy out. Physical exertion has always helped him focus better. He made sure to grab his phone on his way to the gym in case Rey calls.

 

* * *

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben's walk down memory lane continues and a friend calls.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The night continues... 
> 
> I'm surprised but i wrote a bit more. And it's all because of your encouragement. It's kinda therapeutic for me to write this AU. So thanks for the comments and kudos on the first chapter. :)

 

 

* * *

 

 

_As Ben approached his teen years, he became more and more withdrawn. School was difficult and lonely. His parents were rarely home; not that they were very present when Ben was just a kid, but with every new position his mother took, she seems to have less and less time for Ben. His pilot dad was always away and Ben didn't have much expectations of him._

 

_When he was younger, Ben enjoyed his uncle's company. As they shared the same interest in astronomy. Ben’s love for the stars was something he inherited from his mother's side of the family. His grandfather was a renowned astronomer and a space scientist. One of the pioneers of his time. His uncle made his name in the same field; he went to space when he was a young man, but later decided he preferred research and learning more about space than exploring it._

 

_Uncle Luke was a professor of the Astrophysics Department in Coruscant University and later was offered the position of the dean of the department. So he too had less and less time for Ben then._

 

_His uncle suffered from the same social anxiety as Ben. He taught Ben all the techniques he knew to cope with the problem, that he also inherited from the Skywalker side of his family._

 

_His grandfather suffered from it for years without treatment or preventive measures. No one knew, it was a well hidden family secret but Anakin Skywalker committed suicide when he had one of his episodes, after losing his wife and the love of his life, Padme._

 

_Ben still remembered daily meditation session with uncle Luke after school. He was trained in martial art from a very young age. Ben still went to the dojo everyday. But uncle Luke, ever since he became the dean couldn't join him anymore, so he had to train with other students and he hated it._

 

_Ben was thirteen when he felt his family had abandoned him. He started to get more rebellious. He stayed out late, stopped attending doJo and started skipping classes._

 

_He also became unusually close to one of his school teachers, Mr. Snoke. It wasn't a good thing; even Ben knew Snoke was a bad news. But he really didn't care. Snoke praised him, encouraged him and he was looking for validation and didn't care where it came from._

 

* * *

 

Ben put the weight down, his muscles were screaming from the exertion. Nothing a hot shower couldn't fix, he decided. He went along to do some squats and few more stretches. He knew he is pushing it. But he needed to stop his overactive brain from thinking. He couldn't focus on anything like this. He definitely couldn't go back to his papers now. Keeping himself occupied was the only way he could stop himself from grabbing his keys and going after Rey.

 

 _That's ridiculous._ He admonished himself, _she is an adult, she can handle a stupid date! You shouldn't be breathing down her neck like this._

 

He collected his things and went into the shower. The gym of their apartment building was well equipped and rarely had people around. Just how Ben preferred.

 

Ben was in the shower stall, letting the near scorching water cascade down his back. He could feel his muscles relaxing but his skin screaming at him for the assault.

 

He was snapped out if his meditative state when his phone went off. He hastily turned off the water, almost ran out of the stall, clutching a towel to wipe his hands so he can unlock his phone. In his haste and without his glasses he barely noticed who was calling.

 

“Rey, are you okay?” He panted into the phone.

 

“Ben! It's me.” The nasal voice of Hux replied. “You don't have your glasses on, do you buddy?”

 

“No, I was in the shower. What do you want?” Ben was feeling cold now, he reached for another towel, wrapping it around his waist. He was getting annoyed. But he didn't know why? He really thought it was Rey calling. She didn't call or text him since she left.

 

“Nothing, it's Friday night, I thought you would like to come out, we are at the cantina, come and join us.”

 

“Who is us?” Ben asked. He wrapped a towel around his dripping hair. He was having a hard time drying himself with one hand.

 

“Oh me and a couple of girls from Skywalker’s project. You have seen them. One of them is quite into you, remember I pointed out the other day?” Hux enthused.

 

“No, I don't remember, they all look the same to me. Anyway I can't, _come out,_ I have to work on my paper.” Ben said putting his glasses on. And holding his phone between his shoulder and ear, pulled up his black sweatpants.

 

“No you don't. You can take a night off from working on your research. Dude you are too wound up. You gotta get laid! Get rid of some of those excess energy you have pent up inside.”

 

“Hux, just drop it. I'm not interested. For the last time stop trying to set me up with random strangers.”

 

“But...” Hux started.

 

But Ben interrupted him again with, “I know what you are going to say. Yes they are strangers, even if we are from the same class or from the same academic group. I'm not interested in random hook ups. Not now, wasn't ever.”

 

“Well I remember it differently. Because you were quite into that when we were in our sophomore year. You went through them like wildfire.”

 

Ben remembers too. The thought makes his stomach roil. He needed to know what's wrong with himself. Needed to see if he felt something, anything, for anyone. Well, that was a colossal waste of time and effort. Ben cringed internally. What was he thinking. _Oh you know what you were thinking. You wanted attention. And you felt hollow and alone. And their attention didn't feel that bad back then._ Until they all ended, in bitter disappointment and dissatisfaction. He never slept with the same person twice. Even looking at them after _the act_ made him feel sick. Dirty? It was dirty. And Ben didn't know what's wrong with him. Still didn't figure that out.

 

He was so caught up in his own inner conflict he almost forgot he was on the phone with Hux - who was still talking about some girl, or was it a guy?

 

“Listen man she showed her interest outwardly, she has been eyeing you for weeks now. She came up and talked to you few times outside of class. Do you really think she wanted to be in your research group for just _research._ ”

 

Oh Ben remembers this one, all makeup and drawn brows. She is probably smart, one had to be in their field. But he was so happy she wasn't really in their department. And hopefully will be gone after this project. There is nothing he hates more than unwanted attention.

 

Ben got a lot of that ever since he grew out of his awkward teen phase. When he was in high school no one even gave him a second glance. He took a break from studying and went traveling after he graduated.

 

Uncle Luke called it a rite of passage. He went to one when he was Ben’s age. He said it gave him a..perspective. It gave Ben 8 packs and 3 more inches. He traveled to Europe and central Asia, stayed and did all sorts of odd jobs, didn't touch his inheritance even once. He was very proud of it. But he never found peace. He found adventure. But it was nothing like what Luke had. And he missed Rey. _Rey_ …

 

That thought brought him back to present. Hux was still yammering about if he would be interested in men. Ben has to put a stop to this. It's not like he was against it. He tried, during his search for truth. But he knows that's not what he wanted. Well he didn't want anyone. _And wasn't that the problem?_

 

“Hux I gotta go. I'm feeling tired and no I don't want you to set me up with a man. I'm just not interested..” then he added, if only for his friend's peace of mind and to shut him up. “..right now.”

 

That clearly worked. Hux hung up right after a few more pleasantries and a firm promise to bring him out next time. Ben rolled his eyes and was about to lock his screen when he saw he missed a call from Rey. It might have went on call waiting when he spaced out during the conversation with Hux. He inwardly cursed himself before hastily dialing her number.

 

She picked up after three rings. “Hey Ben!”

 

“Rey, are you okay?” Ben rapt on the phone.

“I'm fine, your phone was on waiting. I'm here. Was just letting you know. I texted you.” Rey replied.

 

She means the address. Ben knew about that. He taught her that when she became a teenager and started going to places unaccompanied. Every time she went somewhere she will text either him (or Finn when Ben wasn't there) the address.

 

Ben looked down on the screen to notice a message notification from Rey. “Hmm, just saw it. It's nearby.” He confirmed.

 

Ben heard her taking a menu and thanking the server politely.

 

“If you need me to pick you up just let me know. Okay sweetheart?” Ben added.

 

He heard a male voice asking her if she wanted to drink something. And heard Rey decline. Ben smirked. That's his Rey. She knew not to drink on her first date with someone. He really did teach her well.

 

“Okay Ben. I will let you know. When I'm done.” Then she said in a hushed voice, like she didn't want her date to hear. “Did you have dinner yet?”

 

Ben smiled to himself. “I'm about to. I will talk to you later then?” He said as he picked up his gym bag and turned the lights off in the gym and shut the door. “Enjoy your dinner sweetheart.” then he hung up and went to elevator.

 

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading. I'd really appreciate it if you can let me know your thoughts. :)


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The night continues: And we get to learn about Rey's back story and Ben watches a documentary on Netflix...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the comments, I have to get them soon.

 

* * *

 

 

Thirteen year old Ben thought he was losing his mind. He was having episodes more often, and without anyone to help him, he truly felt lost. But then it happened. One Sunday morning Ben learned from a very grim faced Uncle Luke that Old Ben's daughter, Rannelle and her husband, had been in an accident. They died on the spot before the paramedics came. Even more disturbing was the news that little Rey was with them, she was mostly unharmed with superficial wounds but she witnessed it all. And she had been quite withdrawn since then and refused to talk to anyone. She was still in shock.

 

Old Ben tried everything, from therapist to ptsd counselors, to changing her school; nothing seemed snap little Rey out of her stupor. She would eat, go to sleep, do her work but wouldn't talk or play; she'd just sit somewhere staring into nothing. The little girl who wouldn't stop talking now just wouldn't even open her mouth. Old Ben was at his wits end.

 

Then the doctors suggested a change of scene. And his family encouraged Old Ben to move to their city. So he did, in the summer of Rey’s 7th birthday they moved to the house across from Ben’s.

 

The twins took it up on themselves to help Ben Kenobi move in. He lost his only child, but he still had them. He had always been a guardian to them, since they lost their parents at a very early age.

 

The day Rey finally arrived, Ben was helping his mother rearrange furniture. He hadn’t seen her since the accident and was looking forward to reuniting with his little friend. The moment Rey saw Ben, she rushed to him and hugged him. Everyone was surprised, especially her grandfather, who had been trying to get her to interact for over six months.

 

Ben was surprised but he returned her hug. His mother asked him to take Rey to her room and show her around. He took her upstairs and helped her settle in, even unpacked her luggage for her. His little Rey didn’t utter a word, just silently worked by his side.

 

In the evening, Ben took Rey out to show her around the neighbourhood. They walked around but didn’t talk. But when they returned and sat on the back porch of her new house that overlooked the ocean, she finally spoke.

 

Rey told him everything, how she felt, how the she could still see flashing lights when she closed her eyes. Ben just quietly listened. He knew that was all she needed.

 

At first she’d only spoke to him, but as the weeks went by, she started to open up. They’d spend most of their days together. It was summer and Ben didn’t have anything much to do. He’d take her out to get milkshakes and to the playground. He didn’t play, he thought he was too old for that but he’d go for Rey.

 

Ben started going to the dojo regularly once again. Having Rey constantly around anchored him. He didn’t feel lost or rebellious. He had Rey to think about now. He couldn’t act irresponsibly around her, lest he became a bad influence.

 

Rey started accompanying him to the dojo. His little friend would follow him everywhere, like a lost duckling. And he couldn’t be happier. He wasn’t alone anymore. He had his Rey. Their master suggested to Uncle Luke that Rey should join the Dojo as well, since she was there everyday with Ben. And so Rey did. She would train with kids her age and practice with Ben later. He was glad Rey was learning self defense.

 

One day their master saw Ben assisting Rey after class and was very impressed by him. He asked Ben to start helping with the junior class. At first he was reluctant, but then acquiesced. After a while he started liking it, teaching the younglings helped him focus as well. Their master called him a natural, he proved to be a very good teacher.

 

Summer came to an end and it was time for Rey to join her new school. She was doing much better, but she still didn’t make any friends. She practised with the other kids at the dojo but didn’t talk to them. They were worried she would be isolated in the school. But the little girl kept surprising them all. On the first day she made a friend.

 

Rey met Finn, another transfer student. On their first day they became fast friends. She still didn’t talk to many people but she was slowly opening up. Starting of school was another torment for Ben, the peace he felt during the summer vacation slowly started to melt away and he felt his anxiety and depression creeping in once again.

 

But it wasn’t as bad. Everyday after school, he’d spend time with Rey. They’d go to dojo, then they’d come home and he’d help her with her school works. She was a smart little one, way ahead for her age. Ben was amused to find he could have a more stimulating conversation with her than with most of his classmates.

 

Rey started showing interest in astronomy as well. It seemed they are destined to follow their families footsteps. And Ben started to indulge her curiosity. He lend her his books that he read at her age and found she would finish them and ask for more. Rey had an unquenchable thirst for knowledge and Ben found his match in her.

 

He would take her to the cliff side on the nights when the sky was clear and they’d take his telescope and stargaze. Every once in awhile Uncle Luke would take them out of the city to see meteor showers. Those would be the best nights. It was like camping for them; Luke would let them roast marshmallows and they’d have to sleep in sleeping bags.

 

When she’d have nightmares that'd wake her up in the middle of the night and she'd crawl into his bag. Luke would find them in the morning huddled into one bag fast asleep. It was the scenario for wherever they went. Their families went to vacations together and the adults would find Rey sleeping in Ben’s bed most mornings.

 

Being friends with Finn meant Rey was spending time with him as well. And at first Ben felt upset about it, but he admonished himself for feeling that way. Rey needed to get some normalcy back in her life and he couldn’t monopolize her time.

 

* * *

 

As Ben opened the door to their apartment he again had the same thought. A walk down the memory lane brought back many things. He dropped his gym bag by the door and walked to the kitchen.

 

He was right, couldn’t monopolize her time. And unnecessarily worrying about her would only keep her away from enjoying her evening. He needed to temper himself. She said she was fine and she would call him if she needed him. And he should try to be content with that.

 

Ben opened the fridge and saw a sandwich wrapped in foil and with a sticky note on it. “Dinner. Eat on time!”

 

Shaking his head, he got the sandwich out. She was always trying to look out for him, he thought as he unwrapped the sandwich and started eating.

 

* * *

 

After eating he tried to get back to his work, but his mind kept drifting to Rey. He thought the physical exertion would lull his trepidation, but it didn’t. It just made his muscles sore. He tried to watch TV, started up netflix but all he could see on the dash was movies they started watching together and left half way, or the TV shows Rey wanted to watch and they were saving for the weekend to binge watch. A petulant part of his brain told him, he shouldn’t feel guilty, she should’ve been here and they could have watched something together. He shook his head and dragged his mind away from those thoughts.

 

Ben opt for finding a space documentary, they always seem to calm his nerves. Browsing through the documentary list on Netflix he was looking for one that he haven't watched yet. Instead his eyes fell on a social documentary series about dating, sex, and tech. Ben didn’t know what compelled him to press play, because 20 minutes later he was still watching the series. And the topic they were discussing was alarming him. His nerve ends were on the edge. Back of his head, the sane part of him was shouting at him to shut it down before he started having a panic attack. But he watched it till the end of the first episode. And now knew what were the statistics of a girl getting sexually assaulted on their first date. Scary part was that wasn’t the worst thing that can happen.

 

He kept telling himself, Rey knew this boy, he was from their college. And they are in a public place, it wasn’t serious and she would call him if she needed him. He kept repeating it to calm himself down. But it wasn’t working.

 

Next thing he knew he was opening up his laptop and looking this Nate up. He was a junior, Pure & Applied Physics Major, 4.0 GPA (he might have used his research assistant access to get that information), very active, likes outdoors, plays for their lacrosse team. Ben rolled his eyes, of course, he was a perfect boy. Even volunteered for the homeless shelter every Sunday. He looked into his social media profile. He had many friends, and he seemed very comfortable in his skin and not camera shy, if the thousands of picture he was tagged in said anything.

 

Ben realized this Nate couldn’t be more different than him. He was conventionally handsome, brown hair done in the latest hairstyle, had the bluest eyes and perfect bone structure. He definitely never been bullied for his looks, everyone probably accepted him and no one looked at him like he was the odd one out.

 

He let out a long sigh, as he shut down his computer. Resting his head back, he covered his face with his hands. What was wrong with him? Why was he behaving like this? Why would he try to compare himself with this boy. They weren’t in any competition.

 

But deep inside him, a small part of him let him know he was. This boy had it easy. He probably never had to prove himself to anyone. Of course he’d approach Rey. And of course she said yes. He looked confident and sure of himself. Something Ben never was. And would never be.

 

He didn’t know why this was bothering him so much. Nate was the perfect guy for Rey. He should be glad, he wouldn’t have to worry. But all he felt was hollowed and irritated. Everything about the situation was bothering him.

 

Ben was on the precipice of a panic attack. It seemed inevitable. He didn’t know what triggered it but then again did it ever matter? What's is to come shall come. He tried to take deep breaths. But felt like he was choking.

 

There was only one way left to him. He got up rushed for the door. Taking the keys from the table beside it stepped out of the apartment.

 

In a few moments he was seated inside the falcon behind the wheel. The familiar feel of the leather under his touch and the smell inside his car started to sooth his nerves. And he closed his eyes just breathing it in. When he felt a little calmer he started off the car and pulled out of the parking and drove into the night.

 

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rey's back story was hard to write, but now you know why they are so close and what they mean to each other.
> 
> Also moral of the story don't watch documentaries on topics you cant handle, esp if you have anxiety. Looking at you, Robyn. lol
> 
> Space documentaries are my idea of relaxation lol.
> 
> Anyway, please let me know your thought on the chapter and thank you for reading. :))


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Best friends actually.” Rey corrected. “We grew up together. Our families are very close.”
> 
> “He lives on the campus as well? Is he finishing his doctoral?”
> 
> “Just started. On his 1st year. He lives on the campus. I share his apartment.” Rey told him with a smile.
> 
> Nate was drinking from him glass of water and he started coughing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> An update!!!! lol. 
> 
> This is for @Blackeyedlily and my wifey for your encouragements

 

* * *

 

 

Ben realized he was using Rey as a distraction to run from his own problems. He usually kept to himself in school and had no friends, not that he wanted one. He realized early on he was better off without, because he didn’t trust people. He was also terrified of attention on him and liked to be left alone.

 

Once he was back in school, he saw Snoke again. The man tried to talk to Ben and get closer to him. But this time around he didn’t have any of Snoke's classes, so tried to stay away. Ben intentionally didn’t take his class. He was afraid of him and had the good sense of cutting him out entirely. Ben didn’t quite understand what Snoke wanted from him, but it always felt like he was preparing him for something, and his attention on him had some nefarious purpose behind it.

 

Ben was in his sophomore year then, because he was a year ahead of the kids his age. But he wanted to get high school done faster. So he took extra credits and kept himself busy with studies. Studying helped, it kept his mind working and those bad thoughts away. At the end of the day he was too tired to think about anything else other than crashing in bed and falling into a dreamless sleep.

 

But even in his terrible times, Rey was his beacon of light. Always reminding him of the good things in life. Sophomore year passed, so did junior year. Soon Ben was in his senior year and sending out applications for universities. He planned on going to Coruscant U, his uncle and grandfather went there, so did Rey’s grandfather. All Astrophysicists. And Ben plans to be one as well. But he still didn't want to leave anything to chance and applied to quite a few other universities.

 

Ben got accepted in all of them but chose Coruscant as planned. The summer before he was supposed to go away Ben spent almost every waking moment with Rey. She was 11 years old now and almost back to the little girl she was before the accident. She had friends, she interacted with people, she was involved in activities. But there was still a little part of her that was always sad. And Ben could see that part. He knew his friend was trying. Trying to make everyone happy, trying to be happy herself. So much understanding in such a little soul. It always made Ben admire her.

 

But she could be herself when she was with him. She could be angry and sad at that whole world, with Ben she expressed her real feelings without the fear of hurting anyone.

 

Ben was afraid of leaving her behind. He was afraid she would again fold into herself if he wasn't around. He constantly worried about her. But Rey reassured him.

 

“I'll be fine Benny. You don't have to worry about me. I have everyone here. But who would take care of you there?”

 

It was adorable how she worried about him. He was almost an adult, and this child was worried about him. Well he'd be an adult in 1 and half years. But still he was going to university.

 

Coruscant wasn't far from his home. Just the next city. Ben packed up, said goodbye to everyone. Rey made him promise her he’d take care of himself and keep in touch. Which he did for the first year in college.

 

When he arrived in Coruscant his life remained much the same. His classmates were again not his age. This time around they were older than him. They basically ignored the scrawny sixteen year old, too smart for his own good. He was unusually tall and skinny. Too unremarkable to pay any attention.

 

But college was great. He got to study things he was interested in. The teachers were smarter and knew what they were talking about. They liked him. He wasn’t a teacher pet but he was smart and a quick study. His classmates were intelligent and he could see himself having more stimulating conversation with them. That was if they paid any attention to him. They opted for ignoring him.

 

At first he thought they just didn’t accept him because he was younger. Not that he wanted to be accepted. But still it bothered him a little to be excluded so entirely. Later he understood they were jealous of him. The teachers liked him better than most, that didn’t rub them the right way.

 

Ben tried not to take it personally or let it get to his head. His issues, though, grated against the inside of his skull. Bad thoughts lurking on the edge of his consciousness. One good thing about Coruscant, Uncle Luke was around. He made sure to spend time with Ben. He took him out to lunch or dinner twice a week. Ben was welcomed to take advantage of his personal equipments and telescope at his place. He would spend hours at Luke’s place all by himself, gazing at stars and cataloging them.

 

The first year at University passed just like that, alone and uneventful. Before he knew it, he was back home and Rey’s 12th birthday was approaching. They celebrated it with the family. Ben didn’t like celebrating his birthdays. But he went out of his way to make Rey’s birthday special. Leia would take this opportunity to indulge herself as well. She would throw a party or organize a family getaway for the occasion. They would be celebrating Ben’s birthday in a way he could not say no to. Rey was more than happy to celebrate it.

 

After they returned from their family trip that year, Ben broke the news to his family. He was taking a year off from college, to go travel. He discussed it with his Uncle already. Luke actually encouraged it. His mother was against it and his father seemed skeptical. But Old Ben thought it was an excellent idea.

 

They convinced his parents, because he still needed their permission. He was 6 months away from becoming 18. When they agreed Ben was more than relieved. Rey seemed to be excited about it as well. It made Ben wish he could take her along. But alas she was too young and they were barely letting him go. But he vowed he’d take her one day. Maybe when she was his age.

 

At the end of summer, instead of registering for courses, Ben booked tickets to travel the world.

* * *

 

Rey thought she was having a good time. Well she was at least having a good conversation with Nate. They talked about the courses they have in common and people they knew. He was easy to talk to and made Rey feel comfortable. Rey found him looking at her lips from time to time. That was the sign of a guy being attracted to you, right? At least that’s what Finn and Jess told her. She tried to do the same. She tried to notice things she might like about him. Things that she might find attractive.

 

She didn’t think she had a type. She checked guys out on campus. But there was never a definite type. She might like someone’s eyes, someone’s smile or someone’s dark hair. But it was flitting. She was never interested in someone long enough to even develop a crush.

 

Rey thought there must be something wrong with her. Her friends tried to set her up with guys, even girls. But it never worked out. It only served to irritate her. She clearly wasn’t going to approach anyone. That’s why when Nate asked her out they got so excited and she couldn’t say no to him, because she didn’t want to disappoint her friends yet again.

 

“Can I tell you something?” Nate asked pulling her out of her thoughts.

 

“Yes, of course.” Rey felt guilty for zoning out on him. Nate was an interesting guy. It’s really not him.

 

“I was really nervous when I asked you out. It took a lot of courage to approach you.” he said, ducking his head bashfully.

 

“Really?” Rey was genuinely surprised by his confession. “You don’t seem like someone who would be afraid of approaching a girl, Nate.” Rey teased. To her surprise Nate blushed.

 

“Um, I usually am not. But when you are asking the most beautiful girl of your year out, you have to be a little nervous.”

 

“That was the cheesiest line ever. I thought you could do better.” Rey told him. “I’m already out with you, you don’t have to lie to me now.”

 

“But it isn’t a lie.” He shook his head, like a lost little puppy. Puppy, yes that’s it. He reminded her of an over grown golden retriever, Rey mused.

 

“You are one of those girls who is out of everyone’s league. You are smarter than most people in our year. Everyone loves you because you are so nice and friendly. And to top it all, you are gorgeous.” Now it was time for her to blush.

 

“Stop! Stop!” Rey laughed holding her hands up to stop him.

 

And Nate smiled, “What? It is true. I mean I’m not a bad student myself-”

 

“And oh so humble.” Rey pointed.

 

“Well I am, but I didn’t make the Chancellor’s list, because you are setting a higher standard. And working hard isn’t even good enough now.” He said with a mock offense in his tone. But his eyes were gilting. Rey realized Nate was as honest as it gets.

 

“Well I have an unattainable goal to achieve of my own.” Rey grumbled under her breath.

 

“What was that?” Nate asked.

 

“Nothing it's just growing up I looked up to Ben. And he is nothing short of a genius. So I always had to push myself a little bit more.” Rey admitted. Which was entirely true. She realized it quite recently. When she came to live with him.

 

Ben was truly the worthy heir to his family's legacy. And Rey always admired him and his talent. But when she came to Coruscant she realized the extent of his achievements. He is a legend amongst his peers. The people younger than him worship him and his work. His mentors and professors admired him. But something even more remarkable was the fact that he was completely oblivious of his achievements. He was humble to the fault and didn't even believed in his own self worth.

 

“Ben Solo. Oh boy, if that's the standard you are striving for, then good luck. That guy _is_ a genius.” Nate huffed. “I heard you two are close. Friends, right?”

 

“Best friends actually.” Rey corrected. “We grew up together. Our families are very close.”

 

“He lives on the campus as well? Isn't he finishing his doctorate degree?”

 

“Just started. On his 1st year. Yes, he lives on the campus. We share an apartment.” Rey told him with a smile.

 

Nate was drinking from him glass of water and he started coughing.

 

“Are you okay?” Rey leaned forward, looking concerned.

 

Nate wiped his lips with the napkin, and tried to clear his throat.

 

“You live with him?” he asked.

 

Rey furrowed his brow. “Yeah. Funny story, when he leased the apartment, it was the only one available. And Ben didn't know what to do with two rooms. He didn't want any roommates. But Luke convinced him to keep it, saying Rey would join in couple of years.” Rey laughed. “So it's been my room for years.”

 

“Oh.” Nate said. “I had him as a TA last semester. He is-” he paused, as if looking for the right word. “Very strict.”

 

“A hardass.” Rey said at the same time.

 

They both laughed. “It's okay you can say it. He isn't the easiest person to impress. Trust me I know that.”

 

“Yeah. But he is good at what he does.” Nate admitted.

 

“He is.” Rey added fondly.

 

“Did you take any of the courses?”

 

“Nope. But he tutors me.” Rey said, with a shrug.

 

“Woah, that must me hard.” Nate said under his breath.

 

“No. It isn't. He is only strict because he knows it's for my own good. Besides, he can't stay mad at me for long.” Rey smiled fondly thinking about him, looking down at her hand. 

 

* * *

 

  
Across town Ben was aimlessly driving trying hard not to turn towards the direction of the restaurant Rey was in.

 

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nate might have sensed something there. Rey is still quite oblivious and Ben... well we'll know what he is up to next chapter.
> 
> Hope you liked the back story, it would probably take another chapter (or two) to catch up with present.
> 
> Please let me know your thoughts in the comments. They really help. :)


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You two really do care about each other.” Nate said, and Rey smiles at him. Yes, they did. Then he added with a smile, “He is like big brother to you.”
> 
> But the moment the word left his mouth the smile from her face disappeared.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a while. I was trying to get it out, I knew what I want to write but couldn't. two nights ago inspiration hit and I finally finished the chapter.
> 
> **I remember you guys asking me why did I make Nate so tolerable, lol. I hate writing OCs, esp if they come as romantic interest for reylo, that's why I wrote one of the characters from my own original story into it. His name is James in my story.**
> 
> Anyway you'd get the first back story from Rey pov in this chapter.

 

* * *

 

 

The year Ben was away was one of the saddest years of Rey's little life. He would send in postcards from every city he went to. It was silly because no one sent postcards anymore. But he did. He'd also call her and tell her all about his adventures. It was his first birthday since she came to D’Qar they didn't celebrate together.

 

It was their tradition to go stargazing on his birthday. Even though it was the middle of winter. They usually packed up hot chocolate in flasks, heavy blankets and his telescope. And drive to the edge of the town and gaze at the milky way. The sky usually stayed clear and during the drive back Rey always fall asleep wrapped in a blanket and Ben would carry her to bed.

 

But this year they couldn't do it because he was away to some monastery. It was the same one Luke went to when he was younger. He didn't even have internet access so they haven't talked in weeks.

 

Rey went to the cliff side behind her house that evening, sulking about not having Ben there. She could see the stars from there but it wasn't as bright. Then suddenly she received a call on her phone. She pulled it out of her jeans pocket to see Ben’s face popping on her screen. She hurriedly answered the phone.

 

“Hey sweetheart.” Ben spoke with the bright smile on his face. The image of the call was a little distorted and his voice was cracking.

 

“Ben! Happy birthday!” Rey exclaimed.

 

“Thank you. I know it's late but I finally got a signal.” He said.

 

“But how?” Rey asked. She felt her eyes watering up, she missed him so much.

 

“I missed you too, sweetheart.” He said as if he could read her mind. Rey hastily wiped the tears and laughed.

 

“You should have been here. It's our tradition.” She said.

 

“I know. But it's before dawn here and I can see the stars. And I'm sure you are out on the cliff edge. So we are technically looking at the same stars.” He smiled.

 

“Yeah you are technically right.” Rey said. “How is the monastery?”

 

“Sparse, quiet, peaceful. I'm glad I came here.” Ben said. And he did sound calm. Rey was glad it was helping him.

 

“I'm happy for you.” She said. “But come home soon, okay?” Rey knew she was sounding childish, but still. Besides, she was a child and she missed her best friend.

 

His voice was breaking up and Rey knew he'd have to hang up. So she told him she was worried and to take care.

 

That was the only birthday they had spent apart. Ben returned next summer before her birthday.

 

It was the last day of school before summer and Rey was over the moon all day because Ben was returning. He was supposed to come to the school to pick her up. When the last bell rang, Rey rushed out of one of her advance placement class. It was an extra period after hours so the halls were empty except for a few people.

 

Rey was walking down the hallway and saw Ben. She rushed to him throwing her arms around his neck and Ben spinned her like old times before setting her back down on her feet.

 

“How are you kiddo?” Ben asked ruffling her hair.

 

Rey ducked away, “Better now that you are here and summer has officially started.” She heard one of her classmates call her and she told Ben she'd be right back.

 

She was gone for a few minutes but when she got back, she found Ben standing on the same spot, his back turned to her. As she approached him she noticed his shoulders were tense and he was breathing unusually. His hands were into tight balls on his sides. Rey walked up to him and he was looking at a distance as if rooted to the spot.

 

Rey followed his line of sight to find the object if his discomfort. One of the teachers, Snoke who taught physics was walking towards him with a creepy smile on his face and Ben seemed to have frozen in fear. She connected the dots. Ben told her never to take his classes and from the look of it there was a grave reason behind it.

 

Rey quickly realized Ben was in fact having a panic attack right that moment. So she tried to snap him out. She shook Ben and when he didn't budge she slapped him across his face. Ben exclaimed and took a step back. By the time he was moving Snoke reached them.

 

He addressed Ben, in his weird snake like voice. Ben seemed to have lost his voice. So Rey stepped in front of him. It must have looked comical, to try and shield a boy who was 6 feet 3 inches tall, from his abuser. But Rey was tall for her 13 years of age. She glared at Snoke.

 

“Ben isn't a student. So he doesn't require to listen to your commands anymore, Mr Snoke. You have no business talking to him. So please excuse us, we are leaving.” Rey barked at the shriveled man and pulled Ben out of there. Snoke didn't expect her to be so forceful and he was taken aback long enough for Rey to pull Ben away.

 

Once in the car Ben broke down and Rey held him. She didn't want to think about his history with Snoke. But from the state Ben was in after the encounter it must have been traumatizing and Rey was determined to keep Ben away from the creep.

 

She let him cry it out and held him as he rides out the aftereffect of his anxiety attack.

 

Ever since, Ben had several attacks while she was around and they've developed a system. Rey took care of Ben. And she worried when he had to return to school.

 

The years following his return Ben was a changed person. He was no longer a boy, but a young man. And Rey didn't fail to notice that. He wasn't awkward boy with limbs too big for his body, he'd grown into his features and grew couple of inches taller.

 

She never asked about his social life. Because Rey knew it wasn't his favorite topic.

Rey was a teenager by then and could see Ben had turned into an attractive young man who commanded attention from people. But she never thought about it much. He never seemed particularly proud of it. So Rey never brought it up.

 

Years had passed, and in the meantime Rey had grown as well. Then a year ago she joined him in the campus and ever since they have been together.

 

* * *

 

Nate left to go to the washroom so Rey took her phone out to call Ben. He made her promise she'd call him when she got here.

 

Nate returned. He called the server, started ordering. The server asked if he'd start them with some drinks. Rey politely declined. She wasn't going to drink on her first date.

 

“Okay Ben. I will let you know. When I'm done.” Then she added in a hushed voice, she didn't want Nate to listen in her private conversation “Did you have dinner yet?”

 

She made him dinner earlier. And put it in the fridge with a note.

 

He laughed. He was at the gym, and promised he'd eat as soon as he got back to the apartment. Ben asked her to call him if she needed a ride back. And honestly Rey would prefer that. Ride back after the date with Nate might be awkward and Rey’d like to avoid that.

 

“I will let you know if I need a ride home.” Rey said before hanging up.

 

“Who was that?” Nate asked, returning the menu back to the server, who promptly excused himself.

 

“Just Ben. He worries.”  Rey told him.

 

“It seemed like you worry too. Did you really just asked him to eat dinner?”

 

“Yeah he has an important project due and he usually gets too caught up and forgets to eat. So I make sure he does eat on time.”

 

“You two really do care about each other.” Nate said, and Rey smiles at him. Yes, they did. Then he added with a smile, “He is like big brother to you.”

 

But the moment the word left his mouth the smile from her face disappeared. Rey was left gaping at him as Nate went on about asking for Ben’s permission, if he wanted to take her on a second date. But Rey wasn't listening.

 

Her ears were ringing. No one ever called Ben her brother. But wouldn't that make sense? They were almost like family and so close. Anyone looking from outside might assume that as well. But they weren't. She never saw Ben as her brother. Is that how they come off as?

 

More importantly did Ben think of her as a sister?

 

Rey stood up. The chair scrapped on the floor as it was pushed back and the table moved, making things rattle. Nate was looking at her with wide eyes full of concern. But Rey couldn't breathe or offer a response. She felt like the walls were closing in on her. And she was feeling nauseated. She needed to get some space. Needed to breathe.

 

She distantly heard Nate say, “Are you okay?”

 

Rey hastily excused herself and rushed towards the washroom.

 

Once in the washroom, she locked the door and tried to catch her breath. She started counting back from ten thousand and after a while her breathing became even. She splashed water on her face, totally forgetting about the make up. Then she ran her wet hand on her side and back to her neck.

 

When she felt cooled down she finally looked up and met her eyes on the mirror. A pair of hazel eyes looked back at her. It was no longer the eyes of a 7 year old or that of a teenager. The person who was staring back was a grown woman. She wasn't a little girl anymore. Not the one he left behind to go travel around the world. No she was all grown up. She was the one he promised to take around the world. Rey grew up while Ben was off seeing the world or chasing achievements.

 

She knew that now. But she was just worried if Ben was aware of that. Or was she still the little sad girl who lost her parents and was angry at the whole world, to him.

 

Did he see her as a sister? And why does the thought bother her so much? She was out on a date, she should be concentrating on Nate. But instead she was having a minor panic attack at the thought of her childhood best friend thinking she was like his sister.

 

She closed her eyes and saw a flash of bright brown eyes and shock of dark hair. Silky and soft to touch. Just imagining it made her want run her finger through his thick locks. And how his eyes rolled back when she carded her fingers through his hair.

 

Someone knocked on the door and it snapped her out of her reverie. She wiped her face with a paper towel and stormed out of the room. She couldn't meet her own eyes any more. They were full of questions that might unravel her.

 

Nate was waiting for her with a look of concern on his face. And when she looked into his eyes she also felt guilty. He was a great guy. But Rey realized, those blue eyes aren't the one she longed. When she looked at his hair, they weren't the shade of brown that looked almost black. Or his smile that was too perfect and not the crooked one that had been making her heart beat faster.

 

Now she realized every time someone asked her about Ben or tried to chat him up in front of her, why she got annoyed. She felt a fierce need to do something to pry him away. Not that Ben was ever interested. And ever since she came to Coruscant Rey hadn't seen him going on a date or bringing someone over. It could have been something else or Ben was being considerate because she was there. But the sudden feeling of possessiveness and a tinge of hope made her think maybe he didn't want to.

 

But what if it wasn't about her. What if he did see her as his sister. The thought felt like twisting a knife through her heart. She couldn't bear to think about it.

 

She was so lost to her thoughts she didn't even notice the food has arrived. Nate touched her hand and Rey jerked away, coming out of her trance.

 

Nate looked alarmed but Rey had lost her appetite. She needed to see Ben. She couldn't concentrate on her date. And quickly shot out a text to Ben.

 

There was an instant reply. He was coming and Rey never felt the anticipation she was feeling at the very moment ever in her life. She wondered if it would feel different. God she loved Ben she knew that, but she was attracted to him and possibly had feelings for him. The thought scared her but it also excited her.

 

She told Nate she wasn't feeling well and they have to cut the dinner short. Nate was disappointed but acquiesced. They made payment and walked out of the restaurant.

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rey finally had an epiphany. Let's wait and see how Ben is faring, when he returns in the next chapter.
> 
> Hope you liked the chapter. Please let me know your thoughts in the comments. They really help :)


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Ben you know I don’t like sleeping in new beds.” She whined.
> 
> “But Rey, if you don’t sleep in your bed it would never not be a new bed.” Ben countered.
> 
> “Ugh…” She huffed, “Then why don’t you sleep there and make it sleeped in like this one.” She Added lying back on the bed, body melting into his mattress, and making exaggerated noise of comfort.
> 
> Ben groaned, throwing the covers aside, getting out of the bed, taking his pillow, putting his laptop down, and walking out of his room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay another chapter. This is pretty raw for me, emotionally.
> 
> Thank you again for all the comments and encouragements in the last chapter. I hope you enjoy this one

* * *

 

All he could think while he drove was what Rey must be doing. Laughing, talking, flirting with the boy. The perfect boy. He would be good for her. Ben kept trying to convince himself but it wasn't working. Beside he didn't know why he was trying in the first place. He felt so mad. And he didn't understand why?

 

He pulled over to the side and slams his fist on the steering wheel in frustration. He thought about when he was her age. Tried to remember what he did.

 

He had only returned from traveling. The summer was over too soon and Ben wasn't looking forward to going back to college where people tend to ignore him. But this time when he went back it was different. People paid attention to him. He had changed over the course of one year. The physical training at the monastery and various job he did during his travel made him stronger. He gained muscles and his body grew into his features. And that got him a lot of attention once we got back.

 

Ben didn't know which was worse. Being ignored or his newfound fame. Because all of a sudden people started asking him to join their study groups, or join them for drinks or hang out. They were asking him out. Ben didn't know what to do with that.

 

It was the normal thing to do. To join them to “live a little”. But it felt weird. He went on dates. But could never feel attracted to someone enough to be truly interested. He wondered what was wrong with him. He tried to fight it, he tried to go with the flow. But nothing seem to work.

 

He went out with a fair amount of people. Thinking he might find someone that could change his perpetual state of disconnection.  But it never seemed to work. It was all physical and felt forced. Always leaving him with bitter disappointment and disgust. That led to self-loathing and self-harm.

 

Ben didn't know why his feelings were so erratic and extreme. He tried to get help but it didn't work. It never really helped.

 

After a while he stopped fighting. He went with the flow and that led to more disappointing experiences. All under heavy influence of alcohol and substance. They left him feeling hollowed on the inside. But life went on. And after a while he realized he couldn't keep doing that to himself.

 

He felt calmer and more centered during summer when he left campus and everything else behind. Ben realized the only person he could or would want to talk about it with, was Rey. But it felt odd because even though she was a very intuitive teenager and mature for her age, it just didn't feel right. But sadly she was the only one he could open up to. They did talk about other stuffs but he left behind the parts about social disconnect. Although he had a feeling his friend could still feel it.

 

As Rey grew older he could have more open conversation with her about life and his mental health issues. She helped him immensely to focus. And had a way to calm him down. Ever since the day with Snoke at the school he realized Rey could help him fight his panic attacks. And over the year she got better at it. That's why the first person he'd call was her.

 

Being near uncle Luke helped too. They'd meditate together to centre themselves every week. It gave him a little reprieve. The social anxiety and the attention started feeling like a choke hold to him. But that didn't stop people from pursuing. And that in turn made Ben more distant and frustrated.

 

Then a year ago Rey started university and joined him on campus. She became his home and refuge. And Ben never felt so at peace ever in his life.

 

But Ben knew he couldn't monopolize her time. And Rey needed to experience her life without him having to intrude on it. She needed to learn from her mistakes. Although an irrational part of his mind wanted to shield her from it all. But he knew she'd have it different. She was better than him in more ways than he could count on. And deserved so much better.

 

It felt wrong though. He knew that now. And it was making him mad and irritated. The thought of her with that boy or anyone filled him with rage. It was a selfish notion and Ben was aware of it. But he couldn't help feeling it.

 

Ben remembered the day Rey moved in. He was probably the happiest person on campus. They'd been making preparation for a month. The room remained empty for the last 5 years. They went shopping together and got her a new bed, desk, shelves, lamps. Then they finally got everything moved. And the night before Rey came in, Ben made sure everything was perfect.

 

But on her first night at the apartment Rey came to his room complaining about her new bed. Ben was just sitting on his bed, working on his laptop before going to sleep. She burst into his room in her pjs startling him. She dropped on his bed face down, grumbling into the beddings.

 

Ben took off his glasses, shaking his head, then placing his hand on the back of her head.

 

“What happened now?” he asked.

 

“I hate my bed.” Rey muttered, face still buried.

 

Ben laughed. “You don’t. You picked it yourself, remember?” They spent almost an hour and half picking the right mattress.

 

“But I do. I hate it, I can’t sleep in it.” Rey flopped on her back, looking up at the ceiling now.

 

Ben still had his hand on her head, so he started running his finger through her soft hair.

“So, what can I do now?” Ben asked, knowing her dramatics had a reason, more precisely a demand behind it.

 

“Your bed is perfect. Can I sleep here?” She asked, rolling on her belly, rising up on her elbows, making pleading eyes at him.

 

Ben rolled his eyes. He quite enjoyed sleeping alone in his king size bed and didn’t want to share it. But knowing her, he’d probably end up doing exactly what she wanted.

 

“Ben you know I don’t like sleeping in new beds.” She whined.

 

“But Rey, if you don’t sleep in your bed it would never not be a new bed.” Ben countered.

 

“Ugh…” She huffed, “Then why don’t you sleep there and make it sleeped in like this one.” She Added lying back on the bed, body melting into his mattress, and making exaggerated noise of comfort.

 

Ben groaned, throwing the covers aside, getting out of the bed, taking his pillow, putting his laptop down, and walking out of his room.

 

He went to her room and took in the new queen size bed. Shaking his head, Ben climbed into the bed and turned off the light hoping sleep would come early.

 

In the middle of the night Ben woke up from his sleep. There was movement on the bed, and he felt his cover being lifted and something soft and small slid under it. Rey nudged his arms up, and crawled into his chest, burying her face in his neck.

 

“What happened now?” Ben grumbled into her hair, they were tickling his nose.

 

“Couldn’t sleep alone.” She mumbled.

 

Ben snorted, “Yeah? After kicking me out of my own bed?”

 

“I did no such thing!” She protested, trying to wiggle away, ready to fight again. But Ben held her tight. Pulling her even closer.

 

“Shh. I need to sleep, and so do you.” he told her.

 

After spending the first few weeks like that, Ben finally managed to make her sleep in her bed alone. But every once in awhile she’d end up in his bed, in the middle of the night.

  


The months that followed was amazing. Ben didn't feel like doing the obligatory socializing young man his age needed to do. It was a nuisance anyway. He started his doctoral degree and had very little time apart from study, projects, and his TA duties. He was also part of a research project for his uncle. He had no time for anything else. Any free time he'd got he spent with Rey. Either tutoring her or just hanging out with her. They would come home around the same time and study together.

 

Although the first couple of months took a lot of adjustments. Ben had severe case of OCD. He had been living alone for almost seven years now. And he liked doing things a certain way. But sharing his space with another person proved to be a little harder than he anticipated.

 

For example Ben liked the dishes done in his own way, but Rey would do it completely different. And it would make him mad and they’d end up fighting. It was strange to fight over mundane everyday things. But she would get mad after the fight and one of them would end up storming out. But no matter who stormed out, Ben would have to be the one to apologize and make up.

 

But no matter the fights and the arguments, Ben never felt so content with his life as he did in the last one year. And It was all because of Rey. His guiding light, his north star.

 

Having Rey around was like being responsible for another person. And Ben was not used to that. He barely could care for himself. But all of sudden he was responsible for caring for Rey as well. And that meant worrying about her when she was late and making sure she was up in the morning for her class.

 

Everything in his life was planned and Ben liked to follow the structure he made for himself. But Rey turned his life upside down. She was always so spontaneous. But even though it disrupted his routine, Ben couldn’t bring himself to be annoyed by it. More often than not he ended up indulging her whims.

 

Being responsible for her was a fulltime job. The girl worked extra hard for whatever she did. And was always there to help whoever asked something of her. And that will leave her exhausted, because she’d take more load than her slight body could handle. She also tend to fall asleep anywhere. It was up to him to find her.

 

One night Ben returned from the lab late and found Rey wasn’t home. He called her phone and it was switched off. Ben panicked, he was almost out of the door going to look for her when his phone ran and the night librarian, one of his batch mate from sophomore year called him on his phone.

 

“Hey, I was wondering if you could pick Rey up, I want to lock the library for the night.” the librarian told Ben.

 

“She is there?” Ben asked, a breath of relief leaving his lungs.

 

When he got to the library, he found her passed out on a table over her books. Shaking his head, Ben shouldered her bag and picked her up in his arms and carried her to the car. He drove her home and put her to bed.

 

Ben was used to carrying her to bed, but didn’t realize he’d have to do the same in college as well. Not that he mind, taking care of her became one of his routine as well. And having her around meant answering to her too. It wasn’t only Ben who took care of her, Rey took care of Ben as well. And over the course of one year, they became more dependent on each other, but neither Ben or Rey saw it as a bad thing.

 

But now as he drove around, with a storm raging inside him, Ben couldn’t help but feel dread at the thought of not being able to do that. If Rey was with someone else, he’d have to share her with that person, and he didn’t know if he was willing to do that. To share her, her time and love with someone else was unthinkable. And to see her in another person’s arm-

 

Ben stepped on the brake making a hard stop. His skin was crawling at the thought of Nate or anyone else touching her. His breathing got harsher, and his heart was beating erratically. He couldn’t feel the bitter edge of impending panic attack creeping into his senses. He needed to see her. He needed Rey, only she could calm him down.

 

He jerkily started up the car, turning it to towards the direction he knew Rey was in at that very moment.

 

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is what Ben has been up to....
> 
> Please let me know your thought on the chapter. Thank you for reading.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Their eyes met from across the street and Rey felt a shiver running down her spine. It was like the universe realigned and an invisible thread just untangled and became taut. Rey felt a pull that was hard to ignore and impossible to fight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter. This turned into my comfort writing. I try to write at least a paragraph or two when I come home at night. I find writing this fic therapeutic, it calm me down. 
> 
> So glad you guys are finding this one entertaining. Thank you for all your encouragement and support.

* * *

 

As they walked out of the restaurant Rey couldn't concentrate on what Nate was saying. She looking at her phone checking for a text from Ben. But he didn't text her back. It was unlike him to forget to text her back. But she wonders if he fell asleep. That was also unlike Ben. He never went to sleep before she came home.

 

Nate was asking about her schedule for the following week and she honestly didn't have the patience to sit through another of this date. But she didn't have the heart to say no, nor was she in any mental state to think much about it.

 

When she walked out, she didn't know what she'd tell him if he offered to take her home. He drove her there, and she was so certain Ben will come to pick her up she didn't even consider a way back. Now she was worried because she didn't want to share an awkward ride back with him after this disastrous date.

 

Although Nate didn't seem to share her sentiments. He genuinely believed she wasn't feeling well. And thought she will reschedule. He was asking her if it was the food that she didn't like. But Rey's mind was racing. Just the thought of Ben being outside waiting for her was strangely exciting and also terrifying. She wondered if it would be different or would it be the same and she was just being too dramatic.

 

That's when Nate opened the door and she stepped out in the cool November air outside. Her eyes fell on the car parked right across the street from the restaurant. It was the car she'd recognize anywhere. The falcon was parked on the other side of the street and leaning against it in just a thin hoodie and his sweats was Ben.

 

Their eyes met from across the street and Rey felt a shiver running down her spine. It was like the universe realigned and an invisible thread just untangled and became taut. Rey felt a pull that was hard to ignore and impossible to fight.

 

He stood up straight, his folded arms falling on his sides. There was a strange look in his eyes that Rey wasn't familiar with, and she knew all his expression like the back of her hand. But there was something different about the way he was looking at her. And Rey couldn't wait to come closer to investigate.

 

She bid Nate a hurried goodbye and ran across the street to her best friend. Ben took a step forward and Rey ran straight to his chest. It wasn't anything new, she had done it a thousand times but tonight it felt oddly new, like it finally made sense.

 

She buried her face into his chest breathing him in. He smelled like his body wash, pine and lemon. A smell she associate with comfort, safety, and home. It was his smell, it was Ben. He was home.

 

* * *

 

Ben pulled up in front of the restaurant. He was having trouble breathing. He opened his windows and a gush of cool air hit his face. It was refreshing.  Especially because he was feeling so claustrophobic.

 

He needed to get out of the car. So he rushed to open the door and got out. The night air made him shiver but after a minute he got used to it. In his haste he forgot to take his jacket but it didn't really matter. He looked at the restaurant. One could see inside through the glass windows. People were having dinner, and chatting, servers going around from table to table. But he couldn't see Rey.

 

There was a storm raging inside him. He was on the precipice of a panic attack and he knew it. He took his medicines earlier today but he knew the slight dosage couldn't help his nerves tonight. His heart was beating out of his chest and he was feeling restless.

 

Ben started to pace. His fist clenching and unclenching as he walked back and forth beside the car. Every few second he would stop and look at the entrance of the restaurant, wondering if she was out. But she wasn't.

 

He tried to figure out what might help. Rey. She knew how to calm him down. It felt wrong to put this on her when she was out but Ben couldn't help it. Besides, she was the reason behind it anyway. He wondered if seeing her safe and well might make him feel better. Maybe. Maybe that's all he needed, reassurance. But deep down he knew it's not just her safety that pushed him to the verge of a breakdown.

 

That's when they walked out. And as soon as she stepped out her gaze fell on him. Their eyes met across the street and Ben felt his chest squeeze. There was a funny little warmth in his belly and he couldn't quite make sense of any of it.

 

Then he saw her drag her glance away from him to the boy. The perfect boy and he felt red hot anger course through his veins. Ben didn't need to figure this feeling out. He was well aware of the feeling of anger. And he knew no matter how good Nate was Ben didn't like the boy, more importantly he didn't like him near Rey.

 

He was so caught up in his contempt he missed the interaction between the boy and Rey. Next thing he knew she was running towards him with big smile on her face. The smile made his heart clench. She ran right across, Ben thanked his stars the street was empty. He took a step forward as Rey ran straight into his arms.

 

The moment they embraced Ben felt his trepidation dissolve and his anger disappear. She had embraced him like that a thousand times before but tonight it felt different somehow. As if this was where she belonged, in his arms, near his chest.

 

He buried his face in her hair and breathes her in, she smelled like sunshine and lavender, a smell he associated with home. She was his home.

 

“Are you okay sweetheart?” Ben asked lightly squeezing her shoulders.

 

“You didn't reply to my text. I didn't know if you were coming?” She replied face still buried in his chest. Ben suddenly remembered he forgot to grab his phone in his haste.

 

“I told you I'll pick you up.” he told her but could feel something was up. So he probed on, “Is everything okay?”

 

Ben looked across the street, where the boy was still standing waiting from his car. He was on the phone he looked up at Ben and waved. Furrowing his brows Ben nodded an affirmation. Everything with him seemed okay.

 

He could feel her arms around his torso tightening. So he started rubbing soothing circles on her back. Rey shuddered and Ben pulled her even closer. “You are cold. Let's get you inside.”

 

Rey pulled back nodding. She didn't looked up to meet his gaze, Ben found it odd but didn't press on. He opened the door for her and walked around and got in. Ben started up the car and headed towards home.

 

* * *

 

The ride back Rey was uncharacteristically quiet. Ben turned his head to look at her several times but she was staring out of the window looking at the stars. He took his right hand off the wheel and touched the side of her face. Rey jumped at his touch, surprised, Ben pulled back.

 

“Didn't mean to startle you.” He apologized looking up ahead.

 

“It's okay,” Rey grabbed his hand and pulled it to her lap.

 

Ben took a breath of relief. He was having a hard time making sense of her reactions. She seemed fine earlier when she left home. Then again he couldn't make sense of his own emotions either. He just knew something inside him wasn't happy about this activity. Which might be ridiculous, wasn't his life ridiculous most of the time? When did it ever really make sense to people.

 

Well maybe when she walked back in. His life made sense. Living with her, taking care of her, loving her made sense. Being looked after by her, listening to her, scolded by her, that gave his days a purpose.

 

She grabbed his hand Ben in turn squeezed her knee. And she jumped again. Feeling her reaction he tried to pull away but Rey held still.

 

“Something spooked you.” Ben observes, never taking his eyes of the road. “Is it..” He  paused, “Is it the boy?” Ben asked under his breath.

 

“No he was okay.” Rey answered, then added “I just wasn't into it tonight.”

 

Tonight. Ben repeated that in his head. “So you are seeing him again?”

 

“I don't know.” Rey answered. “Is it weird it felt like a task?”

 

This time Ben turned to look at her. She looked puzzled and in that moment she had the same look he saw when he looked at the mirror.

 

“It's not weird. You don't need to do something you don't like just because people expect you to.” Ben told her. And he hoped someone had told him that when he was her age, he would have avoided a lot of awkward encounters if someone did.

 

“Hmm.” She hummed before turning to look out of the window.

 

* * *

 

Ben locked the door of the apartment behind him. Rey walked ahead, standing on one foot as she tried to loosen her straps to take the heels off. Ben steadied her holding her waist as she leaned on him, placing her hand on his shoulder.

 

She stepped out of the shoes, gathering them she walked to her room. Ben stared after her. She didn't shut her door. Sighing he gathered his laptop and went to his own room.

 

Deciding to go to bed he pulled on his sleeping shirt and loose PJs. Ben sat on the edge of his bed with his head on his hands, elbows bracing on his knees.

 

After a moment he felt his mattress dip. She moved right behind him and pressed her forehead in his back. Her arms encircling his torso.

 

Ben grabbed her hand over his chest.

 

“I don't wanna sleep alone.” She mumbled into his back.

 

Ben brought her hand to his lips and kissed it.

 

“It's okay. You can sleep here.” Ben told her turning his neck.

 

She pulled away and Ben turned around.

 

She was wearing one of her large sleeping shirts. Actually it was one of his old shirts she took out from his closet months ago. It isn't large, it's just large on her.

 

She lied down with her back to him. And Ben pulled the covers on her as he lied on his side. It wasn't unusual for her to sleep in his bed but it felt a little different somehow tonight.

 

“Hold me?” She asked in a sleepy voice.

 

And Ben did, he pulled her closer so her back was against her chest. Ben breath into her hair, she always smelled so good. Rey melted into his chest.

 

“Are you sure you are okay?” Ben asked lightly one last time, craning his head, looking down at her.

 

She had her eyes closed. But she whispered regardless, her lips turning up slightly, “I will be.”

 

* * *

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ben still needs to figure his feelings out, or do you think he did, he just doesn't know what to call it? But Rey did. Let's see where they go from here.... any predictions or headcanons?
> 
> Please let me know your thoughts in the comments. Your comment and feedbacks really help. :-)


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey woke up with her face buried in his neck, lips pressed against his pulse point. She had the strongest urge to open her mouth and taste his skin, suck on that steady pulse. His chin was resting on her shoulder and she felt his beard poking her skin.
> 
> Then she notice another thing that was different than usual. Rey woke up snuggled into his chest many times but this morning it did not only feel different, it was different. His hands were cupping her ass cheeks. 
> 
> Rey blushed. That never happened.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's a new day, a new dawn for Rey and Ben.

 

* * *

 

Rey woke up with her face buried in his neck, lips pressed against his pulse point. She had the strongest urge to open her mouth and taste his skin, suck on that steady pulse. His chin was resting on her shoulder and she felt his beard poking her skin.

 

Then she notice another thing that was different than usual. Rey woke up snuggled into his chest many times but this morning it did not only feel different, it was different. His hands were cupping her ass cheeks. 

 

Rey blushed.  _ That never happened. _

 

Her shirt had ridden up in her sleep, exposing her belly. So she snuggled in closer, needing to feel his skin. And as if on instinct Ben pulled her closer, squeezing her butt cheeks in the process.

 

Rey thought she could get used to waking up like this.

  
  


And.  _ What's that?  _ Nestled between their body, pressed against her lower belly, something warm and hard.  _ Oh.  _ Realization dawned to her and she opened her eyes wide.

 

_ That definitely never happened. _ Rey thought. Just the idea of his body reacting to her like that made heat pooling in her belly. Rey closed her eyes once again just feeling his heart beating against her chest.

 

Ben finally moved. His hips bucked against her belly once as he nuzzled into her shoulder and neck. He groaned a little just holding her closer.

 

But when he finally woke up, Rey felt it instantly. His whole body went stiff. And he let go of her ass instantly, pulling away slightly, looking down at her with bleary eyes.

 

Rey knew he'd freak out; it hurt a little but she understood. She touched his chin and smiled, “You need a shave, Ben.” Rey knew she'd have to defuse the tension so he didn't freak out.

 

Rey felt him calm down under her touch, he closed his eyes and turned his face in her hand.

 

“I do.” He agreed, “Good morning.” He said, pulling away and sitting up.

 

In one swift movement he was up and heading for the washroom. Rey knew he felt embarrassed about his hard on but that just made her blush. She buried her face in his pillow, taking in his scent.

 

Everything felt new after the realization. She was attracted to Ben and it wasn't just physical. She didn't know how Ben felt, but she wanted to find out.

 

* * *

 

Ben rushed to his bathroom, locking the door behind him. He could still feel her warmth on his palms. The soft swell of her ass. His cock gave an involuntary twitch and he looked down at the raging hard on he woke up with. That was new. He never woke up with an involuntary erection after his teenage years. That was just biology and Ben knew it. But this was different.

 

When something like this happened Ben always felt uncomfortable and then disgusted. But this morning it didn't feel weird or gross. It just felt, Ben didn't know how to describe it. But whatever it was he shouldn't have a hard on with Rey in his bed. She was so upset last night she really didn't need these kind of things. And he was her safe place. It was wrong. Yet it somehow felt right. And Ben didn't know what to make of it.

 

He stepped into the shower and set the dial to cold. He needed to get rid of  _ that _ . And a cold shower would do just that.

 

* * *

 

Ben walked out of the his washroom with a towel wrapped around his waist. He found Rey still lying in his bed, looking at her phone. He walked to his closet and started taking out clothes. Back turned to her he could feel Rey's eyes on him. He felt a shudder run down his spine at the prospect and that was odd. He went about his business as usual, sitting down on his bed and started pulling on clothes.

 

* * *

 

When he walked, the muscles on his back moved in a rhythm. It was hypnotic and Rey couldn't help but follow his movement with her eyes. 

 

Rey realized what girls mean by getting turned on by watching someone. She previously found it absurd and ridiculous but it made sense now. It was right in front of her. Rey knew sooner or later she'd see it too... she just didn't realize she'd see it in her best friend.

 

Ben sat down, she felt the mattress dip under his weight. He started pulling on his pants. Ben changed in front of her many times, they shared an apartment and sometimes the same room for a year now. She had seen him half naked on many occasions but she'd never really noticed.

 

She felt like kissing his back, the arch of his neck before pulling him back to bed. But she shouldn't, not without knowing how he'd feel about it. She didn't want him to freak out and she knew he would.

 

“Are you feeling well?” Ben asked in a low voice. He sounded unsure of something.

 

“Never been better,” Rey answered sitting up. And it was true. She never really did feel quite the same. It was exciting and frightening at the same time.

 

He turned around to meet her gaze. “You didn't look well last night. I could tell. Did something happen at the-" he paused gulping, as if it was hard for him to say it. “At the date.”

 

“No. The date was fine,” Rey said, getting up from bed, pulling her hair up in a bun as she walked around the bed to stand beside him.

 

“Oh,” Ben said, sounding disappointed.

 

Rey narrowed her eyes, “Well it wasn't really fine, we had to cut it short.”

 

“Why?” He asked looking up at her.

 

“Umm. I wasn't feeling it. You know. Nate is great but I don't know. I think he wants a relationship but I couldn't feel a connection,” Rey said, waving her hands in front of her. “I mean there is no point in wasting our time?”

 

“You don't what a relationship?” Ben asked, he sounded curious.

 

“Only if I find someone I can feel a connection with.”

 

“Oh.” Ben nodded, looking down at his hand. Rey was observing his reaction. She decided to push it and see if he reacts any differently.

 

“I mean if it's just sex...” Rey started.

 

Ben's head whipped up, looking at her with wide eyes. Rey bit her lips to stop herself from laughing.

 

“S-sex?” Ben asked, gulping.

 

“Yeah it's okay if we just want meaningless sex, I mean Nate is very attractive,” Rey explained with a nonchalant tone.

 

“And you are interested in that?” Ben asked, he looked very uncomfortable having this conversation.

 

“I don't know, I never had it before,” Rey shrugged.

 

“What?” Ben asked, looking confused.

 

“Sex. I never had it before.” Rey kept rambling, “So I don't know if I want just meaningless sex. I should try. What do you think?”

 

Ben stood up. He looked like he had enough.

 

“I have to go,” He said abruptly, choosing to ignore the question, “I have class.” 

 

“It's Saturday.” 

 

“-Work, I have class work, I need to go to the lab,” Ben tried to explain. He wasn't making any sense.

 

He brushed past her, pulling on a shirt and stepping out of the room, before Rey could ask him any more questions.

 

Rey shook her head at his behavior. He was bothered by the whole conversation, even if he tried not to show it. Now what exactly bothered him, she needed to figure out. There was something there to investigate. And Rey was looking forward to it.

 

* * *

 

Ben almost ran out of the apartment. The cold air hitting his face that felt unusually warm, he knew it was red. The thought of Rey having sex was hard to wrap his head around. 

 

It was too much information. He didn't need to know.

 

But the problem was, he wasn't sure if it was true. Because he was curious, but he didn't know if knowing was a good idea.

 

He couldn't stand the idea of her having meaningless sex with that Nate guy, or anyone for that matter. But in any case, the thought of Rey's first experience to be something random and meaningless made him angry. 

 

Because he knew what it's like to have that. And it was not a good experience. Actually it was awful. The first time he tried it, he thought what was the big deal, he just wanted to get it over with. And he could still remember. 

 

Rushing out of the room to the washroom across the hall. And emptying the contents of his stomach into the toilet. He locked the door and heard the girl knocking and asking what's up with him. And all he remembered was a feeling of utter disgust and he just wanted to be left alone.

 

He doesn't remember her name, just the encounter. He swore off sex for a while. It got better with time but it never got easier for Ben.

 

And to think Rey would go through something like that was unthinkable for Ben. But it might not be like that for her. She was quite normal. She wasn't as extreme as Ben and always made friends easily. Maybe it would be different for her. 

 

He wanted what was best for her, and if that's what she wanted, should he be supportive? But Ben wasn't sure how supportive he could be. Just the thought of Rey having sex...

 

A shudder ran down his back. He closed his eyes and could see her face scrunch up in ecstasy, chest heaving. Ben stopped in his track. Blood was already rushing to his cock. He looked down, not believing how his body was reacting. It was so alien for him to react like that. 

 

He couldn't remember his body responding like this for any of his past lovers, if that even happened, ever.

 

Ben didn't know what to make of all this. He took a deep breath willing his body to calm down and tried to center himself. Deciding to visit the dojo, Ben talked towards the parking lot.

 

* * *

 

 

Rey pulled away from the window. Ben paced the street in front of their apartment for almost 10 minutes. Who knew what was going on in that head of his? She tried to go over the conversation they just had. 

 

His reaction was interesting. It made sense he wouldn't want to discuss her sex life. But it wasn't as if he shut her down immediately. He wanted to know, but then it became too much. But what was it that bothered him actually?

 

She was thinking about it when her phone started ringing. It was Finn. 

 

“Hey girl. You didn't text me last night.” Then before she could respond he added, “Well it wouldn't have mattered anyway, as we were drunk as shit.”

 

“You went drinking?” Rey asked.

 

“Well the movie was boring so we got out of there and went to a bar. Then took a taxi home. Jess is still sleeping. We missed you! But enough about us, how was the date with with Handsome Nate?” Finn pressed on.

 

“Well I had to cut it short. Wasn't quite feeling it,” Rey informed him. She braced herself for questions and protests.

 

And as she expected, Finn was upset. He called Jess up then they were both on speaker lecturing her. If she never gave a guy a chance, how would she ever find someone?

 

Rey listened; she knew that was coming but honestly didn't care.

 

“Guys, there is no point in wasting his time. I wasn't interested.” Because I'm into my best friend. She thought in her head, but didn't voice it.

 

“So what are you interested in, Rey?” Jessika asked, she could sense the hint of skepticism in her friend's voice.

 

Rey knew they just wanted to help her and see her happy.

 

“I will let you know when I figure it out,” She told them, looking back at the bed she just shared with Ben. She would need to figure him out first.

 

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you Robyn and Nori for beta reading this chapter.
> 
> Rey is upto no good, and she is determine to figure Ben out, but let's see if Ben comes to admit his feelings to himself first.
> 
> Please let me know your thoughts in the comments, they help me figure the story out, and often time i notice things only after one of you pointed it out. so thank you for all your support.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After finishing his lab work, when he returned home that evening, he couldn't find Rey in the living room or her own room.
> 
>  
> 
> He wondered if she went out see her friends. He was texting her, as he walked into his room. His eyes fell on her curled up in the middle of his bed, wearing one of his hoodies.
> 
>  
> 
> Her books and notepads were scattered on the other side of the bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all your lovely comments, I'm so happy and honestly surprised so many people are resonating with these characters and issues. like i said before, i based this on my experience, and I'm so glad to have found I'm not alone.
> 
> I wanna take this opportunity to thank you guys, and I hope you enjoy the rest of the story.
> 
> Also, Shout outs to my lovely betas, Robyn and Nori.

* * *

 

Ben left his closet doors open and everything was scattered. It was unlike him to leave clothes laying around. He was always very tidy and organized. Rey picked up the towel dropping it in the hamper and she was shutting the door to his closet when she noticed something. It was peeking out of the corner. An ear. She moved the hangers and found his Stitch onesie.

 

She laughed out loud remembering the day she got them the matching set.

 

It was last year around the time she moved in. Rey was in the mall and saw a cozy onesie she absolutely loved. It was a character she adored from an animated movie. Coruscant was colder than D’Qar and Rey was still getting used to the weather change. So when she noticed the cozy onesie, she realized she can wear that at home when she was feeling lazy. 

 

But when she went to counter the salesperson informed her they have an offer on his or her onesies. And she instantly thought of Ben. It would be funny if she could make him wear it. So without another thought she ordered two. One in her size the other in his. 

 

When she got home, she found Ben studying. He looked up and smiled at her.

 

“Wow, you brought the whole shop home. Those bags are bigger than you.” He teased.

 

“Well I got something for you too,” She told him, dropping beside him on the couch.

 

She pulled out her onesie to show him. Ben laughed.

 

“Cute.” 

 

“You haven't see cute yet,” She said pulling out the identical onesie for him.

 

“No,” Ben groaned.

 

“Yes.” She insisted. “Oh come on Ben. It's so comfy. Touch it!”

 

“I will pass,” He said, getting up from the couch collecting his stuffs.

 

“Fine. I will never buy anything for you ever again.” When she saw that didn't have the desired effect, she added, “Don't bother getting me anything ever again either.” She said that before picking up her bags and stomping to her room.

 

She heard Ben call after her, but didn't look back. She put the onesie on and went about her business, making sure to avoid him. She didn't talk to him the rest of the evening. And by the end of the night when she got into bed, Ben knocked at the door. 

 

When she looked up she found Ben at her door wearing the onesie.

 

“Happy?” He asked, he even put the hood on. Rey had to admit he looked hilarious but still very cute. Somehow he was managing to pull it off.

 

Rey got out of bed and walked up to him, and pulled his cheeks.

 

“Oh my god Ben. You look so cute.”

 

“Ouch!” Ben cried.

 

“We match now,” Rey declared.

 

“It's actually very comfortable,” Ben told her.

 

Rey laughed remembering it. She thought of printing a photo of them wearing that and hang it up on the wall. It was a good memory.

 

She was contemplating when she heard the front door bell ringing. Wondering who could it be at this hour Rey checked the peephole.

 

Her mood went sour when she saw who was on the other side. 

 

She rolled her eyes before reluctantly opening the door.

 

“Hux.” Rey said in a flat tone.

 

“Hi Rey. Where is Ben?” he asked.

 

“Ben isn't home. He went to the dojo,” Rey told him. She knew that's where Ben went when he needed to think.

 

“Oh okay. Is he feeling okay? I asked him to meet a couple of us at the cantina last night, to unwind you know, he didn't felt like it,” Hux asked.

 

Rey knew his intentions weren't bad. Hux was a good friend. But she didn't think he was a good friend for Ben. First of all, he didn't understand the first thing about Ben. 

 

“Well it's not really his idea of  _ unwinding _ .” She told him. Surprised at her own tone and how bitchy she sounded. “If he isn't feeling okay, crowded place would just make his anxiety worse. I wouldn't push him in a situation like this.”

 

“Umm. You think so?” Hux asked, now leaning against the threshold. And Rey didn't like his tone. Like he didn't believe her. It sounded patronizing.

 

It's not that she didn't like him, She was grateful Ben had him all these years. He was better than most people around Ben. But Hux unintentionally did aid into Ben's anxiety. With his constant badgering and trying to make Ben seem normal. But Ben wasn't normal. Normal was overrated anyway.

 

“I know so,” Rey clipped. “I know you are just looking out for him. But you don't have to worry anymore.” She gave him a sugary smile and added. “I am here now. No one knows Ben better than me.” 

 

“Okay.” Hux seemed taken aback my her statement.

 

“Anyway. I will tell Ben you dropped by. Bye now.” She shut the door before he could respond.

 

Rey felt better about it. She always wondered why Ben's friendship with Hux bothered her. It wasn't like she didn't like the guy. It's just he put a lot of peer pressure on Ben, always pushing him to do things Rey knew he wasn't very comfortable with. Now Rey knew it might go deeper than that. 

 

She didn't like Hux trying to set Ben up with people. That might also have worked against Hux’s popularity with Rey. And she knew why now. She  _ was _ slightly jealous, Rey admitted to herself. But good thing was she'd never really seen him go out with someone since she moved in. Wondered why was that. She'd have to dig deeper. But she had to say it gave her hope.

 

* * *

 

Ben parked the car then walked to the dojo. It was right outside of campus territory. It was a small one room facility when Ben started at Coruscant. The owner was the only master. Ben already had experience teaching students so he offered to help out. And with his help they could get more students in and now they have the whole ground floor of the complex. And several teachers. Ben still helped out.  But tonight he just wanted to come here to meditate.

 

Ben nodded at the master as he walked to the corner of the meditation hall, where he usually liked to meditate. The master was saying goodbye to a class. And picking up training tools. He usually left Ben alone. He understood the need for solitude and contemplating. And that's exactly what Ben needed. 

 

After 20 minutes of peace and quiet Ben finally felt his body completely relaxing. Then he decided to reflect on his thoughts and his feelings.

 

The first thing that came to his mind was Rey. Her smiling face flashed behind his closed lids. And it made the corners of his mouth twist upwards as well. Ben tried to remember why he felt so lost and confused. And tried to back trace the events. When it all started.

 

When Rey went out on her date? But wasn't he on the edge even before? Rey told him she had a date that evening and Ben didn't know how to react. So he did what was instinctual, he was supportive. But when she actually went away he felt hollow. And then he was having an anxiety attack so he worked himself to a sweat, until his muscles were screaming.

 

The added endorphin from the workout didn't help either. He was upset with her date. Then he watched that scary documentary that pushed him over the edge. He was scared and paranoid for her safety. 

 

But when he researched the boy he saw he was perfect. Too perfect. And instead of that comforting him he felt- he felt threatened. He had to admit to himself that. 

 

The boy seemed right for Rey. And somehow that made him feel inferior. But he shouldn't feel like that. He wasn't in any competition with Rey's suiters. Yet he somehow started feeling insecure about himself and ended up comparing himself with the boy. Which was unnecessary but he still did it. And it made him angry.

 

But like always when he picked her up and as soon as she was in his arms all inner turmoil came to a stop. She seemed upset, that worried him so he let her climb into his bed. She needed comfort and he was more than willing to make her feel better.

 

Although this morning he had another predicament, something he never had before. He always connected Rey with peace and love and home. His home. And Ben knew he loved her even before he understood the meaning of it. But he never gave much thought to it. Because, it was again instinctual to love Rey. It was in his bones. Yet now he is finding his body reacting to her. And that confused him.

 

He could've easily brushed it off as chemicals and hormone. But Ben Solo knew better. More importantly he was honest with himself, and couldn't ignore this. He needed to confront it and find the answer. Only then he could rest.

 

* * *

 

After finishing his lab work, when he returned home that evening, he couldn't find Rey in the living room or her own room.

 

He wondered if she went out see her friends. He was texting her, as he walked into his room. His eyes fell on her curled up in the middle of his bed, wearing one of his hoodies.

 

Her books and notepads were scattered on the other side of the bed. 

 

Ben's eyes moved down her body and he thanked the stars her legs were at least covered. Shaking his head he started picking up her stuff and stacking them on the bedside table. She probably passed out while studying. That happened a lot. So Ben didn't think too much of it and went about to change and get ready for bed too.

 

When he finally got into bed, Ben layed on his back and stared up at the ceiling. She was lying on the middle of his bed, so he was left with relatively smaller space to stretch out. He was still thinking about the revelations he had earlier.

 

“Ben?” Rey croaked out in a sleepy voice, turning her neck around to look at him with half lifted eyes.

 

“Hmm?”

 

“You're home,” She said, turning around. She grabbed his arm and scooted back, pulling him with her. So he wasn't hanging on the edge of the bed anymore

 

Ben was refraining from looking at her face, still staring up at the ceiling.

 

“Where have you been all day?” She asked pressing her face on the bare skin of his bicep. “I waited for you.”

 

He could feel her lips against his skin and felt a shudder run down his spine. His body was definitely responding to her. And Ben didn't know how to place that feeling.

 

But she sounded so sad and he hated it when she sounded like that. More importantly he hated to be the reason for it.

 

Ben pushed his worry down and turned around scooping her up and bringing her to his chest. Her face was now resting against his sternum. And he buried his face in her hair. Taking in her sweet scent.

 

“I'm sorry.” He said into her hair. “I should have called. And shouldn't have rushed out like that.”

 

“No.” She pulled away and her hands coming up as she dips her fingers into his hair, “I shouldn't have mentioned those. It made you uncomfortable.”

 

“What? No!” He cupped her face. He couldn't believe he made her feel like it was her fault. His issues were his, she shouldn't have to feel responsible for them. “Rey, you can tell me anything. I'm sorry how I reacted. I was being stupid. But you can tell me anything, sweetheart.” He kissed her forehead before pulling her to his chest once again.

 

“I love you Ben.” He felt his heart skipping a beat at her words.

 

“I love you too, Rey.” He replied, but he wasn't quite sure if it was only familial love that he was feeling anymore or was it something beyond that.

 

* * *

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uh-oh Not familial love...
> 
> Yeah, he is finally getting there. Maybe force is guiding him. :P flash backs are the theme of the fic so I'm trying to include some every chapter.
> 
> Okay so this is the last chapter before TLJ comes out, see you guys on the other side.
> 
> Please let me know your thoughts in the comments, you know they keep me going.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Stop!” Ben grabbed her arm. “Where is your hat?”
> 
>  
> 
> Rey grumbled under her breath before pulling the fluffy hat out of her pocket, and handed it to him.
> 
>  
> 
> Ben put the hat on her head and pulled the hood up as well.
> 
>  
> 
> “You are not wearing your hood!” Rey protested.
> 
>  
> 
> “And what? Mess up my glorious hair!” he said in mock surprise, before winking down at her.
> 
>  
> 
> Rey slapped his arm. “Jerk.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy holidays everyone !
> 
> I just finished writing it and thanks to my speedy betas the chapter is ready for your Christmas Morning.
> 
> Not very long but includes much needed fluff and gets a little steamy. ;-)

 

* * *

 

 

“Rey!”

 

“I'm coming, she called from inside.” Ben was leaning back on his dad's jeep. He left his car at home and drove his dad's to Rey's house. He checked his watch, it was almost 11 o'clock. He looked up, it was quite chilly but at least the sky was clear.

 

The door opened and Rey rushed out. Old Ben was standing on the threshold, his hands jammed into the pockets of his slacks. He waved at Ben, “Happy early birthday, Ben.”

 

“Thanks, Ben.” the younger man nodded. Rey was wearing her heavy winter jacket but not her hat.

 

“Stop!” Ben grabbed her arm. “Where is your hat?”

 

Rey grumbled under her breath before pulling the fluffy hat out of her pocket, and handed it to him.

 

Ben put the hat on her head and pulled the hood up as well.

 

“You are not wearing your hood!” Rey protested.

 

“And what? Mess up my glorious hair!” he said in mock surprise, before winking down at her.

 

Rey slapped his arm. “Jerk.”

 

“Yeah, come on kid,” he said opening the door for her.

 

They reached the spot ten minutes to 12. Ben started to set up the telescope on the back of the truck. And Rey was pouring them hot cocoa.

 

At 12 AM Rey wished Ben by singing happy birthday and they drank the hot cocoa with extra marshmallows.

 

They stargazed for a while. It was a night of a meteor shower. They played this game where the one who spotted a falling star gets to have a marshmallow. After a while Ben would tell she was getting drowsy. But she didn't want to leave yet. So he waited and soon she passed out with her head on his shoulder.

 

Ben picked her up and took her to back to the car and strapped her in. He packed up their stuffs and started up the car heading back home.

 

Once they were back, Ben took her to her room, making sure he didn't wake Old Ben up at this hour. Rey grumbled in sleep when he put her in bed. Ben felt tired too. He was back home for the holidays now that his finals were done.

 

He turned off her lights and was about to leave when he heard her.

 

“Ben?” Rey croaked in a sleepy voice.

 

“Yes sweetheart?” He asked.

 

“Stay with me. I don't wanna sleep alone.”

 

Ben sighed. It was a regular request. She would oftentimes ask this of him. Rey didn't like to sleep alone. She was very vocal about it. And more often than none when he still lived at home, he'd find her in his room sleeping in his bed when he woke up in the morning. She walked to their house from across the street and and up in his room. Sometimes Ben would carry her back. Sometimes he'd just let her sleep there. It was the nightmares from her childhood that still haunted her. And Ben knew it. That's why he always indulged her request.

 

“Okay. I will stay until you fall asleep,” Ben told her before lying down beside her. She snuggled up on his side. And soon they both drifted off to sleep, the thought of leaving long forgotten.

 

* * *

 

Ben thought he was dreaming. It was a good dream, a happy one. There were colors on the edge of his vision that he thought he'd never seen before. It was like he was floating and surrounded by white clouds. He felt feather light touch against his chest, his shoulder, and his neck.

 

He pulled the cloud closer, hugging it into his chest, breathing it in. It was familiar. He felt at peace. He felt happy.

 

Next thing he remembered, his face was buried on the slope of a slender neck. He nuzzled into the soft skin. Tracing his lips up and then down the bony shoulder. His hand squeezing the smooth flesh. Fingers digging in to find purchase. To hold the being of light close to him. There was a pull from the center of his own being reaching out to the light.

 

He parted his lips and placed an open mouth kiss on the soft skin, and later proceeded on to sucking in the skin, tasting it in his mouth.

 

He heard her moan out his name. And he pulled her even closer.

 

Her fingers were in his hair and it felt heavenly. Maybe he was in heaven, his brain supplied.

 

He slowly opened his eyes and let go of the skin he had his mouth around. Rey groaned in protest at the loss of contact and snuggled further into his chest.

 

He looked down at the redden skin of her neck result of his vicious suction. He rubbed the saliva dry and sighed. He couldn't ignore this anymore and pass it off as chemical reaction. He felt attraction for her and he was certain of that.

 

He still had her in his arms, unwilling to let go. Brushing the hair that fell over her face he looked down at the face he always adored. It was the first thing he saw in the morning and last thing at night. He associated happiness and light with it. It was also the face of unconditional love.

 

But he couldn't deny he also associates this face with beauty and perfection. She was the most beautiful girl in the world to him. And it had always been like that. Thinking back, Ben realized he always tried to find her in others. The right shade of brown with streaks of auburn. Or the green freckles around her pupil.

 

No wonder he never found someone. Because she was one of a kind. There was no one like her. Ben traced her lower lip, they were set in a slight pout. Followed by that small upturned nose that always seemed to have a hint of arrogance in it. But then she smiles and there was that crinkle on the bridge if her nose that was so open and inviting. There was not even a tinge of vanity in her.

 

And her freckles- Ben had a strange urge to kiss every last one of them. He stopped himself by just placing a light kiss on the tip of her nose. Rey smiled and sighed in her sleep. Snuggling even closer.

 

Her hands were under his shirt on his chest. That was her habit, Ben never asked the reason for it. For the warmth, for the skin to skin contact? It never bothered him, even though her hands were almost always cold.

 

She moved and one of her hand travel down around his waist to his back. She ran it up and down his spine and Ben felt a shiver run down his back. She slowly slid her hand down the back of his sweats. Ben almost choked. But she didn't move her hand. She just kept in there.

 

Snuggling her face deeper into his chest. Her hot breath against his skin made his hair stand on the end. _What had he gotten himself into?_ He closed his eyes, hoping sleep would come again.

 

He felt her stir then. She nuzzled her nose along his jaw. Her hand squeezing his butt cheeks which was a strange feeling.

 

He heard her mumbling into his skin, “Ben?”

 

He looked down as she slowly opened up her eyes. They looked more green than brown somehow and Ben was mesmerized by the way they seemed to glow. Her mouth pulled up into a sleepy smile and Ben felt his heart stop for a second.

 

He wanted to wake up with her in his arms like this every morning. Just so he can see this smile. He wanted to be the first name on her lips. Ben knew then that he loved her. It was so easy. The realization hit him and he didn't even fight it this time.

 

She slowly pulled away, to look at him better. Her hand sliding out from under his clothes. Her cheeks were tinged in pink at the realization.

 

“When did you come in last night?” she asked, now getting up. Her hair was loose and she was pulling it up in a bun. Ben followed the movement of her hand and had this strange urge to kiss the back of her neck as she lifted her hair up.

 

He got up on his elbows as she got up from the bed.

 

“Around 12,” he answered feeling guilty.

 

The collar of the sweatshirt she was wearing was hanging from her shoulder exposing her neck, and to his horror the mark he just sucked in. Ben gulped feeling terrified.

 

But she turned around looking in the long mirror on his closet door. She stared at herself for a second. Ben waited with dread. But she had a smile on her lips as she looked away stepping into the bathroom.

 

He let go of the breath he was holding inside him. Then heard her speak from the washroom.

 

“I hope you've got around to finish what you're doing yesterday. Because,” she poked her head around the door. “You are spending the day with me today.”

 

She shut the door behind her. And Ben flopped back on his pillows again. Covering his face in his hands. It's gonna be an interesting day.

 

* * *

 

Rey looked at her neck and bit her lips to stop herself from giggling. Well if he did that in his sleep, it was more than apparent Ben was at least attracted to her. She felt more determined to get to the bottom of this mystery.

 

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so...... that happened. 
> 
> Thank you to everyone who reached out through asks, reviews, comments(!) and pms. I'm really humbled by your love and support for this AU.
> 
> I hope you keep sharing your thoughts with me. It really keeps me motivated. 
> 
> Thanks again. 
> 
> Merry Christmas and may the force be with you and your family.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Now that Rey thought about it, he still did that. Nothing between them had change since that first day he was left in charge of her, Rey mused. Whenever they went somewhere, Ben would always hold her hand. As if he was still worried she'd get lost. Or maybe he took Leia's order to his heart.
> 
> As they got down from the apartment and started walking towards the parking lot, his hands automatically reached for hers. And Rey notice how natural it was for them.
> 
> Ben opened the door for her and let her in then walked around the car to get in himself. For some reason Rey never considered this action before either. She wondered what else did she take for granted? He really did always put her safety, comfort and convenience first. Everything else could wait.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rey protec! That's canon. Bye!

 

* * *

One of Rey's earliest memory of moving to DQar was the day Ben took her out for the first time. She was still too forlorn to have enthusiasm for it. But Ben asked grandpa for permission to take Rey out for ice cream.

 

Rey wasn't really excited but still got ready in one of her nice summer dresses that Leia had gotten her. His mom told him to not let Rey out of his sight.

 

So Ben took her hand as they walked to the ice cream parlor. When she walked up to the counter it was too high for her to look at the flavors. After a few tries to rise up on her tiptoes, Ben heaved her up by her waist to so she could look at them and pick her flavor.

 

Rey loved fruits and so she went for a mixed berry flavor and a fruit sorbet. Ben laughed telling her the sorbet will melt and make the other flavor watery. But Rey was dead set on her choice.

 

When they had their cones, Ben took her hand again and they walked out of the ice parlor. They were walking down the footpath, it was a particularly warm summer day and the ice cream started melting as soon as they stepped out.

 

They had only walked down a block when Rey dropped her cone. And she was never one of those kids who cried for small things. She was always tough. But something happened in that moment. She hadn't cried in a week since she came to D’Qar but something just snapped inside the little girl.

 

It took Ben a moment to get into action. He was on his knees in front of her and pulling her to his chest. Rubbing her back as he tried to calm her down.

 

“It's okay sweetheart. Don't cry please. I will get you another one.” He said.

 

But Rey didn't know what was wrong with her she just couldn't stop crying.

 

“I don't wanna go back!” she sobbed out. 

 

“That's okay,” Ben said, pulling away, “You can have mine.” He offered her the cone that he was still holding in his left hand.

 

Rey looked at his chocolate chip ice cream and timidly reached for it. She took it in her hand, as Ben whipped the tear off her cheeks.

 

He was already almost 6 feet tall at the age of 13, and even on his knees Rey could only reach his shoulder. She rested her head on his shoulder sniffing her nose. After a while Ben picked her up in his arms and carried her back home.

 

* * *

 

Now that Rey thought about it, he still did that. Nothing between them had change since that first day he was left in charge of her, Rey mused. Whenever they went somewhere, Ben would always hold her hand. As if he was still worried she'd get lost. Or maybe he took Leia's order to his heart.

 

As they got down from the apartment and started walking towards the parking lot, his hands automatically reached for hers. And Rey notice how natural it was for them.

 

Ben opened the door for her and let her in then walked around the car to get in himself. For some reason Rey never considered this action before either. She wondered what else did she take for granted? He really did always put her safety, comfort and convenience first. Everything else could wait.

 

Maybe it was ingrained in him. And Rey wondered if she could ever live without it. Without him in her life. Or see someone else taking a more important role in his life.

 

Her skin crawled at the thought. As if someone doused her and set her on fire. Anger flashed in her eyes.

 

Rey bit down her lower lips. And looked outside. No she won't be able to stand that.

 

She felt a light tap on her hand.

 

“Hey. What happened?” he asked, turning his head towards her for a moment before looking back at road.

 

Rey couldn't help the frown that had formed on her face.

 

“Nothing.” she grumbled.

 

“It's not nothing. Tell me?” And the way his voice dipped when he said that made her cheeks feel warm and well- some other places too.

 

Rey crossed her legs, squeezing her thighs together, before turning to face him with bright smile.

 

“Seriously, Ben. It's nothing.” She reassured him.

 

He nodded and looked away. Rey could tell he was thinking too. He had his thinking face on. Ben was acting strange too.

 

Ever since her date, Ben had been a little on the edge as well. Rey was good at picking up his nervous energy and Ben was anxious about something and she knew it.

 

Her mind was telling her not to read too much into it. But her heart was soaring at the possibility. He did walk out and stayed away for all day when she mentioned her having sex. In any other instant with anyone else she would have thought it was normal. They are just being weird. But it was them. And Ben never ran away from her. 

 

She reached out grabbed his hand and brought it to her lap, squeezing it reassuringly. 

 

They spent the rest of the ride in comfortable silence.

 

* * *

 

They went to the mall first. Rey pulled Ben to the department store. She got supplies and writing materials as well as other toiletries such as the product for his hair.

 

Rey never stopped teasing him about his hair routine, but in reality she was envious of those raven locks. He always tried to teach her his care routine but Rey never had the patience to follow them.

 

She reached up and ran her fingers through his hair playfully and noticed that Ben's eyes fluttered shut for a second. That made Rey smile.

 

He held her hand as they walked through the isles collecting items. When they were done and was at the checkout counter the cashier was a student from Coruscant. As the mall was within the University area a lot of the students worked there. Especially on the weekends.

 

The boy at the counter looked flustered when he saw Ben. He greeted him and Rey found out Ben was his TA. At first Rey thought the boy was probably afraid of him like most people tend to be. But then she realize he was blushing and stealing eyes at Ben. She looked back at Ben who was oblivion of the attention as he made the payment and pulled her away.

 

Rey squeezed his hand, Ben looked down at her questioningly. She shook her head and pressed her face into his bicep. Her Ben was always so clueless.

 

They window shopped for a while. Then she got them some school supplies. They had lunch sitting beside the fountain at the mall plaza. They bought burritos from a gourmet food truck that only came on the weekends.

 

Rey caught Ben staring at her when he thought she wasn't looking. It was like he was trying to find something. And Rey wondered what it might be. Few times she even found him looking at her lips.

 

She decided they should get some PJs and made him try them on. Ben protested but aquicesed. After all he could never say no to her. And Rey was having too much fun to let him off the hook.

 

He was wearing a light blue sweats and black sleeping pants with matching plaid pattern.

 

With hands on his hip Ben said, “I look ridiculous! You had your fun. Now can I get out of this?”

 

But Rey was having too much fun to let him off the hook. She held up two more sets. One black and red, and the other grey. She was getting those for them, she new they'd look good on him. Beside they were super comfy and he'd thank her later she knew that.

 

But then her thoughts were interrupted by a shrill voice.

 

“Don't stop. Try the briefs next. You are giving the store a great show.”

 

Rey saw the color draining out of his face in seconds.

 

She turned around to see who made the comment. Rey found a girl with drawn eyebrows, bold lipstick, and black hair standing behind her leering at Ben.

 

“Excuse me?” Rey asked turning around her body automatically coming in front of him in a protective stance.

 

“Oh I was talking to him.” the girl said.

 

“Yeah I have heard that. And sorry to inform you but that was vulgar and rude.”

 

“I beg your pardon. I know him.” the girl looked taken aback.

 

“Umm. And that gives you right to make lewd comments?” Rey said, taking a step forward.

 

“Rey-” Ben was starting. But she shot her hand up, stopping him.

 

“Ben, go change.” She said, without looking back.

 

She heard him shuffling and the door to the changing room shutting.

 

“I think you are overreacting.” the girl finally snapped out of the shock. It seemed to Rey this person was never held accountable for their actions. 

 

She remember this girl from a conversation she had with Ben and Luke. Luke said a girl from the project seemed to like Ben. And Ben straight up told his uncle he didn't want her attention. It made him feel uncomfortable.

 

Later Rey pressed on the issue and Ben opened up to her. And that made her wanna hit something. The girl was harassing him, even after he made it clear that he wasn't interested.

 

“I think I'm not. We were having a private conversation, you walked in here uninvited and started making comments.” Rey said taking another step forward. “You made him uncomfortable. And I will not stand for that.”

 

She probably came off very strong because the girl took a step back.

 

And that made Rey smirk, “Oh I know you. I know how you always try to touch him and get him alone. That's call harassment. And I'd suggest you stay away from him. Or else-"

 

Rey heard Ben opening the changing room door. With the PJs gathered in his arms he stepped out. 

 

“Let's go.” Rey heard him say. And she stepped away from the disgruntled girl. 

 

He walked up to her and took her hand pulling her away towards the counter.

 

Rey smiled, as she interlaced her fingers through his and gave a small squeeze.

 

Ben squeezed back before ducking down and kissing the side of her head.

 

That was how things have always been. They took care of each other. Support and defend the other. And that's never going to change and Rey knew it.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, men too get harassed. And Ben has been abused before. That's why he gets flustered when confronting situations like this. Thank God for he has his little protector.
> 
> Please please please let me know your thoughts in the comments. Recently I have noticed people are leaning towards canonverse after TLJ came out. And AUs are getting a little neglected. It makes me demotivated to write them. But if you guys leave your reviews and thought it helps me push ahead with the aus.
> 
> Anyway. Thanks again for all your love.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Want a beer?” Han said from behind startling him.
> 
> “Umm no,” Ben replied, “Thanks.”
> 
> “Suit yourself.” Han shrugged. “Why are you still up kid?” he said, sitting down beside him.
> 
> Ben looked at him from the corner of his eyes. He didn't have the best relationship with his dad. But the more he was growing up, he was becoming more tolerant of his father.
> 
> But he still scooted away a little on the couch. An action Han didn't miss, although he chose to ignore it. Ben felt a little bad but it was something he couldn't help.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guy.... I have no words for you! Except for expressing my heartfelt gratitude for your response on the last chapter. You know I'm just trying to sound chilled but.... damn I'm not chilled at all. I cried my eyes out reading them.
> 
> Anyway this chapter took over a week to write. And it's a flash back chapter. I don't know if you guys actually like the flash backs so I'm a little nervous. But it's an important memory and only from a year ago.
> 
> Head up for any Gossip Girl fans.. ;-) you'd know why!

 

* * *

 

 

“Ben!” Leia called him from the kitchen.

 

“Yeah!” Startled Ben got up from the couch and walked to the kitchen, his mom put the phone down and turned to look at him.

 

“I want you to drive Rey and Finn to the prom,” she told him opening the fridge.

 

“Huh?” Ben was napping on the couch when his mother called him. He was still feeling a little disoriented.

 

“I was supposed to drive them but I can't, because your dad took my car to the shop,” she said pulling two small plastic boxes out of the fridge and pushing them towards him.

 

Ben looked down at the containers. They had a kind of blue flower in them. Raising his brow he gave his mother a quizzical look.

 

“What are these?”

 

His mother rolling her eyes and shook her head. “These are matching Corsage and Boutonniere for Rey and Finn.”

 

“Bout-what? Come again?” he asked.

 

“Oh Ben! You would know what those are if you ever went to any of your proms!” his mother deadpanned.

 

“Oh not that again mum.” Ben groaned.

 

Right then the bell rang and Ben decided to just opened it, so he could avoid this same old discussion.

 

His mom was still complaining when he opened the door and stopped in his tracks.

 

Rey was standing on the doorstep, wearing a long blue satin gown that draped over one of her shoulders and wrapped around her body and cascaded down over her waist, reaching her ankles.

 

Finn cleared his throat from behind her when Ben realized he was staring. “Can we come in?”

 

“Umm.. Sorry. Yeah, come in,” Ben said, stepping aside.

 

Finn squeezed in from behind Rey and headed towards the kitchen.

 

Ben looked back at his friend. She had a radiant smile on her face. Ben looked closer, his hand reaching up on it's own cupping her cheek. He traced the apple of her cheek with his thumb. She had makeup on that entirely covered her freckles.

 

“How do I look, Benny?” she asked snapping him out of his thought.

 

“Taller,” he said, mentioning her heels.

 

“Well still couldn't catch you,” she said grumpily.

 

That made him smile. “Well you still have time, kid,” he said patting her head and she pushed his hand away, trying to dodge.

 

“You know that I'm 18 right? I'm am an adult now. You still treat me like a kid.”

 

Ben thought about it for a moment. It is true, she was an adult. He looked at her more closely.

 

“Oh my precious girl!” Leia squealed from behind him. She rushed past him to get to Rey. “You look absolutely stunning! Doesn't she, Ben?” His mother asked without taking her eyes off Rey.

 

“Hmm,” Ben hummed.

 

Suddenly, he realized Rey had indeed grown up. His little Rey was all grown up. When did that happen?

 

“Don't just stand there. Go get the corsage,” Leia urged him. “I left it on the counter.”

 

Ben walked back and saw the box with the blue flower assortment on the counter.

 

As he walked back, he heard his mother telling Rey and Finn that Ben was driving them. She had her phone out and was taking selfies with them.

 

Ben held the box towards Leia, who gave him an annoyed look. “Put it on her wrist, Ben.”

 

“Ummm…” he mumbled looking at the complicated packaging.

 

“Here let me help you,” Rey said taking the box from him. She opened the box up in seconds and handed it back to him.

 

Ben took out the flower bracelet from the box and slowly slid it on her dainty wrist. The blue orchid flower looked vibrant against her golden skin. And the pearls woven through it were glistening in the light.

 

Rey was looking at the piece of ornament with childlike wonder. It really did look beautiful on her. She pried her eyes away to meet his and gave him a bright smile.

 

She raised up on her toes, gripping his shoulder and placing a soft kiss on his cheek.

 

“Thanks Benny,” she said, rubbing at his skin to get the lipstick off.

 

“That was a perfect shot!” Leia said out loud. “Okay another one, now looking at the lens.”

 

Ben and Rey both looked at the camera as he put his arm around her.

 

Leia took several photos in different poses and Ben had to groan and reminded her that they were going somewhere.

 

* * *

 

Ben was dozing off on the couch watching some movie his mom put up. Leia had since left for bed, but Ben was still up. He wouldn't  admit to himself but he was worried about Rey.

 

When he dropped them, Rey assured him getting home won't be an issue, someone will drop them. But Ben didn't trust her friends. Or any high school kid on prom night. No matter how much you monitor, someone would sneak alcohol in and they would be drunk driving.

 

Worry for her safety was triggering his anxiety. He was on the edge.

 

“Want a beer?” Han said from behind startling him.

 

“Umm no,” Ben replied, “Thanks.”

 

“Suit yourself.” Han shrugged. “Why are you still up kid?” he said, sitting down beside him.

 

Ben looked at him from the corner of his eyes. He didn't have the best relationship with his dad. But the more he was growing up, he was becoming more tolerant of his father.

 

But he still scooted away a little on the couch. An action Han didn't miss, although he chose to ignore it. Ben felt a little bad but it was something he couldn't help.

 

“Umm. I was watching the movie.” He gestured towards the screen.

 

“Oh yeah,” Han snark, taking a swig of his beer.

 

Ben looked at the screen to notice the credits rolling. He felt silly, and proceeded to switch the TV off.

 

“Are you feeling okay, son?” Han pressed on.

 

Ben thought about the question for a second. _Was he feeling Okay?_ His doctors changed his medicine and he was still going through the adjustment period. But it wasn't bad. So far it was working fine.

 

He was staying home for the first month of his summer break. He would go back to campus in July to join a full time research program. He was taking it easy. Staying with his parents hadn't been too bad either. And he gets to spend time with Rey.

 

 _Rey._ Thought of her brought in another bout of worry. He reached for his phone to call her but it started to ring. And it _was_ her.

 

He picked up and walked towards the main door.

 

“Rey, are you okay?” he grabbed his hoodie and picked up his keys.

 

“Ben, did you go bed already?” Rey asked, “Can come and pick me up?” She asked in a small voice.

 

He was behind his wheels before she could finished her sentence.

 

“I'm coming to pick you up,” he said, starting up his car.

 

* * *

 

He pulled up on the street near the gym building of his high school. He despised that place and would rather stay away. It only reminded him of a terrible time and bitter memories.

 

He saw her standing by the curb hugging her arms. The temperature has dropped since the sun went down and she didn't take a jacket.

 

Ben got out and walked to her. Her face broke into a smile when she saw him.

 

He took off his pull over and draped it over her shoulder. Rubbing her arms he looked into her eyes.

 

“You should have stayed inside,” he told her.

 

“I know you don't like to go in. So I came out. Already made you drive here twice,” she said in a small voice.

 

He rolled his eyes. “You don't make me do anything. It's my duty.” He said it with finality. He didn't like it when she acted like she was imposing. She wasn't. She was his responsibility.

 

He grasped her hand and pulled her towards the falcon.

 

“You wanna drive?” he asked seeing that something was wrong.

 

“No, you drive.” That made Ben really worry. Rey never refused a chance to drive. Especially the falcon. She loved this car.

 

“Okay, now you are worrying me. Tell me what happened. Where is Finn?” He asked as they settled in their seats.

 

“Nothing Ben. Finn got asked by the guy he wasn't sure was gay. I didn't want to bug him. Anyway, you were right about not going to the prom. I should have just listened.”

 

“I never told you not to go.” He corrected her.

 

“Yeah not directly. But you didn't go yourself. I should have known if you didn't like it. I wouldn't either.”

 

“Hmm. But what happened?”

 

“I felt out of place. I got irritated when people flirted with me or even asked me for dance.” She huffed, “And wasn't that the whole point of this night?”

 

Ben turned to look at her but she rambled on.

 

“I mean it's not like I didn't want to dance. It's just…. Not with any of them. Just didn't feel like it. People probably think I'm a snob.” She sighed.

 

Ben sighed. Reaching his hand up and tucking the strand of hair that fell on her face, as she hung her head and sulked.

 

“You are not a snob. And it's perfectly fine to feel like that. You were not ready.”

 

“But I am. I wanted to dance!” Rey protested.

 

Ben hummed and thought about a second. Then he turned the car around abruptly.

 

“Woah! What are you-” Rey squeaked.

 

“Just hold on. You'll see.” That's all Ben said as he kept driving.

 

* * *

 

Ben stopped the car when he reached their cliffside. He turned towards her and gave her short nod.

 

He got down and opened the door for Rey and held his hand out, “Let's go.”

 

Rey gave him a smile and shook her head before taking his hand.

 

“You need to have this dance or you'd regret not doing it,” Ben mumbled as Rey placed her hand on his shoulder.

 

He wrapped his arm around her waist. Ben Solo wasn't a dancer. He'd rather avoid it at any cost. But for Rey, he was even willing to dance.

 

They danced to the soft tunes of Rey's favorite playlist.

 

But at the end of the third song, Rey was giggling and Ben was smiling too. Dancing didn't feel bad with her either. Ben decided he rather liked it too and very much wanted to dance with her again.

 

When she finally got exhaughted she buried her face in his chest and slow danced for a while.

 

“Thank you for this, Ben.” Rey sighed.

 

“It was my pleasure.” And it really was, Ben realized.

 

That night when drove her back, Ben really noticed that his little Rey had indeed grown up. And Ben didn't know how to deal with that change. But he was willing to brave through it for her, with her.

 

* * *

 Present Day:

 

As Rey walked alongside him in the mall today, wrapping her arms around his arm and fingers intertwining with him, Ben knew Rey had grown up into a strong independent woman. She didn't only know how to fight her own battles, she was willing to stand up for the ones she cared about.

 

And Ben knew he loved her, he loved this gorgeous woman by his side.

 

He pulled her hand up and placed a kiss on her knuckles. It was almost like an impulse but Ben felt like doing it. And didn't regret it either.

 

Her eyes went wider and a slight blush colored her cheeks. Ben felt like leaning in and kissing them too, but someone called her name from behind them.

 

“Rey!” It was a male voice. And Ben had a feeling he knew whom it belonged to without looking.

 

They both turned around to see meet the happy face of Nate Vanderbilt.

 

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So..... sorry for the cliffy. What do you think Ben's reaction would be? We all know how Rey feels about Nate... let's see where it takes them. Also Han and Leia showed up!!! We only ever talked about them but what do you think of their appearance and the tension between father and son?
> 
> Thank again for reading. Please let me know your thoughts in the comments or You can always find me on Tumblr. At shwtlee2reylo.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Rey!”  
> Her name stopped her in her tracks. She felt Ben’s body stiffening beside her, and his fingers tightening around hers. She squeezed back in an attempt to calm him down, but he probably didn’t even register the gesture.  
> They slowly turned around and Rey saw Nate walking towards them with a wide smile on his face.  
> “Hey, how are you?” he asked leaning closer and pecking her cheek. Ben’s fingers loosened around hers. She felt him letting go of her hand, and pulling away. Rey moaned at the loss. And quickly took a step back, away from Nate.  
> “Hi,” she said, stealing a glance at Ben. But he had his face turned away from them, suddenly very interested in the screen that was playing some commercial.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ekk. You want nate issue resolved
> 
> A scene in This chapter is loosely inspired by My friend Andie ( You might know her as Daxcat) and her girlfriend.

* * *

 

“Rey!”

 

Her name stopped her in her tracks. She felt Ben’s body stiffening beside her, and his fingers tightening around hers. She squeezed back in an attempt to calm him down, but he probably didn’t even register the gesture.

 

They slowly turned around and Rey saw Nate walking towards them with a wide smile on his face.

 

“Hey, how are you?” he asked leaning closer and pecking her cheek. Ben’s fingers loosened around hers. She felt him letting go of her hand, and pulling away. Rey moaned at the loss. And quickly took a step back, away from Nate.

 

“Hi,” she said, stealing a glance at Ben. But he had his face turned away from them, suddenly very interested in the screen that was playing some commercial.

 

Rey dragged her eyes off his side profile to look at Nate.

 

“How are you? I texted you, wonder how are you? But no reply?” Nate complained, teasingly.

 

“Umm, I was busy,” she said, and felt Ben snapping his back to look at her. She could almost tell he was staring at her in confusion. Wondering why she was lying. But his reaction, and posture spoke louder than his words. Rey was completely aware of the change in his actions. That night something changed, something was different and she wasn’t sure if it was good or bad. But Ben was annoyed by Nate and she could tell. He was feeling possessive and irritated. And as much every part of her body wanted to reassure him and wanted to put him at ease, she wanted to see where it will lead them and if it really would change something between them, for the better.

 

***

 

That damned perfect boy. The easy way he could just swoop in and make himself comfortable around her infuriated Ben. Then he kissed her. Ben felt his blood burn in his veins, but what could he do? It was frustrating and he felt the need to just step away and leave her be with the perfect boy.

 

But his heart was telling him to not part from her presence. As if he had this masochistic tendency to just witness it, to see her with another, as his heart shattered in a million pieces. He couldn’t deny the feelings he felt. Too much time lost in denial but it was too late. Then again he was sure she never would see him in that way. He would be better off burying his feelings deep inside, locking it away in the chasm of his dark heart.

 

Then he heard her lie, and that snapped him out of his desolate thoughts. He looked at her as she deliberately lied to the boy. She wasn’t busy at all. She was opposite of that. Ben found it curious. Rey was always nice to people. Then he looked at the boy. The way he looked at her, Ben could tell he was taken by her. And he was believing every word that was coming out of her mouth.

 

Ben knew Rey wasn’t interested in him then. It was obvious, but then he remembered her comment about just sleeping with him. And it made him feel sick.

 

“I was just worried, you weren’t feeling very well the other night in the restaurant,” Nate stated, sounding very serious.

 

Ben knew she wasn’t feeling well, but it wasn’t anything physical. He knew the feeling; he could never quite get used to the social scene, and his Rey wasn’t any better at faring.

 

“I was just wondering if you’d like to reschedule. This week?” Nate asked with hope in his eyes.

 

“Umm. Maybe it isn’t such a good idea, Nate,” she said, in a small voice.

 

“I don’t understand. Then next week?” He was persistent and Ben had to give him that.

 

“It’s not gonna work,Nate,” she said. Now guilt was palpable in her voice. Ben could tell it was difficult for her, and he wanted to reach out and hold her. But he refrained.

 

“I’m just not feeling it. I’m sorry but,” then she turned to look straight at Ben. He could tell her eyes brightened a little. This time when she turned back, he could see her steely resolve.

 

“I have to let you go. It’s not fair on you,” she said, taking another step away from the boy. She was even closer to Ben and he could feel her body heat.

 

“I hope you understand,” Rey said, her hand reaching back to take Ben’s. She once again interlaced her fingers in his, and Ben felt his heart soaring.

 

“Um, yeah, I mean-” Nate was taken aback but was valiantly trying to recover. “I will see you around.” He looked at Ben, as if he noticed him finally there for the first time.

 

His eyes drifted down to their linked hands, and something changed in his disgruntled expression. Understanding finally dawned in them for once.

 

Nate looked up at Ben, and gave him a curt nod. “Ben.”

 

“Nate,” Ben replied, trying to sound as impassive as possible.

 

The boy turned around and soon melted back into the sea of mall patrons. Ben stared at the spot he was just in.

 

“Hey, are you okay?” Rey asked him, shaking his arm a little. Ben looked down at her, and saw her bright toothy smile. She wasn’t upset at all. She pulled him toward the exit, arms again around him, cheek pressing on his bicep.

 

Ben felt better; the nausea he was feeling slowly dissipated as he walked them towards the car.

 

***

 

Rey felt better after she had the confrontation with Nate. She wasn't the kind of person who would lead someone on unnecessarily. Nate deserved better than that. But she had to admit she was avoiding the inevitable by ignoring his texts and phone calls. It was good that she ran into him, much to Ben's dismay she must add. Even though it was a brief encounter she felt so much lighter after it. And she'd have to admit seeing Ben so affected by it made her feel hopeful. It might be selfish of her to feel excited at his discomfort. But now she had more evidence to pursue this.

 

When they got home, Ben went straight to his room and Rey felt bad. Maybe it was too much excitement and activity for one day. She wanted to comfort him but decided against following him. Ben needed to be alone, and Rey understood it.

 

Rey went to bed as well, not thinking too much into his behavior.

 

***

 

In the middle of the night, Rey suddenly woke up and looked over her shoulder to find dim light through her open door. Sighing she got up and padded to the living room. The TV was on and Ben was sitting on the couch, flicking through movies on Netflix. Rey stood there on the threshold, staring at his profile. His hair was mused and he wasn’t wearing a shirt.

 

Rey slowly walked towards him, and stood beside the couch looking down at him. Ben looked up as she approached. His eyes were puffy and cheeks were red from waking up from sleep. Rey was sure she looked much the same. She felt his eyes tracing down her body, and saw him swallowing, his Adam’s apple bobbing in his throat. She was in her sleeping boxers and tank.

 

His eyes looked watery and pupils blown, making them look almost black. Rey noticed he was only in his boxer briefs. She felt the strongest urge to straddle him and kiss his plush red lips, sucking that bottom lip between hers. Rey traced her fingers down his cheek, as he kept looking up at her with something new and deep in his eyes. Rey wondered if it was longing?

 

She made her decision, she needed to feel his bare skin against her. Slowly she climbed onto his lap. Arms encircling his neck, fingers dipping into the soft hair at the nape of his neck. Ben’s arms came around her waist. It was automatic how he just pulled her even closer to his chest, her side pressing against his bare chest. Rey buried her face into the crook of his shoulder, lips pressing into his neck.

Rey heard him sigh was he leaned back into the couch. His body instantly relaxing. She snuggled even closer.

 

“Couldn’t sleep?” Rey asked against his skin.

 

“No,” Ben answered softly.

 

Rey pulled away, and looked into his eyes. His hands were caressing the side of her waist and her torso in a soothing motion. Rey felt a shiver run down her back.

 

She leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss to the corner of his mouth.

 

“You know I love you, right?” she told him, trying to communicate her feelings, how deeply she felt.

 

“I know,” he answered, returning her kiss, pecking her cheek, and then her temple, before pulling her back to him.

 

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> they are getting there.......
> 
> let me know your thoughts and speculations


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Rey sat down on the chair, Ben came around to sit beside her. He would usually sit opposite. And while discussing a topic that was in Rey’s lecture, Ben placed a hand on her thigh. It was an unconscious move than he tried to remedy, but Rey captured his hand and interlaced it with hers, keeping it there. Ben didn’t move the hand the entire time.
> 
> After lunch they had time to kill so they stayed there as Ben went through his lectures. Rey leaned onto his shoulder checking her phone. After a while Rey yawned, feeling a little sleepy, so Ben wrapped his arm around her so she could lean in closer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> EEKKKKKK... I love the fact that you guys are enjoying this... it makes me cry.... happy tears. lol I sometimes read your comments, when i feel down and it makes me feel better... I'm sorry but it's true. and look how fast I have update... Okay maybe wasn't as fast. But i literally took me few hours to write this. and it's a long ass chapter. Sorry it turned a little too wordy, i hope you don't get bored.
> 
> ANd Precious has an Artwork. You can find it here: [**Precious Art by @legendsmade**](https://shwtlee2reylo.tumblr.com/post/170647901463/artwork-by-legendsmade-for-my-fanfic-precious)

* * *

 

 

Rey woke up on their couch. Ben’s body draped over her, keeping her cozy and warm. His arm sneaked between her breasts, hand tucked under her cheek. His breath hot on her shoulder where he had buried his face in.

 

Smiling Rey picked up his phone that he dropped on the carpet. It was 10 past 9. She had a class at 10, and he had to be in the campus as well. So as much as she’d rather lie here cuddled into his chest she had to get up and get ready. 

 

Rey slowly slid out from under his arms, and knelt in front of the couch on the carpet. Ben protested at the loss of her body, his face scrunching up in irritation. Then he turned his head to the other side, lying on his belly, hugging a cushion. It made Rey smile as she looked at his sleepy face. She leaned over and kissed the sleep marks on his cheek.

 

She pushed up on her feet, her eyes tracing down his body. He was only in his black boxers. Ben’s muscular thighs meeting a tight ass that made Rey’s throat dry with longing. A pale broad back littered with black moles and beauty marks. She could draw her own constellation with them.

 

Fighting the urge to kiss his back, Rey turned away, and walked towards her room.

 

* * *

 

 

Rey finished her first class of the day, bid goodbye to Rose and walked towards Ben’s lab class. He was the TA for a Junior course. He had his class later in the afternoon and they could squeeze in lunch in between. 

 

She walked with purpose in her steps. She knew Ben’s feelings for her were more than what meets the eyes. And she wasn’t the only one who was having trouble. He was having a hard time coming to terms with it. Specially if he was worried that those feelings might not be welcomed. She understood he didn’t want things to change for the worse. Neither of them wanted to lose the other.

 

And it was entirely logical to be cautious and even to be in denial. He didn’t know if she looked at him in a way more than that of familial. That could be terrifying. And Rey was painfully aware of that fear. But she was pretty confident in her quest. Ben just needed a push and she intended to do just that.

 

She sat on the bench looking out at the field outside the window. She heard the lab door opening and a group of students getting out, all sparing more than just a glance at her. Some more appreciative than the others. Rey ignored them all, getting up on her feet, walking to the door and looking inside.

 

The lab room was pretty much empty other than a few students still packing up and chatting with friends. Ben was packing his own laptop in his bag. She sighed at the sight of him with his glasses on. He looked dashing with those black rimmed glasses. He wouldn’t wear them often though, choosing contacts over them. But they had run late this morning. And Rey was more than happy to have him with his glasses on.

 

There was noise of something dropping and Rey turned to look at the source. She knew Ben’s attention was there too. One of the girls dropped her books near the front desk where Ben was packing his things up.

 

Rey furrowed her brows as she observed the scene. Ben crouched down to help, but the girl didn’t seem to care about her stuffs at all. Her catty eyes were pinned to Ben. She bit her lips and smiled at him suggestively. 

 

“Thanks for your help Mr. Solo,” she told him. Ben gathered up her books and handed them to her.

 

“No problem,” Ben told her with a curt nod, getting back behind the table, and to his own stuffs. As if he wanted to put as much distance between the girl and himself.

 

“I really enjoyed your class. And I was wondering if I could know your office hours.” Then she added more suggestively, “I have some- questions.”

 

“I don’t have any office hours. If you have any questions you can ask Professor Holdo in the next class,” he answered with a professional tone, his eyes hardening. The look he gave the girl was so cold, even Rey could feel the chills from where she stood.

 

The girl didn’t seem to take the hint though. She was about to ask something else, but Rey interrupted her, before the girl embarrassed herself even more. Moreover this encounter was irritating her as well.

 

“Ben!” Rey said drawing his attention. He turned to look at her and his face broke into a bright smile.

 

He threw the messenger bag over his shoulder, Rey walked up to him and he leaned down to kiss her cheek, and she did the same.

 

“Hey sweetheart. How was your class?” he asked her.

 

“It was good, but I was late,” Rey teased.

 

“I’m sorry for making you late,” Ben apologized, ducking his head.

 

Rey smiled, ruffling his hair, “It’s okay, Professor Calrissian understood,” she told him, before looking at the girl who was still standing by the table, staring at them.

 

Rey glanced at the girl with an annoyed look. “Can we help you with something?”

 

The girl mumbled a no and walked past them. Rey rolled her eyes before looking at Ben. He grabbed her hand and was already pulling her towards the exit.

 

“Let’s go have lunch.” He nodded towards the door.

 

* * *

 

Ben and Rey got themselves some cafeteria food. With only an hour before they had their classes, driving out of campus for better food options was impractical. Besides, spending time with each other made it worth it. Most days they ended up having lunch together, but they were usually too distracted by their studies, nose deep into notes or books to actually enjoy each other's company. 

 

It had become a routine. They were so used to each other, lunch together was like staying in the same apartment or sharing a bed.

 

But Rey knew now it wasn’t. It was just them. If someone else actually observed them from outside, they wouldn’t miss how essential Ben and Rey were to each other. And how deep their bond was.

 

Today they sat on the corner, choosing to sit beside each other even though there were two empty seats on the other side of the table. It was like they didn’t feel like being separated from each other. And they were both paying attention, setting aside the books and the notes, and the phones to concentrate on the food and the other person.

 

When Rey sat down on the chair, Ben came around to sit beside her. He would usually sit opposite. And while discussing a topic that was in Rey’s lecture, Ben placed a hand on her thigh. It was an unconscious move than he tried to remedy, but Rey captured his hand and interlaced it with hers, keeping it there. Ben didn’t move the hand the entire time.

 

After lunch they had time to kill so they stayed there as Ben went through his lectures. Rey leaned onto his shoulder checking her phone. After a while Rey yawned, feeling a little sleepy, so Ben wrapped his arm around her so she could lean in closer.

 

It wasn’t anything unusual. Ben and Rey often times would cuddle on campus. Everyone got used to it. People close to them knew they grew up together and were always like that. People who didn’t know them would often ask. But they would usually brush it off. They were best friends. But now Rey knew they saw more than a familial bond born out of proximity. They saw chemistry that people who were used to them ignored and Ben and Rey themselves were oblivious of.

 

“Ben!” Hux’s nasal voice snapped Rey out of her musing. They both looked up to see the orange hair of Armitage Hux burning in mid afternoon sunlight.

 

The girl from the mall was trailing behind him. Ben put down his book to fix them with a cold glance. “Hey. What’s up?”

 

“Well nothing. We were heading to the lab to get some work done on the report,” Hux said in a cheerful voice.

 

“Good for you. I’m done with mine,” Ben informed them.

 

Hux laughed out, “Of course. Anyway, you know today is the super moon right?”

 

Ben furrowed his brow before taking her phone from her hand and checking the date. He let go of Rey’s hand and looked back at his  _ friends _ .

 

“Hmm, I didn’t notice the date,” he replied before looking down at Rey.

 

“Yeah, it’s an eclipse and also the second moon of the month so it’s a blue moon as well,” the girl said enthusiastically.

 

“Well we are heading to the campus observatory to watch it at night,” Hux told him, and Rey knew what was coming next. She hated it when Hux and his friends dragged Ben to these gatherings and Ben would leave her when she would much rather have him all to herself. It was kinda selfish she supposed but it is what it is. Rey sighed, pulling away from his arm and starting to pack her stuffs.

 

“Actually, we have plans,” Ben said. 

 

That made Rey stop in her tracks as well and she turned to look at him.

 

Ben, on the other hand, was already looking at her. A slight smile tugged at the corner of his mouth.

 

“What plan and when did you make it?” Hux asked in an annoyed voice, like he was calling Ben on his bullshit. Rey gritted her teeth. She really did try to like this guy, but he just kept making it so difficult.

 

“Well, it was made years ago,” he said, getting up from his chair, putting his own notes in his bag and shouldering it. Rey was still sitting on her chair when Ben extended his hand and took her bag. It wasn’t anything unusual. Ben would always carry her bag; it became a habit ever since he walked her to school on her first day. But the action wasn’t missed by the two vultures. 

 

In reality, Ben’s friends had not seen them interact as much as Rey’s friends had. Ben always kept that life separate. From what Rey knew, ever since she moved to Coruscant Ben had been spending more time with her than with them. Not that he was keen on that either. To Rey his friendship with these people seemed more forced than anything. It was born out of necessity and well, it wasn’t a necessity anymore. Not if Rey could help it. She had been marking her territory. And she didn’t even feel guilty about monopolizing his time.

 

Hux looked annoyed for losing his wingman, as he often to referred Ben as. He grumbled a ‘see you in class’ and left with the snake that was eyeing Ben the whole time.

 

“What plan?” Rey asked as soon as they left.

 

“Remember in 2015, the summer when we had that supermoon lunar eclipse? I wasn’t home and you watched it alone?” He asked.

 

Rey remembered-- she was very sad that day. “Yeah,” she replied with annoyance.

 

“The next one was approximately in three years. I promised we would see that together. It’s today. So we made plans three years ago,” Ben said, grabbing her hand and pulling her towards the door.

 

“Ohhh,” Rey figured as Ben winked at her.

 

“Ohhh, Indeed.” He chuckled. “Let’s go. I can’t let you be late for class again. Luke would murder me if you are late for his class.”

 

Rey let him pull her towards her next class. Anticipation for the night made her feel giddy.

 

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And guess what's gonna happen in the next chapter? ;-)
> 
> Oh I have updated the sister fic of Precious. [**Lifeline**](http://archiveofourown.org/works/9713522) If you guys wanna give it a try.


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peering through the lens he saw the northern star is burning bright as he searched the sky for clouds. It was a clear autumn night with light breeze. When we turned around to get back inside, he saw Rey in her sleeping robe standing by his bedroom door. She had the robe untied and was looking at his chest. Her eyes slowly traced up and met his, face breaking up in a mischievous smile. Ben couldn’t help it when his eyes flitted to her chest too; she was once again wearing her sleeping shorts and tank.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what you've been waiting for

 

* * *

 

Ben tried to calm his nerves all through the lecture but thinking about tonight made him feel anxious. He couldn’t deny his obvious feelings for her. But he was cautious. He knew Rey would never hurt him, but he didn’t want to make things weird between them. Although she had been odd or different lately, her behavior almost suggestive. He didn’t want to read it the wrong way. But he couldn’t really help it either. He was hopeful.

 

The way she would look at him with longing in her eyes made Ben’s heart beat faster. And he had been noticing things about her that he never dared to consciously notice before. Like those three spots on her chest, right beside her sternum, that created a beautiful triangle. Last night when she was sitting on his lap watching TV, his eyes kept drifting there. He had to wet his lips several times because they kept getting drier as he stared down at her freckled chest.

 

Ben noticed her hip bones that jutted out so proudly, when she wore a low rise jeans, or his boxer shorts to bed. He found himself unconsciously rubbing them with his thumb at night.

 

Not to mention her pink lips. He wished he could taste them between his own. Suck on her bubblegum tongue.

 

Ben shook himself out of his reverie. He was hopeless and he wanted her. He wanted his Rey, in every way possible, and it was foolish to deny it. Because this wasn't some fleeting feeling. Ben Solo didn’t have crushes, or ever been infatuated with anyone. He loved Rey, and cared for her more than anyone, even himself. But this was a deeper more desperate feeling. It was time to admit to himself he was actually in love with her.

 

He sighed and shut his laptop down. His nerves were on the edge and he couldn’t concentrate on the class. He packed his things up and excused himself from the lecture hall. He headed towards the Dojo to get some excess energy out and get his focus back. He will stay till Rey is done with her own classes.

 

He quickly typed a text message for Rey, letting her know he was at the dojo and to meet him there after class.

 

* * *

 

They drove home in comfortable silence. Usually Rey's silence made him feel agitated, but today it was a welcome change.

Although he was curious, wondering what was going on inside that beautiful head.

He decided to take a shower when they got home. After shower, he wrapped a towel around his waist as he stepped out of the washroom. Running fingers through his wet hair Ben walked up to the balcony door. His telescope was set up on the balcony. The weather wasn’t too cold yet so he was keeping it outside. He slid the door open and felt cool air hitting his wet face and skin.

 

Peering through the lens he saw the northern star is burning bright as he searched the sky for clouds. It was a clear autumn night with light breeze. When we turned around to get back inside, he saw Rey in her sleeping robe standing by his bedroom door. She had the robe untied and was looking at his chest. Her eyes slowly traced up and met his, face breaking up in a mischievous smile. Ben couldn’t help it when his eyes flitted to her chest too; she was once again wearing her sleeping shorts and tank.

 

They had decided to sleep early so they could drive to the edge of the town and see the eclipse which wouldn’t start till early dawn.

 

Her hair was still slightly wet and curling right above her shoulders. Ben followed her movement as she walked towards his bed in a slow seductive manner. Her knees digging into his mattress as she slowly crawled to the middle of the bed, the robe parting in half.

 

She sat there with her legs tucked under, as she patted on his pillow, “Come, we should sleep.”

 

Ben gulped and sat down on the side carefully with his back towards her. As if sensing his agitation, Rey turned off the light. Ben tugged the towel loose and pulled on a pair of boxers. He felt the mattress dipping again, as Rey shifted behind him. Her breath was hot against his shoulder blades, as her hands came around and hugged him from the back. Her hand reached over his heart. She sighed into his back, her lips pressed into the base of his neck.

 

She kissed him there and pulled him back. Ben could only comply to her command. They both layed down with Rey hugging him from the back. Her soft lips still tracing his skin. She nuzzled the back of his ear, his cheek, and the side of his neck.

 

Ben couldn’t help but respond. He turned around to feel her more, or to give her more access. He didn’t know what to think-- all he knew was he wanted more, he needed more.

 

He wasn't disappointed. She laid small, barely kisses to his throat, on his adam’s apple, on his collar bones, as he rubbed his hands down her back and over her ass. He pulled her even closer. He didn’t know what he wanted, but this much was clear, he wanted her closer.

 

They fell asleep after a while in each other's arms.

 

* * *

 

Around 10 past 4 the alarm went off and Ben shook Rey awake. They got dressed in the dark, not looking at one another in the eyes. And soon he was driving the falcon with her by his side to their favorite star gazing site in Coruscant. It was up a small hill. The narrow road swirled around the hill reaching the peak. They parked a little further and walked up to the edge and laid a blanket down on the soft grass.

 

Ben had his glasses on still. He sat down and Rey climbed into his lap. Ever since she was a child, Rey would always sit between his legs with her back pressed to his chest. Her excuse was being cold and Ben was always warm. Not that he would ever mind; he always indulged her every whim. Tonight wasn’t going to be any different.

 

“The moon enters the penumbra in,” he pulled his sleeves aside to check his watch, “In 10 minutes.”

 

Rey hummed, melting deeper into his chest. She covered their legs with the other blanket. Ben just wrapped his arms around her.

 

Leaning in he whispered into her ears. “Don’t fall asleep now, sweetheart.”

 

“Hmm,” Rey hummed again. Her eyes were slipping shut. “Besides, unless you have supersight, you won’t see a shadow that light.”

 

“Well it’s starting,” he said, pointing up.

 

Rey’s eyes snapped open. He could feel the excitement in her muscles.

 

“You know what, it’s not _that_ faint like Luke makes it seem,” Rey observed.

 

Ben chuckled. “There are very few things in the world that interests him. And the moon is his least favorite thing in the sky.”

 

“Snob!” Rey snorted.

 

“Skywalker,” Ben corrected.

 

After a few moments it was quite visible and then the eclipse started and the moon touched the umbra, the darker shadow, and the it started to turn yellow and then dim orange.

 

Ben heard her gasp when the moon looked the reddest.

 

“It really is like someone painted it red, isn’t it Ben?” She mumbled.

 

“Hmm,” he said. His fingers were weaving through her hair as she rested her head on his shoulder.

 

He looked down at her face; the moonlight was illuminating her skin in a light sheen of blood orange. Her long eyelashes fanned the apple of her cheek. Ben very much wanted to kiss her lashes and the soft skin under her eyes.

 

Then he finally lost all his restraints and craned his neck down to do just that. Ben placed a feather light kiss on her eyelids, one at a time then under her eyes.

 

Rey was just looking at him, upside down. Her eyes fell on his lips. The moon was probably the largest at the moment but both didn’t bother looking. They were lost in each other.

 

She pulled away and Ben stiffened, a sudden fear of rejection gripping him. But she just quickly turned in his arms, now kneeling in front of him. Her arms slowly encircled his neck.

 

Ben raised his own hands and cupped her face. _Stars, she is beautiful._ He probably said that out loud because Rey smiled. Ben got up on his knees too, her face still between his palms. And Rey moved closer, nuzzling his nose.

 

“You are beautiful too, Ben and you don’t even know that,” she breathed, closing her eyes.

 

Ben sighed gathering all his courage. She was so close, and she wanted it. She wanted him, her eyes said that much. And she thought he was beautiful.

 

He felt her breath on his lips, and her eyes on them too. He licked his lips and saw her eyes following his tongue. Ben couldn’t wait, he slowly leaned in and lightly brushed his lip onto hers.

 

Rey sighed, lips melting into his. She kissed him back as he pulled her face closer.

 

At first it was just a spark running down his spine, but he felt Rey shudder as well. Then she opened her mouth and Ben had never felt happier. She invited his tongue in. Ben was slowly exploring the new territory, becoming acquainted with a new part of her. It was alien but at the same time it felt familiar. It felt like home.

 

Soon he heard her sighing into the kiss as their tongues fought for dominance, but accepted defeat in each other.

 

A moment later, Rey pulled him down and he found himself going down with her as he laid her back hovering over her. Their lips were still attached as the kiss continued.

 

After what felt like an eternity he pulled away, mainly to let her breathe. And as he looked down at her bruised lips, turning red, he felt like kissing her again and again and never stopping. Her cheeks were so flushed. He had to give her a moment. So he kissed her chin, her jaw. He buried his face into the crook of her neck.

 

Rey’s hand tightened in his hair then she laughed.

 

Ben pulled away looking down at her in confusion.

 

“It’s over,” she said, looking up at the sky.

 

Ben followed her line of sight. “Indeed,” he said, very much wanting to get back to what he was doing before.

 

“We should go home, Ben,” Rey said, as a cooler early morning breeze hit them. It was almost dawn.

 

Ben sighed pushing up, “You are right.” He pulled her up to a sitting position too. He couldn’t help but feel a little disappointed as they got up on their feet.

 

As if sensing that, Rey grabbed the back of his neck and pulled him down to another hard kiss. She let go of him, grasping his hand and tugging him towards the Falcon.

 

“The bed would be warmer than the grass,” she said, giving him a wink.

* * *

 

 

* * *

Watch the video of the[ Supermoon Jan 2018 Here](https://www.space.com/39208-super-blue-blood-moon-guide.html)

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here you go.... kinda nervous about your reaction thou.... let me know regardless.


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Hmm, interesting,” Luke observed, “Something happened.”
> 
> For a second Ben mused if Luke could indeed read minds. And wondered if he was that easy to read.
> 
> “It’s okay, you don’t have to tell your old uncle.” Luke said, bumping their shoulders, before standing up, “Because I will figure it out.” He added smugly, before turning and jogging away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay, I don't know what happened, Precious usually comes easily. I guess I'm just nervous of disappointing you guys.
> 
> It took me all night to write this chapter. so I'm just gonna post it and then sleep the rest of the day. hahah.
> 
> * sorry something glitched and it posted the chapter 3 times. thanks for letting me know guys! *

* * *

Ben woke up laying on his side, with sunlight hitting his eyes through the blinds. He was alone in bed, his hand automatically searching for her body before his eyes opened. Ben craned his neck up, looking around. She wasn’t there. He sighed, getting his phone and unlocking it.

 

It was 4:25 PM. He slept most of the day. And she must woken up and went to class. There was a text notification waiting for him.

 

**_Rey: I took the car._ **

 

That made him smile. Rey had a weird attachment to the car. She once told him the only car she wanted was the Falcon, but sadly he had it.

 

He missed his lab session at noon, and there was no point to rush now. So he laid back and stared up at the ceiling. The event of last night played in his head. He shut his eyes, taking her pillow, hugging it and burying his face into it. He could smell the faint fragrance of her floral shampoo that he associated with her presence.

 

He kissed her. And she had wanted him to kiss her. Ben didn’t know what to make of it yet, but he knew this much-- she wanted it last night. She initiated it. And just the thought of it made him feel content.

 

It’s not about what he wanted, it was always about what she wanted. Growing up Ben had been whatever Rey needed him to be. She still had him wrapped around her tiny fingers. And he was willing to give her anything she wanted from him.

 

* * *

 

Rey sat at the cafe between Jess and Finn. Her friends were chatting and gossiping between bites. Rose sat across from them, her nose into the book she borrowed for her robotics class. Rey was distracted; she kept looking at the time. She wanted this day to be over with. But she had class till 6.50, with her next class starting in an hour.

 

She put on one of Ben’s hoodies under her denim jacket. She didn't want to leave the bed in the morning. Tucked under his muscular arm, her back pressed to his chest. She could feel his steady heartbeat. And she could stay like that forever. There was something about being in his embrace. It was like being home. He was her home. And Rey never wanted to be away from him. Ever again.

 

She hated leaving him alone in his bed. But had classes and she knew one thing Ben would not appreciate was her skipping classes. That was one thing of growing up looking up to Ben Solo, he was always diligent about his studies. And Rey would never want to disappoint him.

 

She dragged herself to class, letting him sleep. All through the day she kept touching her lips-- the feel of his lips still fresh in her memory. The kiss was perfect, so was the moment. It was everything she ever dreamt of and more.

 

Rey found herself daydreaming most of the day and couldn’t wait to go home to him. She knew Ben was exhausted and would stay home and study. She knew him too well. He was trying to figure things out, over analysing every details. But Rey knew it in her heart, and she saw it in his eyes. He wanted it, he wanted her. Ben was as affected by her as she was by him, or maybe even more. Her best friend was a sensitive man, he felt too much of everything.

 

Her pondering was interrupted by a high pitched voice on her right. Rey reluctantly looked up and found a girl standing beside their table. Even Rose put her book down to look at the girl. But she was looking down at Rey.

 

“Hey, you are Ben Solo’s roommate right?” she asked, making Rey frown, but before she could correct her, the girl continued. “Is he okay?”

 

“Umm, what?” Rey asked automatically.

 

“He never misses a class, but he was absent today and we had a lab quiz. It’s very unlike him.” The girl rambled on, “He didn’t attend any of his classes today either.”

 

“Hold up! Hold up! Who are you?” Finn asked, almost as if he picked the question out of her head. Rey was getting increasing annoyed by Ben's groupies, as Finn likes to refer to them.

 

“I’m a student of his,” she flustered. 

 

“But Ben isn’t really a teacher.” Finn pointed out, holding back a laugh.

 

“He is the Lab teacher.” The girl argued, making Finn and Jess roll their eyes.

 

“She is sort of correct though,” Rose interjected, but the humor was evident in her voice, “And he might join as a professor when he gets his doctoral.”

 

Jess was ready with her counter, when the girl interrupted them.

 

“That’s not the point. I am asking if he is doing okay?” she asked impatiently smacking her lips.

 

Rey had enough of all this. She put her cup down and stood up. She looked down at the girl, “Why do you care?” She was annoyed and jealousy just made her mean.

 

“I am just worried about him,” she said making Rey snort.

 

“Aww, she has a little crush,” Jess said from behind Rey. The girl blushed brightly at the insinuation.

 

“Listen, the course has three other TAs. Ben doesn’t have to be in all of the classes. Because he is sincere, so he attends them all. But he was feeling tired and I didn’t wake him up, and called his friend, who happily took his place.” Rey shrugged. Picking her jacket and backpack up.

 

“Oh you guys caught the supermoon?” Rose asked, excitedly.

 

“Yeah, it was early morning when we drove back.” Rey answered, turning her back to the girl, dismissing her completely. She was above these petty crushes, but what she wasn’t above was being petty and smug herself. She remembered the hoodie she was currently wearing, and laughed internally. It said, Solo in bold letters. It was Ben’s shirt, from the national cosmology conference he attended on behalf of his department at Coruscant.

 

Rey wore his clothes to college, but today she just wanted to stake a claim, wanted to rub it on all these people’s face. Ben Solo was hers, and Rey wanted to make that clear to everyone.

 

“How was it?” Rose asked excitedly.

 

“It was magical,” Rey answered dreamily.

 

She shouldered her bag, preparing to leave, when Finn sniggered, “I’m sure it was.” He winked at her as she turned to head out of the door.

 

* * *

 

“What’s wrong?” Luke asked, sitting down on the bench beside him. “I heard you were absent today, are you feeling okay?”

 

“Umm, yeah. I’m okay?” Ben answered without turning to look at his uncle. He went on a run and was resting on his regular bench. It was his uncle’s jogging time, and he had a feeling he would run into the man.

 

“So not your meds then?” Luke probed on. And Ben understood his uncle’s worry. Luke took care of him and was more of a constant in his life for most of his life. He understood Ben as they shared the same issues.

 

“No,” Ben said, finally looking at him in the eyes. He saw Luke’s worry lines relaxing before his eyes, replaced by a curious expression.

 

“Hmm, interesting,” Luke observed, “Something happened.”

 

For a second Ben mused if Luke could indeed read minds. And wondered if he was that easy to read.

 

“It’s okay, you don’t have to tell your old uncle.” Luke said, bumping their shoulders, before standing up, “Because I will figure it out.” He added smugly, before turning and jogging away.

 

Ben pushed up on his feet as well, deciding to return home.

 

* * *

 

She usually went to a friend’s apartment on Tuesday night after class, so Ben was turning the keys expecting an empty apartment. But when the door opened, he stopped in his tracks. Rey was sitting on their couch, wearing only his hoodie. Her legs were tucked under the throw blanket. She was reading a book that she put down when he stepped in.

 

Her face broke into a bright smile that simultaneously made his heart stop and start beating again. He walked up to the couch and bent down to kiss her forehead.

 

“Hey sweetheart, how was class?”

 

“It was okay,” she replied, “I’ve got food for you.”

 

“Thanks. Let me go change.”

 

Ben freshened up and grabbed some spicy rice, marinated meat, and salad from the kitchen.

 

“Did you eat?” Ben asked, sitting beside her.

 

“Yeah. I was hungry,” she mumbled apologetically, making him laugh.

 

“It’s okay.” He looked at the TV, “What are we watching?”

 

“This series just came out today, it’s based on a book. The synopsis sounds cool,” she said, looking at the screen, slightly biting her lip. Ben was distracted by her lips.

 

Shaking his head Ben looked down at his food.

 

After watching an episode of the new series, Ben felt Rey dozing off on his chest. She was snoring softly and it made him laugh. He whispered into her hair, “Sweetheart?”

 

Rey hummed, without opening her eyes.

 

“It’s time for bed.”

 

She hummed again, snuggling deeper into his chest.

 

Ben shook his head, turning the TV off. Her legs were crossed over his thighs. He sighed, slowly picking her up in his arms. It was like second nature to carry her in his arms. Rey tucked her head under his chin as Ben walked them to his bedroom.

 

He gently laid her down and sat beside looking down at her beautiful face. She was on her side but her hand was searching for him.

 

“Come to bed,” she mumbled into the pillow. Ben smiled at her demand.

 

He stood up, taking his t-shirt off. Switching off the light, Ben laid down beside her. And as soon as he did that she scooted even closer, nuzzling her face in his neck.

 

Ben wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her closer.

 

“How are you feeling?” she whispered into her skin.

 

Ben smiled, she was worried about him, like she always was.

 

“Hmm.”

 

She pushed up on his chest and looked down at him, suddenly wide awake.

 

“Are you sure?”

 

“Why, am I not supposed to be?” Ben teased.

 

She bit her lower lip, resting her chin on his chest.

 

“I don’t know.” Her eyes looked so wide and innocent. He craned his neck up to kiss the tip of her nose. Rey kept looking at him, her eyes flicking to his lips and back to his eyes.

 

Ben couldn’t wait anymore. She wanted it, so why not?

 

He dug his fingers in her waist and heaved her up and brought her lips up to his.

 

Ben pecked her lips, and waited for her reaction. And she didn’t disappoint.

 

Rey crushed her lips to his. Ben responded in kind. He held the back of her head and pulled her closer. He kissed his Rey back with fervor. She opened her mouth, and gave his tongue access to her sweet mouth. Sucking his tongue in, Rey moaned into his mouth. Ben deepened the kiss and pulled her over his body. Tracing her sides he found the back of her thighs. He squeezed them softly.

 

And soon she pulled away, breathing heavily looking down at him smiling.

 

“Done? Wanna sleep now?” Ben asked, knowing the answer already.

 

She shook her head and kissed him softly.

 

“I’ve only just started.”

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please don't think I'm stretching it just for the sake of it. The relationship has to feel natural. Rushing head first into a relationship will not work for them. Just like everything else, they'd have to ease into this.... as you can see Ben is already willing to just give her whatever she wants of him, and be whatever she needs him to be. He won't ever question, and always put her needs first. And Rey.... well she takes whatever she wants. And she wants her Benny.
> 
> It's still a slow burn, but you will get nuggets.


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I’m sure he’ll be fine. Don’t worry yourself.” Luke gave her side hug, and kissed her temple.
> 
> Rey hugged him back. Talking to Luke calmed her a little bit. It always did. Luke had a calming effect on both her and Ben
> 
> She gave her godfather a sidelong glance. Luke came so close to being her dad. If things between him and her mother ever worked out, and if Ranielle never met her father, she could have been a Skywalker. She didn’t know how she felt about actually being related with the Skywalkers, even though they were more family than her own. But the thought of actually being related to Ben made her shudder. Nope, thank the stars things hadn’t worked out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some Rey Sky feels for you :'D I had to :P okay now Flashbacks are back, I added the bookmark, even though I don't like adding them, but my beta mistook the whole flashback as present time so i had to. that seriously made me doubt my writing. :( anyway. Angst ahead. buckle up.
> 
> OH
> 
> A special shout out to @Kattylovesreylo... (you know why!)
> 
> I commissioned Panda for a precious ART!!!!!

* * *

 

 

Rey loved the feel of his smooth lips against hers. They got even softer while kissing. She took his bottom lip between her own and gave a vicious suck, pulling and letting go.

 

He looked up at her with half lidded eyes and she adored the timid look in them. They were full of want but also hesitation, as if he was afraid of wanting. But Rey was anything but afraid. She wanted him and nothing could stop her in her pursuit.

 

Rey smiled down at him wickedly, as she felt him hardening underneath her. She straddled him with her core pressed against his member and squeezed her thighs, rocking her hips once.

 

Ben groaned, his fingers digging into her back. He pulled her even closer, holding the back of her head and bringing down for another kiss.

 

Rey happily obliged. She rocked her hips a couple more times to enjoy his base reaction. 

 

Soon Ben got impatient and flipped them over, kissing her deeply into a pillow making her heart soar. He was responding unprompted. And Rey counted that as a victory.

 

But right then his phone started to ring on the bedside table.

 

Ben growled before breaking the kiss and pulling her into an embrace. He grabbed the phone from the table and answered the call.

 

“Ben! Did I wake you up?” Ben groaned at his mother's voice.

 

Rey could hear it too. Leia was quite loud.

 

“No mom.” 

 

“Just reminding you that you’re spending the weekend at the house.”

 

“Yes mom.” Ben said.

 

“And we are hosting a family dinner.”

 

Ben craned his neck to look at Rey questioningly. 

 

Rey nodded, before burying her face into the crook of his neck again.

 

“I couldn't reach Rey on her phone. Poor thing must be sleeping.” Leia said more to herself it seemed. 

 

“I’m sure she is.” Ben bit his lips to suppress his laugh. Rey pushed up glaring at him, as she silently slapped his chest.

 

That just made Ben chuckle harder.

 

_ Shut up!  _ Rey mouthed.

 

“Why, where are you?”

 

“Home.” Ben said, pulling the covers over the both of them. Rey snuggled closer, still lying on him.

 

“You didn’t see her coming home?” They heard Leia ask.

 

Rey looked up, resting her chin on his sternum. A wayward strand of hair fell over her eyes. Ben brushed the strand aside, tucking it behind her ear.

 

“Yes. She is home.” Ben said, softly looking into her eyes.

 

“Okay then honey. I will see you two tomorrow.” 

 

“I won’t miss it, mom.” Ben sigh, hanging up.

 

“No you won’t.” Rey said, her hand reaching up, tracing the thin, barely there scar across his left cheek. Everyone was worried about the scar. But to Rey it was a part of him. It couldn’t tarnish his beauty. Ben was as beautiful as ever. 

 

Ben smile, capturing her hand and turning his face into it.

 

“I have learned my lesson.” He said, a little grimly. 

 

“Shh,” She reached up and kissed the beginning of the scar right above his eyebrow. “Don’t say that.” She followed it by two more kissed down the scar. “It happened because it was meant to happen.” Remembering that terrible night she almost lost him.

 

“Yeah, I guess.” Snorting he added, “Like my face needed to be more hideous.”

 

Rey furrowed her brow, “You are so beautiful.”  _ If only you saw yourself through my eyes.  _ Rey thought, without voicing it. She kissed his jaw where the scar ended.

 

“Thank you.” Ben mumbled, there was slight blush on his cheek.

 

“Let’s sleep.” Rey said, snuggling into his chest.

 

“Hmm.” Ben hummed, pulling her even closer. 

 

Rey closed her eyes, flashes of that night from two years ago, playing behind her close lids.

 

* * *

 

**_Flashback_ **

 

“Where are you?” Rey asked, holding her phone close to her mouth. There was a loud sound of fireworks. Rey smacked her lips in irritation. Over enthusiastic neighbors already started to light those. “Everyone is waiting for you.”

 

“I’m sure they are,” he drawled on the other side. “Tell them they can start their dinner without me, because I’m not coming.”

 

“Ben! Why are you acting like this? Is it about Han?” Rey tried to understand. She knew he was drunk, she could tell from his voice, and they way his words were jumbling together. Ben was never the irresponsible one, not in her presence. 

 

He was staying over in D’Qar for the summer, and Rey was so happy to have him around. But then Han returned from his trip. Ben had a fight the other night with his parents and returned back to his apartment.

 

There was a pause, then a mirthless laugh. “It’s about every one of them. I don’t have the patience to be part of their charade.”

 

“You promised, Ben.” Rey pleaded, she hated that her voice cracked.

 

“I did not make any such promises,” he said, almost rudely. Rey was so taken aback by it she went quiet.

 

There was the sound of a bottle opening and then she heard a guy’s voice, “Solo put the phone down and get over here.” There were some other voices cheering and giggling. 

 

“I gotta go, Rey. Have fun at the dinner,” he said, before hanging up.

 

Rey was hurt. Ben had never hung up on her before. She stared at the screen feeling her eyes watering up.

 

“Rey!” Luke called her from the door, “Come inside, it’s getting cold.”

 

She took a moment to collect herself before turning around. She forced a smile but could barely hold back the tears.

 

Luke saw it on her face instantly. “Was it Ben?”

 

Rey bit her lips before nodding.

 

“He isn’t coming, is he?” Luke asked kindly.

 

Rey shook her head, this time wiping her eyes with the back of her hands.

 

Luke sighed, putting his arm around her shoulder. “He is rebelling, and all we can do is give him space. He’ll come around.”

 

“But Leia and Han-” Rey started.

 

Luke interrupted her. “It’s okay Rey. You’re tried. But at the end of the day, he has to figure things out with his parents. And I can’t do anything more because Han and Leia have to try and mend the relationship with their son.”

 

Rey wiped her nose and nodded. “But he doesn’t even like hanging out with those people,  _ his friends. _ This Hux guy isn’t a good influence.”

 

“Hmm, but do you have reason to think that?” Luke asked, not in a patronizing way. He genuinely wanted to know if Rey knew something to back her claim. But she didn’t, expect for a hunch.

 

“No,” she admitted, looking down at her hands. 

 

Luke laughed. “You don’t want to share him and I understand that.”

 

Rey couldn’t protest, it was true. She was Ben’s only friend for all her life, and the idea that she’d have to share him with other people made her angry.

 

And she was worried. Ben was acting up and she just wanted him to be careful.

 

“I’m sure he’ll be fine. Don’t worry yourself.” Luke gave her side hug, and kissed her temple.

 

Rey hugged him back. Talking to Luke calmed her a little bit. It always did. Luke had a calming effect on both her and Ben. 

 

She gave her godfather a sidelong glance. Luke came so close to being her dad. If things between him and her mother ever worked out, and if Ranielle never met her father, she could have been a Skywalker. She didn’t know how she felt about actually being related with the Skywalkers, even though they were more family than her own. But the thought of actually being related to Ben made her shudder. Nope, thank the stars things hadn’t worked out. 

 

They stepped into the house and all eyes trained on them. She saw hope in Leia’s eyes, looking at her. Rey shook her head and saw the sadness flash in Ben’s mother’s eyes. And Rey felt guilty more than ever, and angry at him. Leia and Han were like parents to Rey and they loved Ben so much. Why couldn’t he see that?

 

* * *

 

Hanging up on her made him feel guilty. He shouldn’t have done it. He pulled his phone out to call her but his vision felt blurry. He had a little too much to drink, and it was hard to focus. He was handed another shot of green liquid, the flaming sugar melting on top. And Ben thought what the hell? He downed the liquid, and felt the intense sweetness hitting his throat. Anger with his family was forgotten for a second.

 

After another round of shots, Ben was on a couch with someone on his lap and Hux beside him talking too loudly. The person on top of him was kissing him, and Ben felt his phone vibrating in his pocket. It took him a while to wrap his inebriated head around it.

 

He shoved the person aside and pushed up on his feet. His head spun. He fumbled in his pocket, finally pulling the phone out but it had stopped ringing. Ben started to walk towards the entrance. The club was in a high end hotel in the heart of Coruscant. He didn’t take the right exit and the door he stepped through lead to a gentle’s bar on the same floor. 

 

The sudden bright light hurt his eyes. Ben was trying to focus on his phone and dialing. He was wrong. He should have just gone home. He didn’t have to go to his parents. Just to Rey. Now he couldn’t even drive. His head hurt and he felt nauseous. 

 

His anxiety was on hyperdrive and there were so many people around and too much noise. There was a girl holding his hand pulling him back to the club, telling him to come along. Ben pulled his hand free and walked back, away from the girl.

 

The phone went to voicemail.

 

“Rey- sweetheart, I’m sorry, I’m coming home- I have to call a cab- I’m sorry for hanging up on you, I’m coming-”

 

He was rambling when he bumped into someone.

 

“Oh sorry-” He turned around to apologize but his heart stopped. Ben froze in his spot. It was him. It was Snoke. And the disfigured man gave him a lopsided smile.

 

“Ben! My boy. What a pleasure seeing you here,” Snoke said, putting his hand on Ben’s shoulder. 

 

Ben’s skin burned where the man touched. He shrugged it off and took a few steps back. Old memories rushed back and Ben felt the world closing on him. He wanted to scream and run, which he did. He found a door and ran outside. He was disoriented and Snoke’s voice was in his head, just like old times. 

 

He looked back at the building. Everything looked so big. And he started walking back, holding his head. Next thing he knew there was a loud screeching sound, and bright light of two headlights coming at him.

 

* * *

 

Rey could only hear things like she was underwater. The voices sounded far and distant. Everyone was rushing out and Rey felt sick to her stomach. 

 

“Been in an accident-- Was in a hospital-- In surgery--” 

 

Rey was moving in a daze. The fear of losing him forever was crippling. And Rey didn’t know what she would ever do if that happened. She vaguely remembered being in a car, and being driven somewhere. Maybe to the hospital.

 

When they arrived Luke and her grandfather were the only ones to respond to the situation. Leia was in a state of shock, and Han was petrified. Lando was trying to console the two but failing. Rey couldn't be around them at all. She found a chair in the corner of the waiting room and sat there, hugging her knees.

 

She didn't know how long she sat there just praying to any deity who'd listen to safely bring him back to her. At that moment, Rey knew she wouldn't survive without him. She looked down at her phone and saw it blinking. There was a voicemail from Ben before his accident. She remembered seeing it ring and she was too angry and hurt to pick up. She cursed herself for being so stubborn.

 

Rey opened the message with shaky fingers, tears streaming down her face.

 

Her heart broke listening to his voice, “Rey- sweetheart, I’m sorry, I’m coming home- I have to call a cab- I’m sorry for hanging up on you, I’m coming ho-”

 

He got cut off, as it seemed like he bumped into someone, “Oh I’m sorry-”

 

Rey heard a familiar voice and a cold shudder ran down her back.  _ Snoke! _

 

Ben ran into that monster. She wanted to punch something. Because that could easily be the reason he ran outside into the street. She was horrified. Her Ben was traumatized and she wasn’t there to help him. She shouldn’t have been so childish, he needed her and she ignored him. The thought brought a fresh batch of tears to her eyes.

 

That was when the doctor finally came to find them, Rey felt her heart stop. He had good news. They stopped the internal bleeding and Ben would be up in a bit. He allowed the parents in to see him, but Han insisted upon Rey joining them.

 

When they saw his unconscious face, Leia started crying. Han was rooted to the door, as if not daring to step in. Rey rushed in, almost flinging herself on him, but refrained herself. There was numerous cuts and bruises littering his body, but the most prominent was the bandage covering one side of his face.

 

“What happened to his face?” Han spoke up, before Rey could.

 

“There was a slash across his face. It was quite deep. We tried to mend it together without stitches. But unfortunately there would be a scar.

 

Rey heard Leia crying even harder. “My beautiful baby boy.” She leaned down and kissed his unhurt cheek, running her fingers through his dark hair.

 

Rey was holding his hand, but soon felt him grabbing hers back. He was waking up.

 

Ben slowly opened his eyes, seeing her face first,

 

“Hey sweetheart-” he croaked, then added, “I’m sorry I was a jerk.”

 

Rey couldn’t hold back, she threw herself on him, burying her face in his neck. “Don’t ever do this again.”

 

* * *

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so...... promise you there would be more sexy time. but I had to add the story behind the scar. it's so very important.
> 
> sorry for the long ass chapter.  
>    
> Please let me know you thoughts. love you guys!


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Han stormed in. His face was red and the vein on his temple was on the verge of popping.
> 
> Rey stood up, covering Ben with her small body. But Han's eyes were only on his son. They stared at each other for a moment before Han rushed forward, pushing Rey aside gently. He sat down by his side, right where Rey was sitting moments ago.
> 
> His father touched his cheek, thumb tracing the bandage.
> 
> “I'm sorry, son,” Han said, pulling him in a hug. Ben tried to remember the last time Han hugged him, but couldn't. “I should have been there to protect you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Flash back continues.
> 
> Precious has a Panda art!!!!!
> 
> Check it out here:
> 
> [Precious Supermoon Kiss](https://shwtlee2reylo.tumblr.com/post/171945782673/precious-a-reylo-childhood-friends-au-peering)

 

 

* * *

 

 

When Ben pried his eyes open, the first thing he saw were the bloodshot eyes of his little Rey. She was visibly upset, probably crying. And from the look of it he had something to do with it.

 

Ben tried to remember what he'd done to upset her so much. Flashes of memory played behind his eyelids. He remembered being angry with his parents, going back to campus, getting talked into attending Hux’s party. Hanging up on Rey. _Oh shit!_ He was a complete dick to her.

 

His eyes opened wider as he felt her soft small hand grasping his large ones.

 

“Hey sweetheart-” he croaked, then added, “I’m sorry I was a jerk.”

 

Rey was biting her lips. Ben could tell she was holding herself back. Her resolve broke and she threw herself on him, burying her face in his neck. “Don’t ever do this again.”

 

Ben tried to wrap his arms around her, but they felt numb. Furrowing his brows, he tried to yank them up but felt a pin prick pulling under his skin on the back of his hand.

 

“I could've lost you tonight. Then what would have happened to me?” she sobbed into his neck.

 

The rest of the night came back to him. Panic attack, suffocation, and finally headlights, then it went black.

 

He looked around, information piecing together. He was strapped to a hospital bed. The pinpricks were needles pumping sedatives and painkillers in him. He had been in an accident.

 

Ben then saw his parents standing by the bed, looking at him with an utterly stricken expression. No matter how much he despised them sometimes, his parents were after all just that, his parents. And he was their only child.

 

He could see the fear in their eyes. Fear of losing him.

 

Han was holding his mother and Leia seemed to have aged significantly since the last night he saw her. Ben had never seen his father look this defeated ever in his life either.

 

Rey sniffed and mumbled something into his shoulder.

 

“Hmm?” Ben asked.

 

She pulled up, looking deep into his eyes and asked again, “It was Snoke, wasn't it?”

 

Ben felt the blood draining from his face. “What?”

 

“You let a voicemail to me. You ran into him,” she said sternly, “I heard his voice, Ben.”

 

“Snoke?” Leia rasped. “Ebenezer Snoke?”

 

“Wait-- what does the high school science teacher have anything to do with this accident?” Han asked, confused.

 

“More than enough,” Rey said, sitting up. Her eyes were still trained to his, not breaking contact. “Tell them, Ben. Or I will.”

 

“Rey-" He was trying to divert her question. He didn't want to face it yet. But his Rey was his ultimate savior. She wouldn't stand for his silence.

 

“Don't _Rey_ me. I should have said something long ago,” she gritted.

 

“I don't know if you had heard the rumors about that monster,” Rey spat.

 

“No--" Leia said, covering her mouth. Ben saw her from the corner of his eyes, not daring to look at her.

 

“What? What am I missing? What's going on?” Han asked, looking back and forth between Rey and Leia.

 

Leia rushed forward, holding Ben's face between her hands.

 

“What happened to you?” Leia asked.

 

But Rey cut in before he had to answer. “Nothing, but not for lack of trying on his part. He was mentoring Ben till sophomore year. But Ben left his course out. So Snoke never got the chance,” Rey finished.

 

“Would anyone please explain what's going on?” Han was getting impatient.

 

Leia pulled away from Ben and stormed out of the room. Han followed behind, calling after her.

 

Rey hugged him again. “I'm sorry,” she whispered into his ear, “But I couldn't keep it in anymore.”

 

“It's okay,” Ben croaked again. She was only looking out for him, just like always. “Can you help me up, sweetheart?”

 

“Oh yes,” Rey said, wiping her eyes as she sat up. She pressed some buttons on the bed and it started to fold, getting Ben up to a sitting position.

 

There was a loud nose and Ben heard shouting outside. Then the door burst open. There was a visible dent on the metal surface.

 

Han stormed in. His face was red and the vein on his temple was on the verge of popping.

 

Rey stood up, covering Ben with her small body. But Han's eyes were only on his son. They stared at each other for a moment before Han rushed forward, pushing Rey aside gently. He sat down by his side, right where Rey was sitting moments ago.

 

His father touched his cheek, thumb tracing the bandage.

 

“I'm sorry, son,” Han said, pulling him in a hug. Ben tried to remember the last time Han hugged him, but couldn't. “I should have been there to protect you.”

 

Ben felt his whole body stiffening but Han didn't let go. His father's hands were grasping the back of his head, felt his fingers in his hair. Ben found the action strangely soothing.

 

He felt Han chuckle. “When you were a baby,” his dad added as he kept making soothing circles on the base of his skull, “This would always soothe you down.”

 

They stayed like that for another moment before Han pulled away, and looked straight in his eyes, “I love you, kid.”

 

“It's okay, dad.” Ben couldn't help it, the words slipped out of his mouth, “I love you too.”

 

* * *

 

**Present**

 

The drive back home wasn't too long. They set out around late afternoon. Rey rolled the windows down and looked up at the sky. Ben kept stealing glances at her. The first stars were peeking out in the sky.

 

Ben could see the twinkle in her eyes just like those stars she was so fond of. The wind  played with her loose curls as she rested her chin on her folded arms on the rolled down window.

 

He had the strongest urge touch her but he kept his hands firmly on the steering wheel.

 

“Ben?” she called, still looking out of the window. “Do you remember Kylo?”

 

Ben furrowed his brow and looked at her questioningly.

 

“You know the space prince from a galaxy far far away?” she turned around from the window to look at him.

 

“He was a knight,” he corrected her with a smirk.

 

Rey rolled her eyes, “He was a prince to me.”

 

Ben shook his head, “What about him?”

 

“Nothing I just remembered him,” she said, turning her whole body sideways, resting her head on the seat looking at him.

 

“And?” Ben asked, stealing a glance at her.

 

“And I always picture you as Kylo, my space prince,” she sighed.

 

This time he laughed out loud. Rey wanted to marry this fictional space knight. Ben made that story up to entertain her on those long trips they used to take as kids.

 

“Oh really?”

 

“Yes. You've always been my prince,” he heard her mumble. When he looked back her eyes were shut and she was lightly snoring.

 

Ben drove the rest of the way in silence.

 

Once they were home they had dinner with his mom and dad. Old Ben was out on a trip; he would return tomorrow.

 

Leia told Rey to sleep at their house tonight. Rey shrugged, saying she wasn't tired yet. Ben didn't doubt it; she was asleep the entire drive from Coruscant.

 

After dinner, Rey and Ben went to the cliffside along the back of their houses. They had a favorite spot. There were some natural rock formations that made an amazing observation point.

 

They sat there with the gentle breeze from the ocean they were overlooking on their face.

 

Rey was sitting on his lap leaning against his chest, which was her favorite posture.

 

His mom called after a while, telling him they were going to bed, and he should too. Ben found Rey yawning and had to agree with his mother.

 

“You are tired,” Ben whispered in her ear.

 

“Hmm,” Rey nuzzled his jaw. “Let's go to bed.”

 

Ben was taken aback for a second, but she was already pulling him towards the Kenobi residence.

 

They climbed the stairs, navigating in dark. He swallowed, thinking he never spent a night in her room.

 

Rey had the tendency to climb in his bed at night. Even if they put her to bed. She'd wake up middle of the night, cross the street, in her pajamas and socks, and go straight to his room, and to his bed. Ben woke up many nights with a small and cold body hugging him from behind.

 

Ben followed her as she led them up the stairs to her room. Her room was decorated in a light shade of blue. Her queen bed wasn’t anywhere near the size of his bed. But it wasn't like they needed much space, considering most nights she slept cuddled into his arm or on top of him.

 

Since the night of the eclipse, she quite literally started staying in his room. She shared his bed, used his ensuite, even changed in his room. Not that Ben was complaining, but everytime she started changing in front of him all his blood would start rushing to his groin. It was a serious issue. But Rey didn’t seem to be bothered by that. Rather she quite liked the attention. His Rey really was a little minx.

 

Rey closed the door behind them and pushed him on her bed. He sat on the edge as Rey pulled his shirt over his head.

 

Ben stared up at her, as she smiled. “I wanna feel your skin, Benny.”

 

He chuckled, “So demanding.”

 

Rey smirked, as she pulled her own shirt off before she climbed on top. She pressed her soft breasts to his chest. Ben loved the feel her perky nipples against his skin. He looked down at them, they were so cute. Pink and puckering up proudly.

 

“You wanna touched them?” she asked.

 

Ben swallowed before answering, “Yeah.”

 

Sitting back on his thighs, Rey held his hands and brought them up to place over her breasts.

 

Ben felt his breath getting caught in his chest. They were warm and even softer than he'd imagined.

 

He gave them a slight squeeze, and heard her moan in reaction. Encouraged by her enthusiasm, he started to slowly squeeze and fondle with her mounds. Taking both the nipple between his fingers, he lightly pulled and tweaked them. Rey hissed down at him with half lidded eyes.

 

“Is it okay?” he asked timidly.

 

“Mmhmm,” she hummed, ducking down and pecking his lips. Ben kissed her back with more fervor as he kept playing with her beautiful tits.

 

The kiss turned into a heavy make out session and after a few more minutes Rey pulled away, pushing his hands down on her torso.

 

Ben looked up in confusion.

 

“Too sensitive,” she rasped, her mouth red and cheeks were flushed.

 

Ben slid his hands to her back, making soothing patterns on her skin with his thumbs.

 

“It's okay. Let's sleep now,” Ben said. Her body was just raw nerves now, and Ben would only go as far as she was willing to.

 

Rey nodded, burying her face into his shoulder.

 

Ben wrapped his one arm around her waist and with the other hand pushed backwards. He laid down with her on his chest.

 

She was lying over him and Ben quickly pulled the covers over them.

 

Rey pushed up, giving him one last kiss, returning her face to his neck again.

 

“Good night, Ben,” she said in a sleepy voice.

 

Ben smiled down at her. She was his heart, and he could never deny it. Rey was the most precious thing in his life, and he forever wanted to keep her in his arms.

 

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> She is VERY sensitive.Okay? ;-)  
> Patience young padawans...they are getting there. 
> 
> Ben is in a better place mentally than he was before. Because this ben has resolved the those difficult issues. We get to see them being resolved slowly thru the flashbacks.
> 
> Let me know your thoughts in the comments.


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> His head was titled to the side, resting on his folded arm. Broad shoulder tensed even in his sleep, biceps flexing with every breath.
> 
> Rey swallowed, her throat getting dry just by looking at his sleeping face. He looked so gorgeous even in his sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys.... read with caution.

* * *

 

Rey woke up that morning with a moan on her lips. A warm hardness pressed against her core. It was slightly throbbing, almost pulsating beneath her. She moved slightly to stretch her sleepy body. But stopped when he made a throaty noise. Rey slowly opened her eyes to find Ben sleeping under her.

 

His head was tilted to the side, resting on his folded arm. Broad shoulder tensed even in his sleep, biceps flexing with every breath.

 

Rey swallowed, her throat getting dry just by looking at his face. He looked so gorgeous even in his sleep.

 

She buried her face in his chest as she felt herself blushing. Then she felt him slightly buck against her center.

 

It took all her will to not moan out loud, when the thick head of his hardened cock brushed against her sensitive pantie covered clit.

 

One of his hand was on her waist, fingers digging into the flesh. The other one was cupping one of her butt cheeks. He pulled her down, even closer on his body, then bucked against her one more time.

 

Rey squirmed, lips pressed onto his left pectoral. Her hands automatically reached up, dipping into the soft hair in the back of his head.

 

Ben soon started pushing up in a rhythmic pattern, the tip of his cock hitting her clit with every upward thrust.

 

It get a little erratic and Rey felt herself being flipped over. Their positions reversed Ben was on top of her. But the moment he pushed against her again, his eyes opened.

 

It took a moment for his sleepy and horny brain to catch up with the situation he got himself into so early in the morning.

 

Rey could see the comprehension dawning on him. He slowly looked down meeting her eyes. And if it was possible, his eyes got even wider. He took a second before pushing up, getting off her body.

 

He turned his back to her, sitting up on the edge, and getting on his feet.

 

“I'm so-sorry,” he stuttered before rushing into her ensuite.

 

Rey sighed. He would never stop holding back. But she wasn't going to let him run from her this time. It seemed like she'd have to fight for what's hers. And Rey always loved a challenge.

 

* * *

 

Ben rushed to the shower, mentally berating himself for being so star-damned stupid. He needed to stop acting like a horny teenager. But his body was acting completely against him.

 

It's like with Rey he was really discovering his sexuality. Which was messed up on many levels but it seemed like the most dramatic reaction was from his body.

 

Every time he felt her soft and supple body against him, all his nerve endings turned erratic. And he wanted to do more than just touch and kiss her. He wanted to consume her. Taste and worship every part of her beautiful body.

 

Well thinking about it wasn't helping his cause. He turned on her shower deciding to take a cold one. But as soon as he turned it on, his hand automatically turned the dial to hot.

 

He needed to do something about his throbbing cock. Or he'd explode. He was looking down at his hardened member, thinking about the moral implications of touching himself in _his_ Rey's bathroom, while she was right outside.

 

Then he heard the glass door opening and a cool air hit his backside. The door closed and a small frame held him from behind. Her dainty hand came around his waist and slid down his torso. Ben felt himself shiver under her touch.

 

Rey pressed her face in his wet back, and placed feather light kisses down his spine.

 

Her hand slowly moved down over his crotch. She waited a moment before tenderly taking his hardered cock in her small hand.

 

Ben took a sharp intake of breath the moment Rey's fingers wrapped around him.

 

“Rey-" Ben said throatily.

 

“Let me help you, Ben,” she whispered into his back, “I want to.”

 

She slid her fist down his shaft once.

 

“Oh sweetheart-" Ben groaned.

 

She brought her other hand up over his chest, resting right over his heart. He was sure she could feel his heart beating out of his chest.

 

“Oh Benny-" Rey murmured, “Would you teach me, how you like it?”

 

Ben felt like he'd come right there. She made the question sound so innocent, almost like she was asking him to show her how to derive the relatively equation.

 

He brought his shaky hand down from where he'd placed it on the shower wall. Ben wrapped his own fingers over hers, and slowly moved her hand up and down his cock.

 

Shutting his eyes Ben let out a throaty moan, he brought his other hand up and interlaced over hers over his heart, as he guide her other hand on his member.

 

Like always, his Rey of sunshine was a quick study. Soon she was moving on her own at the pace he liked. She snuck her thumb up and swiped over the sensitive head, along the slit. She did that after every other stroke. Exactly the way he liked.

 

Masturbation for Ben was a couple of rough tugs and a quick fix, followed by a lot of guilt and disgust.

 

This morning it felt completely different. He closed his eyes to feel each and every stroke of her hand. Every bit of his raised skin was tingling with pleasure.

 

Ben felt his toes curl back as he let out a muffled shout when he finally came. Peering down with barely opened eyes he saw his spend getting washed down. And her dainty fingers covered in it.

 

He was sure, that might have been one of the most erotic scenes he'd witnessed in his life. Ben slowly turned around in her arms to look at her.

 

Rey was standing there with wet hair curtaining her flushed face. She looked up at him through her lashes, and slowly brought her cum covered fingers up to her mouth.

 

If he wasn't so utterly spent, Ben was sure he'd have came again just from the sight of her.

 

She licked it clean in front of him, making a delighted sound while sucking her own fingers. All the while her eyes trained at him.

 

Ben couldn't hold back anymore. He rushed forward picked her up in his arms. Her thighs instantly wrapped around his waist. He kissed her with urgency. Teeth clashing together as he pressed her against the glass wall.

 

They were like that, locked in each other's embrace making out until the water started to run cooler. Rey slid down in her feet, as Ben kept kissing her, not willing to let her go just yet.

 

Rey turned around to get her loofa and squeezed some body wash on it. But Ben kept her pressed up against his chest kissing her shoulder and her neck, his hands cupping and squeezing her soft breasts.

 

She started to slowly wash her body then turned around and started rubbing the loofa on his body, washing him carefully as well.

 

Once they were sufficiently clean, they let the water run the soap down. Rey reached for her shampoo, pouring a generous amount on her hand and started lathering it in his hair.

 

Her fingers in his hair was almost as orgasmic as having them around his cock. Rey put special attention to his hair, almost like she had wanted to do this for a long time.

 

Ben helped her wash her silky soft hair as well, rinsing them up and then wrapping a big fluffy towel around them before stepping out of the shower.

 

He stepped out. Rey grasped his shoulder as she tried to step onto the towel rug. Ben turned around to find her struggling with wet feet.

 

His lips turn up in the corner. She really was too adorable. He turned around and scooped up on his arms, off her feet.

 

His sudden action made Rey giggle. She let him carry her to the bed and set her down.

 

Ben sat down beside her, wondering where she threw his shirt from last night.

 

Rey might have caught the drift of his thought. She got up and opened her closet. After rummaging through her luggage, she pulled out a white t-shirt, one she had borrowed a few days ago.

 

Ben pulled it on, he could smell her scent on it. And didn’t mind her essence engulfing him.

 

Rey dropped her towel and walked into her closet. Ben knew she did it intentionally. Not like he hadn’t seen her change before and they just took a shower together. Ben stood there looking at his phone, trying to divert his mind, and stopping himself from stealing glances at the Rey. She was out, wearing a plain white bra and panties.

 

She pulled on a short knee length dress with flower patterns. Ben watched as she changed and blow dried her hair. He felt like touching her, so he got up and walked behind her. Moving her hair aside, Ben kissed the back of her slender neck.

 

Rey smiled, turning in his arms, and pecking his bottom lip lightly. Ben nudged the tip of her nose with his.

 

“We have to be back at my parents for breakfast,” Ben said, into her hair. Rey was snuggling her face into his chest.

 

She hummed, detangling herself from his embrace.

 

Ben was following her down the stairs, when the front door opened and Old Ben walked in. His coat folded over his arms, he was wheeling his small luggage along. Rey’s grandpa looked up at them when Rey squealed, skipping her way down the last set of stairs.

 

She threw her arms around Old Ben, who laughed returning the affection. Ben quietly made his way down the stairs. Standing behind Rey. He couldn’t help but notice a strange look on his name sake’s face.

 

“Good morning, Ben,” He greeted the older man.

 

“Likewise,” Ben Kenobi said in his usual graceful accent.

 

“Ben stayed over,” Rey informed in an excited voice.

 

But Ben knew her grandfather had already noticed that his wet hair and he was certain the slight guilt he was harboring was quite visible on his face.

 

Old Ben smiled, letting go of Rey and hugging Ben as well.

 

“How are you two?” He asked them both.

 

“Oh we are just going back to Leia’s for breakfast,” Rey informed him. “You need to come too.”

 

“I will meet you there, darling,” Rey’s grandpa told her, touching her cheek for a moment.

 

He walked passed them, walking up the stairs.

 

Ben interlaced his fingers in hers and pulled her out of the door, walking towards Ben’s childhood home.

* * *

 

Visuals.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not a tease o-kay. I do give. You just gotta be a little..patient. *runs away*
> 
> *comes back* those of you who wanted Grandpa Ben. :p
> 
> Let me know your thoughts in the comments. And demands as well. ;-)


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Oh I adore this one. How old was he then?” Maz asked out loud.
> 
> Luke walked up to piano too, nursing his own tumbler of scotch in his hand. He ducked down, looking closely at the photo through his glasses.
> 
> “He was probably 6 months old. Right Leia?”
> 
> His mother hummed, looking down at the photo with soft adoring eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so something happened and I almost didn't want to write the fic anymore, but then I womanned up. Thanks for your constant support and love.
> 
> So angst ahead.
> 
> The photo they discussed on the chapter is added in the aesthetic.

* * *

 

 

Ben and Rey spent the day together, and got back home when his mother called Rey on her phone.

 

When they entered Ben found five pairs of eyes turning on them. He gulped, anxiety creeping on the edge of his mind. He felt Rey's fingers tightening around his, anchoring him. He took a deep breath and tired to focus on the warmth of her palm.

 

Once Rey shut the door behind them, a little harder than strictly needed, everyone got back what they were doing.

 

His great Aunt Ahsoka was sitting, with Old Ben, occupying the two arm chairs by the fireplace on the far corner. They were talking to each other in a hushed tone.

 

His parents, as always were bickering in the kitchen. It could be heard from the living room. They saw Luke walking out of there munching on a piece of lettuce. 

 

“Hey kids,” Luke said, walking past them settling on the ottoman between Ahsoka and Old Ben.

 

His Uncle Lando got up from the couch and hugged them both, lingering on Rey a little too long, much to Ben's dismay. Lando would never learn.

 

Rey laughed at his joke that made the old man even more jolly. Ben left her there to help out his parents.

 

As predicted, they were arguing over some silly thing.

 

Although when they saw Ben, they just stopped and smiled at him. He'd noticed the change in his parents since his- accident. They were nicer to each other around him and were actually putting an effort to be better parents. And Ben did appreciate the effort.

 

“You guys need help?” Ben asked.

 

“Yeah, can you get the plates?” his mom said over her shoulder, as she left the kitchen.

 

His dad handed him the china, and picked up the cutlery as they followed his mother out.

 

Rey helped him and his father to set up the table, while his mother poured Maz wine. Maz was sitting on the piano seat. She took a sip and chuckled looking at the family photos Leia kept on the top of the piano.

 

“Oh I adore this one. How old was he then?” Maz asked out loud.

 

Luke walked up to piano too, nursing his own tumbler of scotch in his hand. He ducked down, looking closely at the photo through his glasses.

 

“He was probably 6 months old. Right Leia?” 

 

His mother hummed, looking down at the photo with soft adoring eyes.

 

Rey skipped to their side, and had a wide grin on her face as she picked up the photo they were all talking about. Ben had a glimpse and he rolled his eyes. His dad was looking at him from across the table with a crooked smile on his face and one of his brows raised in his usual cocky way.

 

It was the photo of him as a baby, sitting on his father’s lap. He was sitting on the very seat Maz was sitting now, playing the piano. His baby self was trying to imitate Han, and slapping his tiny palms on the keys. 

 

Ben always liked that photo, his dad looked like he really loved Ben, which growing up he always doubted.

 

“This is my favorite photo of baby Ben,” Rey squeaked as Leia’s best friend, his Aunt Amilyn looked over her shoulder.

 

“Aww, look at those chubby cheeks,” Amilyn laughed, looking back at Ben. 

 

Ben felt his cheeks burning under the attention. He ducked his head, rubbing the back of his neck. Rey looked straight at him and gave the baby photo a kiss, before putting it down. He felt his heart beating a little faster. 

 

His dad slapped the back of his shoulder, squeezing it a little. He turned around to stare at the blue eyes of Han Solo. There was so much emotion in them, but he reigned them in, “Let’s eat.”

 

* * *

Halfway through the dinner someone brought something up that made Ben feel like everything he had eaten will come back up.

 

“Did you know what happened to that pervert Physics teacher from D’Qar High?” Lando asked to no one in particular. 

 

Leia looked like the color drained out of her face. Ben didn’t even dare to look at Rey, who was sitting on his right hand side.

 

Luke seeing the inevitable situation, tried to diffuse it. “Yes he was convicted and went to prison,” his uncle said, with a finality in his voice.

 

“That beast,” Maz cursed under her breath. Beside her Chewie made a growling noise. Ben felt his father shifting in his chair. He looked up to see Han’s finger tightening around the steak knife.

 

Ben tried to fight down the nausea. He felt Rey’s hand on his, and looked up to see her understanding eyes.

 

“Well that’s the thing,” Lando kept going, “The bastard was stabbed to death in prison.”

 

Ben felt his stomach drop. He couldn’t handle it anymore-- he needed air.

 

“Pedophiles never live out their incarceration,” Ben heard Lando saying as he stood up. The back legs of his chair scraped on the floor. He knocked the table in his haste too, but couldn’t bother to care. He felt his trauma’s rushing back. Memories of those boney hands on his thighs. 

 

Ben rushed out of the balcony door. The cool air hit his face and he could finally breathe. Ben walked towards the railing with numb legs. He leaned against the railing closing his eyes.

 

There was the sound of the door sliding open. Han walked up to Ben, standing beside him, clearing his throat.

 

“You okay, kid?” he gruffed.

 

Ben nodded. He thanked the stars he chose to wear his glasses, and not his contacts.

 

“You know I’m proud of you right?” Han said, looking straight, not meeting his eyes.

 

“You are?” Ben asked. He hated the fact that his voice broke, making him sound so needy, desperate for his father's approval.

 

“You are kidding me? I’ve got the smartest kid in the world,” Han chuckled, making Ben laugh.

 

His dad bumped his shoulder with his, “I know you don’t wanna face them. I’m gonna kick them to the living room so you can take the back stairs to your room.” Han jerked his head, “What do ya say, game?”

 

Ben nodded, laughing through his tears. 

 

Han started walking back towards the house. Ben turned around, and before he could stop himself the words tore out of his mouth. “I love you, Dad.”

 

Han stopped in his tracks and looked over his shoulder, “I love you too, kid.” 

 

* * *

Ben stepped inside the house after a couple of minutes. True to his word, Han had shooed everyone to the living room. He could still hear their muffled voices from the other room.

 

He took the back staircase through the kitchen two at a time, and finally took a breath when he was inside his bedroom. Locking the door, he leaned his back against it. 

 

Eyes closed, Ben tried to center himself, trying to calm his heartbeat. His hands were in fists on his sides.

 

“Ben?” he heard a timid voice.

 

Slowly opening his eyes, Ben searched for the voice. His eyes adjusted to the darkness in his room, he knew who it was. She was just sitting on his bed. Her silhouette was prominent against the light coming from his window.

 

Ben rushed forward, kneeling in front of her, wrapping his arms around her waist, burying his face into her stomach.

 

He couldn’t hold back the tears anymore. She was home, the only person he could be absolutely honest with.

 

Rey ran her nimble fingers through his hair. Ben felt a shiver run down his back, feeling his agitation simmer down with every stroke. She knew exactly what he needed to calm down.

 

Ben found himself kissing her clothed stomach. It wasn’t sexually charged at all. It was more about feeling her close. He rubbed his face on her stomach and between her breasts.

 

Her fingers tightened into his hair. Ben ran his hands up her side, feeling her curve and softness under his palms. She was his heart, everything that was precious and pure in his life. Touching her was like purging his soul of all his darkness and all the impurities that plagued his life. 

 

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> let me know your thoughts on Han and Ben moments. And yea Snoke is dead. That's Canon.
> 
> what do think will happen next? ;=)


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leia pulled back and looked up at Ben. Then she reached up and touched his cheek.
> 
> “Were you sleeping?” His mother asked.
> 
> “Um..” Ben scratched the back of head, “Yeah.”
> 
> “Is Rey with you?” Leia asked, peeking into the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahem, ahem.... your wish is my command.
> 
> ALso, I wrote moments with Han last chapter and thought of adding some Leia Mos too

* * *

 

 

Rey wrapped her arms around his head, hugging him even closer to her chest. He felt her lips on top of his head.

 

“Oh Ben,” she sighed.

 

Ben felt his heart exploding inside his chest. Her voice was so soft and full of love, he didn’t know if he deserved to be called like that.

  


“Rey, Rey, my Rey.” He chanted into her skin, laying soft kisses up her torso and between her breasts. He looked up meeting her eyes. She stared down at him with sleepy eyes.

 

Ben raised up, capturing her perfect lips, leaning over her as she laid back on his bed. Climbing on top, he kissed her deeply into his pillows. He was careful not to smother her, lifting his weight up on one of his arms. His other hand roamed down her body. He reached the hem of the dress she was wearing, and the moment his fingers touched her bare skin, Rey moaned into his mouth. Ben felt the goosebumps on her skin.

 

Pulling away from her mouth, he looked down her body. Her legs were exposed and covered in prominent goosebumps. He ran his finger down her raised skin and felt her shudder under his touch.

 

He chuckled, his little dandelion was so very sensitive. He wondered how would she react if he just-

 

Ben ducked down and started kissing up her thigh. Rey shivered again, her hand reaching down, grabbing the back of his head. Encouraged by her reaction, Ben started leaving wet kisses, wrapping his mouth around the soft patches of skin, sucking deeply. He was leaving red marks behind, and was abundantly aware of the fact.

 

Slowing pulling the hem of her dress up, he revealed her creamy skin to himself. He had seen her in various state of undress before, but to be between her legs was something utterly new and tantalizing.

 

Ben licked his lips as he looked at her face. Her eyes were shut tight and she was biting down her lips.

 

He nuzzled his nose on her left thigh, and spoke into her skin, “Are you okay, sweetheart?”

 

Rey’s eyes shot open. She got up on her elbow to look at him. “Yes,” she nodded, “I’m okay.” She stuttered so cute. Ben chuckled into her thigh, nibbling on the skin.

 

“Okay,” he said, parting her legs further, putting the left leg over his shoulder, as he settled between her parted thighs.

 

She was wearing white cotton panties which looked sexier than anything Ben Solo had seen in his time of reckless adventure. He traced his fingers over her pantie covered pussy and found her visibly wet.

 

Ben sucked in a sharp breath, his thumb still tracing her wet panties. He heard Rey groan and look up. Her cheeks were flushed and eyes full of longing.

 

“May I?” Ben asked before he could move forward.

 

Rey nodded her head eagerly, making him smile. He pulled the panty aside and looked at her wet slit. Her pink little pussy was perfect, just like every other part of her.

 

Ben leaned down and gave her slit a experimental lick.

 

“Be-en!” Rey gasped.

 

“It’s okay, baby, I’ve got you,” he cooed. She was so very sensitive and perfectly turned on. It made his own blood run hot.

 

He rubbed his thumb on the back of her thigh in a soothing motion to make her comfortable.

 

“Do you want me to stop?” Ben asked tentatively.

 

“No- please don’t stop,” she gasped.

 

This time Ben did laugh out loud. “As you wish,” he said with his best crooked smile before diving into her sweet core.

 

He kissed her clit, then swirled his tongue around the sensitive bud. Rey bucked her hips against his mouth. So Ben moved away, pulling her panties down her thighs. She was gloriously bare in front of him.

 

This time Ben threw both her legs over his shoulders. Rey didn’t wait before caging his head between her thighs, making him smile at her eagerness.

 

Ben didn’t wait long before diving back. Without the panties as an obstruction, he could lick all the way up her slit. She was slick with want, want for his touch, and that thought alone set him on the edge.

 

He dipped his tongue in her tight little pussy, feeling the walls closing on him. He nudged his nose on her clit as he moved his tongue in and out of her.

 

He kept it up until he felt her fingers back in his hair.

 

“Oh Ben..” she moaned his name, making him pull his mouth away. He replaced his tongue with one of his fingers. She took him in easily, her walls closing snuggly around his digit.

 

He could reach further into her with his long finger and Ben could tell Rey appreciated that. Her body gave off another shudder as she pulled his head back on her.

 

Ben was more than willing to oblige. As his finger pumped into her, he lapped on her sweet juice. She tasted heavenly.

 

“Oh sweetheart, you taste so good,” he whispered against her wet core. He realized now that he had tasted her, he could never have enough of it.

 

“Ben, ohh,” she groaned, turning her head to a side and burying her face into the pillow.

 

“Tell me how does it feel, baby?” Ben crooned, entering another finger inside her.

 

“It feel-” Rey started, as Ben hooked his digit in a come hither motion. “Oh, it feels so good.”

 

Ben kept fucking her tight little pussy with his thick fingers, noticing every miniscule change on her beautiful face; changing his pace based on her expressions.

 

He increased his speed, as he simultaneously started rubbing her clit with his thumb. He suddenly felt a rough patch of skin deep inside her. Rey jumped when his fingered made the contact.

 

“There-” she rasped, “Ah-”

 

Ben smirked, feeling smug at finding her secret pleasure spot on their first try.

 

“Here, baby?” he asked, nudging the skin again with the tip of his finger.

 

“Yes!” she let out a tiny scream.

 

“Keep it down, sweetheart. We don’t want to give anyone a heart attack now,” he murmured before bending down and taking her sensitive bud of nerves in his mouth.

 

Rey bucked her hips against his face again, but Ben held her still. He knew she was getting close. And thanked his stars that he locked the door to his bedroom earlier. He knew there was music playing downstairs. He also thanked his grandpa Bail for making the wall of this house soundproof.

 

Because his little Rey of light was going to have her orgasm soon and she would not be quiet about it.

 

Ben gave her clit one last rough suck when he felt her pussy tightening around his fingers. He brush his finger tips against her sensitive spot one last time when she finally came with a scream.

 

She managed to bury her face on the pillow one more time in an attempt to muffle her passionate reaction. Ben pulled away, just to take in her base, unadulterated reaction.

 

She looked so gorgeous in her ecstasy. Ben wanted to capture that moment in his memory forever. Feeling her cum leaking out around his fingers, Ben returned his attention back to her beautiful pussy.

 

Pulling his finger out, he put them directly in his mouth, tasting her juice, once again. When his fingers were licked clean, he started lapping up the cum that managed to gush out of her. He licked her pussy clean, and looked up when he felt her fingers dipping in his hair again.

 

Rey was on her elbows again, looking at him with so much emotion. He rushed up and kissed her once again.

 

“Oh Ben,” she moaned into his mouth. He knew she could taste herself on his lips.

 

“You liked it?” Ben asked her with uncertainty.

 

“I loved it, thank you,” she said, kissing him deeply and pulling him down with her.

 

He laid down, hugging her to his chest. She felt so small in his arms.

 

“How are you feeling?” she asked, craning her head up.

 

“I feel- great,” Ben answered truthfully. He really did with her taste fresh in his mouth. And that was the most erotic moment of his life, closely followed by this morning’s shower activity. He had so much endorphins flowing in his brain, he wouldn’t be able to think about anything depressing even if he wanted to.

 

He pulled Rey even closer, pulling the duvet over their bodies.

 

“Let’s sleep now,” he whispered into her hair.

 

“Mmm, let’s.” Rey yawned, closing her eyes.

 

* * *

 

Ben woke up with a light knock on his door. He open his eyes and found Rey tucked under his arm, her back flush to his chest. She was snoring softly and her breath was tickling his skin.

 

There was another knock and Ben craned his neck to look back. He pushed up, on his elbow and felt Rey squirm at the lost of his warmth. He got up and tucked the duvet tighter around her placing his pillow on her back, just the way she liked it.

 

He was still wearing his jeans and his sweater. No wonder he was so warm. He took his glasses, wiping it with his shirt, as he padded towards the door. Opening the door Ben squinted in the bright light coming from the hallway. He put his glasses back on and focused on his mother, standing in the hall.

 

Before Ben could assess the situation Leia wrapped her arms around his torso, hugging his midsection. He didn’t know how to react to the gesture so he awkwardly patted her back. His mother was so small compared to him. Dimurative woman possess so much strength in character she always stood tall. But moments like this he saw the vulnerable side of his mother.

 

Leia pulled back and looked up at Ben. Then she reached up and touched his cheek.

 

“Were you sleeping?” His mother asked.

 

“Um..” Ben scratched the back of head, “Yeah.”

 

“Is Rey with you?” Leia asked, peeking into the room.

 

Ben let go of the door, letting it open further. The light from the hallway illuminated his dark room, falling directly on Rey’s sleeping body on his bed. She made a face when the light fell on his face. Ben and Leia, both chuckled at her annoyance.

 

“She looks so cute when she sleeps.” Leia commented fondly.

 

“Yeah, she does.” Ben couldn’t help but agree.

 

“I will let Old Ben know she is sleeping over.” Leia informed him.

 

Ben nodded. It wasn’t something unusual. More often than none Rey would manage to pass out in his bed. And they’d share his bed. Although today it was slightly different than just platonic. He just hoped his very intuitive mother didn’t catch the drift.

 

Leia reached up and brushed the hair from his eyes, snapping him out of his thoughts.

 

“You should sleep too.” She told him softly.

 

“Good mom.” Ben nodded.

 

“Goodnight, Baby.” She said, turning around from him, as Ben shut the door behind her.

 

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope y'all liked the visuals. and let me know your thoughts.
> 
> I have been very sick lately, maybe the end is nigh, or not. Having hard time writing, but I shall push through, you guys have my back, and I really appreciated all your kind support, and cherish every single comments, reply,reblogs and kudos.
> 
> Love you, my Precious Fam.


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The midterms were here. Rey was trying to remember the theories she had learned and equations she tried very hard to derive all semester. But in the moments before the exam she felt like her brain blanked out, and she was almost starting to hyperventilate as she walked across the Lacrosse field towards her academy building C.
> 
> But then she felt someone taking her cold nervous hand and engulfed it in plush warmth. Rey turned to look at her side to find a tall hooded figure walking beside her.
> 
> He gave her one of his crooked smiles, before pulling her aside, into an alcove between pillars. Rey yelped at his sudden maneuver. She was pressed against the wall in a second and his lips were covering hers instantly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry guys for disappearing on you. I’m back again with precious. Those who follow me on Tumblr know I was working on my new Fic [**What's Meant To Be**](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14295738) . It will be a short fic and already is half way thru, if you guys wanna give it a try?
> 
> Shout out to my Beta Squad @reylorobyn2011 and @noriselly. And my attentive sounding board @kattylovesreylo. Enjoy!

 

* * *

 

 

The midterms were here. Rey was trying to remember the theories she had learned and equations she tried very hard to derive all semester. But in the moments before the exam she felt like her brain blanked out, and she was almost starting to hyperventilate as she walked across the Lacrosse field towards her academy building C.

 

But then she felt someone taking her cold nervous hand and engulfed it in plush warmth. Rey turned to look at her side to find a tall hooded figure walking beside her.

 

He gave her one of his crooked smiles, before pulling her aside, into an alcove between pillars. Rey yelped at his sudden maneuver. She was pressed against the wall in a second and his lips were covering hers instantly.

 

“You left without waking me up,” he complained pulling away. Rey was still catching up her breath as he traced her lower lips with his thumb.

 

“Running late. You were asleep,” Rey answered getting up on her tiptoes to kiss the tip of his nose.

 

Biting her lips she turned around to look at the passageway.

 

“What happened?” Ben asked trying to see what she was looking at.

 

“Nothing,” Rey mumbled looking down. She was still holding her textbook. It's not helping her. It isn't like she was studying or anything.

 

“Hey…” Ben said, cupping her face. “Don't be nervous. You studied so hard. You've got this.”

 

His voice changed from flirtatious to her lifelong mentor in seconds. Ben’s priority had always been Rey's education. And if she was honest it wasn't even about the exam.

 

Rey did study hard for it. But this anxiety was for some reason churning inside her belly. She was happy. For once in her life she felt like she had everything. Nothing was missing.

 

But that only triggered her fear for something ominous was about to happen.

 

He kissed her forehead, snapping Rey out of her thoughts.

 

“Best of luck. You'll do great,” he said letting her go, “Don't be late.”

 

* * *

 

Ben waited until Rey went inside her exam hall then started heading towards lab. He had some reports to rewrite and check some sophomore exam papers from one of his uncle's classes.

 

It wasn't easy to a become TA or lab teacher in Skywalker's classes. Some people might assume it was smooth sailing for Ben who was for all intents and purposes a Skywalker. But he had to fight tooth and nail for this opportunity.

 

He reached the lab went to his usual cubicle to find a pile of papers to grade.

 

After an hour of grading, Ben decided to take a break. He was bouncing a stress ball on the wall when Hux poked his head around the wall.

 

“Hey!” Ben's friend greeted as he flopped himself on the chair across from him.

 

“Hey,” Ben replied not in a very cheerful manner.

 

“Oh you sound happy to see me,” Hux snarked, taking an apple out of his bag and biting into it. “When are you done?”

 

“Just finished grading Skywalker's Sophomore papers,” Ben remarked, shutting his laptop and putting it in his bag. “Going to tweak my paper when I go home.”

 

“So you are free?” Hux concluded even though Ben mentioned his agenda.

 

“Yeah free to go home,” Ben stressed upon the fact.

 

“No you are coming to the cantina with me,” Hux declared. “C'mon Benny Boy. We haven't hung out even once this month.”

 

Ben wasn't in the mood for his whining. And figured if he went out tonight he wouldn't have to do this for a while. Besides Rey had two back to back exams tonight. And she wouldn't be home until late.

 

Considering all the variables, Ben agreed to go to the cantina with Hux.

 

* * *

 

They were having beers sitting at a booth. Ben sat there fidgeting in the loud noise of Cantina music. Hux was in his element. He was flirting with someone behind Ben. Making eye contact. Ben ignored it, not curious enough to investigate.

 

He finished his bottle, felt the alcohol dulling his senses. But anxiety still remained under the haze. He placed the empty bottle on the table, thinking of calling it a day, Ben tried to get up.

 

“Where are you going?” Hux said in an annoyed voice.

 

“Home,” Ben furrowed his brows, thinking it should be self explanatory.

 

“Yeah but why? It's only 9.30. You don't have class tomorrow.”

 

Ben rolled his eyes and was about to counter him, when his phone started to vibrate on top of the table. He held up his hand and answered the phone.

 

“Yeah. Where are you?” he asked whoever was on the phone. “Yeah in the booth area near the bar. Okay. Cool.” He hung up.

 

“You already have company. You don't need me,” Ben said, trying to leave.

 

“But you need me,” Hux exasperated, “You need an intervention, Solo.”

 

“I- what?” Ben was beyond confused.

 

“You do. We need to fix this. You never go out, you are either at the lab or the class or at home. You bail out of every time I try to organize something. You didn't go on a date for almost more than two years. I know you didn't hook up with anyone either in this time. What's going on, man?” Hux ranted.

 

“Nothing is going on and those are not _your_ concerns. And what I do or do not is none of your business!” Ben told him. He was more than a little annoyed by Hux.

 

“Well it is. You are my buddy. I'm your wingman.”

 

“I don't need a wingman,” Ben spat out. “I don't have time for this, I need to go home.”

 

“Why do you need to go home?” Hux asked, sardonically, folding his arms across his chest.

 

“Rey had two final exams today. And she was feeling anxious. I want to know if she is doing okay.”

 

“Oh _her_ again,” Hux shook his head.

 

“What do you mean by her again?” Ben asked, narrowing his eyes.

 

“Well ever since this girl came here you are not yourself. She practically took over your life, man. She is all you care about. But you have your own life. Not everything has to revolve around her.”

 

“Don't talk about her like that,” Ben cautioned.

 

“Like what? I get she was your only friend growing up. But she isn't anymore. Still she acts too overly possessive of you. She moved in with you and took over your life. Now you are all about her. I mean that isn't healthy,” Hux blurted out.

 

Ben's blood was boiling. He couldn't believe he was here listening to this bullshit. He regretted coming out at all tonight.

 

He tried to count back, to tamper his anger down. His hands were in fists, nails digging into his palms. The thing was Hux or people in general didn't understand him at all.

 

Rey wasn't the one making him do anything. She was the reason why Ben was alive and he did not try to end his life already. Rey was the light guiding him through the darkest years of him life. She was the only one who always understood him.

 

Rey wasn't taking over his life. She was the one grounding him, bringing out the best in him.

 

Ben felt himself calm down just thinking about her. He looked at Hux. He understood his logic. Hux was all about logic. And in his own way thought what he was doing was the right thing.

 

But the problem was it never helped. Every time Hux tried to make his life _better,_ it only worked to muddle it further. The things Hux talked him into doing made Ben only regret his decisions. Or left him feeling more broken.

 

Ben was Hux’s first true friend. Before Ben, he was a snob overachiever who never thought anyone was worthy enough to be his friend. He couldn't judge him for it. Ben too felt he could have more stimulating conversations with his peers in college. When Hux met Ben, he latched onto him. And they had been peers, friends, oftentimes frenemies ever since.

 

Which made him so important in his view. But if Ben was true to himself, with Hux he only did things that made him seem normal. Act in a way it was socially acceptable. But it wasn't him. He was just acting. Living a life people expected of him.

 

Which only left him feeling hollow on the inside. The hollowness Rey started to fill up ever since she moved in with him.

 

“You don't know what you are talking about,” Ben said with a mirthless laugh.

 

“You really think so?” Hux remarked.

 

“I know so” Ben said as he started to pull on his jacket. Ben saw him looking behind him, and this time he turned around. He saw Bazine approaching them. It only reminded him of his last interaction with the girl and how fiercely Rey defended him.

 

Shaking his head Ben turned to Hux. “Rey is the only person who understands me. She isn't taking over my life. It already belonged to her.”

 

With that he walked out, leaving Hux gaping.

 

* * *

 

Ben called Rey while driving back. He texted her earlier to see if she needed picking up. But she didn't reply as her phone was switched off. Which was normal but she still wasn't picking up.

 

As he drove home Ben tried not to panic. He pulled over and quickly parked the car. Almost running into the elevator, he opened the door with a shaking hand. For some reason, he dreaded her not being there.

 

Ben rushed in, and found Rey sitting in a ball on their couch. She looked up at him looking tired and a little sad. Ben knelt down in front if her, cupping her small face in his large hands.

 

“What happened?” Rey turned her face into his palm.

 

“It's nothing. I just missed you,” Ben said kissing her forehead. “How are you feeling?”

 

“Drained. Exhausted.” Rey sighed.

 

Ben hummed. “Did you have dinner?”

 

“Yeah. With Jess,” she nodded.

 

“Okay,” Ben said, as he picked her up in his arms, making Rey yelp in surprise. “Then you need rest,” he said kissing her temple, as he walked them towards their room.

 

* * *

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote Hux based on my own personal experience with those "friends" that never really get you, and constantly try to change you for the "better". As a demi I had people telling me "I'm not normal" or "i should act more normal" or "You should get out, find someone" "This isn't healthy" and when I'm in a relationship they'd be critical of it too. I don't know if you guys can relate but that's just has been my experience. Also you all know I hate the Leech, who better to portray that?
> 
> Anyway as always, your comments and thoughts are my sole motivator to write this au. ;-) Keeping that in mind, hope you enjoyed it.
> 
> Until next time... :*

**Author's Note:**

> Perry downing encouraged me to put it down on paper months ago, but Robyn is the one pushed me to publish it finally. And Nori who makes all my stories sound much better. So thank you guys.
> 
> A lot of issues Ben has is based on my own mental health problems, anxiety issues, and life experiences as a demisexual. So please be gentle.
> 
>  
> 
> My tumblr: [@Shwtle2Reylo](http://shwtlee2reylo.tumblr.com/). Come and say hi!


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